hodgepodge

Nalugi...

2009-07-16T08:13:00.000+08:00

I am now officially broke... And this is one face of being broke... Don't know what to do...

Actually acting lang yan! Hehehe... And although I've exhausted all my funds with a considerable amount of credit card accountability, the last 6 months of carefree respite was well worth it!

Too bad it had to end. :(

fashion victim part 2

2009-06-12T09:41:00.000+08:00

extreme conditions make a fashion victim:

we went for a picnic and fishing in lake gregory. since it's almost summer, i expected that it wouldn't be so chilly, though i was warned beforehand that it would be a wee bit cold there. i went there in shorts and sandals. gosh! i froze! i bought socks and a towel at a nearby shop. inside my hood, i was wearing a cap. sometimes i'd drape that pink towel over my legs. just imagine how i looked! light blue jacket with gray cap under the hood, pink towel skirt, and black socks and gold sandals!

a similar experience happened to me when i went climbing mt. fuji. my ensemble then was forgivable. this is not! fashion police, i'm turning myself over!

grrr import tool

2009-05-11T08:29:00.000+08:00

last night i tried to import ONLY two posts from my original and main blog via multiply's import tool because they weren't automatically included here. my posts in blogspot used to be posted here after i submit them. i don't know what happened. so i decided to use the import tool to import my allison iraheta posts.

kaso!!!! grrrr...

someone told me that i posted too many things. after reviewing my entries, aba, nasali ang mga posts sa ibang blogs kung san member ako!!!! posts from epicverses.blogspot.com, from my PICPA toastmasters blog, and from my supposedly secret blog! grrrr...

thanks eric for pointing it out... it would have been a catastrophe:

1. entries to my secret blog would have been promulgated! charing!
2. i would be charged with plagiarism for posting here the poems of the very talented people in epicverses.blogspot.com
3. i'd be raising "huh" reactions from people reading about PICPA toastmasters

hay, i didn't know what happened during the import but i'm not using it anymore! EVER!

allison fans

2009-05-08T05:14:00.002+08:00

just some proof that her fans are big time... i haven't heard of popular names being yucky gokey's fans. eww!

mtv's jim cantiello: http://www.mtv.com/videos/news/377725/allison-iraheta-in-60-seconds.jhtml#name=features&id=1605360

watch all his 60 second videos. very funny!

the great melinda doolittle:
http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/morning/Idol_Interview_Allison_Iraheta_050709
http://mdoolittlesblog.blogspot.com/
https://twitter.com/mdoolittle

and ellen degeneres in her show interviewing simon yucky cowell... she pointed out to him when did american idol become a wardrobe contest? she further added that allison is special... she specifically mentioned allison of all the contestants..

what happened to simon scowl this year?

and the idol extra host claimed she's her favorite: http://www.rickey.org/?p=15614

dang!

mega upset

2009-05-07T15:24:00.002+08:00

i'm so upset with allison iraheta's elimination! yucky gokey should have gone! remember the scary scream???? plus the smug and arrogant "i'm already the winner" kind of expression. ugh!

what makes me upset aside from the fact that she deserves to be in the finale with adam was that i voted mega ultra wild. i voted using three phones! the landline was hooked up to my bro's laptop and set to auto dial for allison's numbers via dial idol's software. it registered a total of 350+ votes for 2 hours. at the same time, my left and right hands were busy dialing: yes i had two cellphones. i dialed for one hour and a half nonstop. after dialing, i'd put both phones on each of my ears to check that my call got through. i counted that i got through 60 calls per cellphone in 30 minutes. so i had 180 votes per cellphone. that is 360 votes for both cellphone. and that is 710+ votes in total! ugh! maybe i should have voted for 2 hours straight!

i was so upset that an hour after watching the results show, i sent email to two suitors and turned them down! what the! hahaha. now i'm laughing. yeah, they're busted. they should have voted even if one couldn't because of where he is. :p

anyways, good thing my mood was lifted because of a very very good news from a dear friend! congrats again to both of you. hopefully the date is as you said. ;)

hay, allison is now out. i'll have to vote for adam and kris so that yucky gokey is eliminated next! grrr.

....

2008-09-26T00:47:00.002+08:00

ang pangit ng araw ko ngayon.

di ko maintindihan. wala sa mood. parang meron ako kahit wala. at imposibleng mangyari. uminit ang ulo. napagtaasan ng boses ang isang baguhang miyembro sa trabaho. dineadma ang mga kaibigan. tinaasan ng kilay ang ibang tao. na-frustrate sa trabaho. muntik nang ibato ang mga kagamitan sa trabaho. muntik nang mag-resign. nagkamali sa mga ginawa. nawalan ng isang pagkakataon. lumabas ang mga kahinaan.

bakit kaya?

tapos kanina habang naglalakad pauwi naalala ko. napanaginipan pala kita. kaya pala.

ang pangit ng araw ko ngayon.

who knew by pink

2008-03-06T13:53:00.000+08:00

i'm so crazy about this song right now... ahhh... maybe because...

---------

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
cause you said forever
and ever
who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

Tubbataha Reef

2008-03-03T21:24:00.002+08:00

there's an ongoing online voting for the new 7 natural wonders of the world. our very own tubbataha reef, mayon volcano and chocolate hills are included in the 77 candidates.

read about it more at:

http://www.philstar.com/index.php?Headlines&p=49&type=2&sec=24&aid=20080302129

wouldn't it be nice to have our very own included in the 7 wonders?

cast your votes at:

http://www.new7wonders.com/nature/en/liveranking

keep on voting especially for the Tubbataha Reef!

mwah!

canadian blog awards

2008-01-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

whew! haven't been here for a while. i've got nothing to chika muna at the moment except that the canadian blog awards are here once again. and james' blog is again a nominee.

please vote for his site, gay persons of color, at http://www.polldaddy.com/poll.aspx?p=250318

you can check out his blog too at http://gay-persons-of-color.blogspot.com/

pag sinupurtahan nyo sya, para nyo na rin akong sinupurtahan. actually sinusupurtahan nyo kaming lahat! ;)

bow!

dec 17: pang-himagas

2007-12-17T16:30:00.000+08:00

ang sarap talaga ng silk soya milk! grabeh! i just might consider moving here or not leaving because of it! hehehe

now sleep na talaga! :p

dec 16: pahabol

2007-12-17T16:25:00.000+08:00

pumunta pala kami sa isang malaking place na factory outlets ng branded rtw. gosh! ba't ko ba nakakalimutan yung mga names nung places na pinuntahan namin??? i think it's just the cold! :p

hay, etong mga kapatid ko nahihiya pang ipag-shop ni ateh! ako na lang tuloy nakabili for me! isang sapatos na naman from hush puppies! darn! sira ang budget.

pero babalik ako dun bago umuwi! hekhekhek!

dec 16: crab galore

2007-12-17T16:11:00.000+08:00

wala lang. gumising ako. kumain ng chimichanga. breakfast yan ha. pang-restaurant ko yan sa singapore. :p at uminom ng pinakamasarap na soya milk na natikman ko! natulog ulit. pagkagising, 130pm na. kawawa ang mga kapatid kong nag-antay. walang lunch!

pumunta kami sa anumang pangalan ng lugar na yun. basta sa fisherman's wharf. ung parang sutukil ng cebu or dampa ng manila. pero crabs lang yung buhay na pinipili namin. we got 4 rock crabs and 1 spider crab. naloka ako sa spider crab. sing-laki nya si tobey maguire! at medyo chewy din sya kainin. inimagine ko na lang na nginunguya ko ang muscles ni mr tobey! hehehe.

it was super duper late na lunch. then pecture pecture dun sa dock. may mga yachts. pagkatapos nag drive lang sa isang place na ang mga bahay ay nag-decorate for christmas. ok naman. not really as elaborate compared kung yung pinoy ang nag-decorate! although, masasabi mo ginastusan din talaga kasi ung iba may singing santa clause pa sa gate nila at mga umiilaw at tumatango-tangong reindeers!

uwi lang. then sa lahat ako lang ang nagutom! ano ka ba emman? sawa na yata ang alaga mo sa tyan! imagine, ung mga kapatid ko nag-milk lang then tulog na? habang ako nagluto pa ng hash brown and egg. tapos eto umiinom ng soya milk habang tinatapos ang kaeklatan tong blog na to! hehehe. hay, na-entice ako ng ben and jerry's ice cream sa ref. pagtikim ko, YUCK! parang sira! hay ang expiry date aug 2005!!!! ha? ano ba yan??? two years ago pa ba yan na pinabayaan sa ref??? kaso di ko sila matanong. tulog na lahat eh. eh pano ba naman? 4pm pa kaya sa nasanayang kong bansa! so bukas na lang.

at eto ako, tatapusin ko na to. iinom na lang ako ng soya milk ulit! ang yummy! :) night night!

good night v. i miss u already! hahaha. ang na-intriga, iniintriga ko lang! :p

dec 15: maganda pa rin

2007-12-17T15:44:00.000+08:00

pagkalabas ko ng eroplano sa pang-daigdigang paliparan ng los angeles (tama ba? hala, mag-tagalog ka pa emman), otherwise known as los angeles international airport, aba umikot ang aking mundo. para akong lasing na rumarampa palabas ng aeroplane. sa isip ko, eto na ba ang jet lag? di ko kasi alam kung ano talaga ang jet lag. kalasingan lang pala? :p

napatingin ako sa isang glass door. laking gulat ko! ang ganda ko pa rin! :D talaga naman talaga! kahit saang lupalop ng daigdig. kahit anong oras. kahit anong kondisyon. ang kagandahan ni emman walang kakupas-kupas, parang papayang hindi naaagnas! wehehehe.

pero ha, nalusyang ako sa trip na yun. akala ko kasi maluwag ang mga upuan ng eroplano. eh kasi naman 12 hours kaya ung byahe so medyo high ang expectations ko. hay naku, tulad lang ng regular na airplane seats and spaces. imagine? good thing na lang at bakante ung gitnang upuan at may napatungan ako ng aking mga faa. in fairness, masarap ang fagkain. subalit, nakakainis ang nasa likod kong mag-ina kasi mega tantrums ang anak maya maya. parang baka kung umiyak at parang lindol kung sumipa ng upuan ko. hindi ako nag-reklamo kasi bata nga naman at napaka-uncomfortable nung upuan.

nung nasa immigration na ako, mega ang aking kaba. syempre baka i-deport nila ako. baka bawal ang exotic and erotic beauties. baka ayaw magkaron ng gulo sa bansa nila. mahirap pa naman magkagulo ang mga amerikanong lalaki. mga aggressive. lalo na yung mga guapo! :p anyways, dun ko napatunayan ang aking androgenous beauty. kasi habang nakapila kami ng 48 years (equivalent to 1 hour human time), mainit so hinubad ko ang aking jacket at naka-sleeveless na lang. may dalawang babaeng mexicana (feel ko), na tingin nang tingin. at nagbubulungan. ang nakuha ko lang ay "hombre"... di ba lalaki yan? so bale, nag-gue-guess sila actually kung anong kasarian ko! hay naku, 0.5 points lang maibibigay ko kasi half lang ang tama nila. of course, i'm half-man half-goddess! :p

come interview time with immigration officer, simple questions. what are you doing here? how long are you going to stay? how many times have you been here before? after that, you can go na ang sinabi. huwow! praise heavens! ;)

ang next na challenge ay paghahanap ng aking bag. gosh! iba ang kinuha ko na kamukha nung bag nina sue. grabeh mega bigat pa naman. na-mroblema na ko kung pano ko ibalik. di ko na sya carry. siguro within 5 minutes na naibaba ko, nagmagandang loob ang isang pinoy (although nag english sya) na ilagay ung bag kasi malamang hinahanap na daw. ows? style! nagandahan ka lang sa kin eh! hehehe

at nung nahanap ko na, hay pila na naman sa customs bago lumabas. may interview portion din. are you bringing any meat, poultry or fish? no, sir. i come in fish, este, in peace only. how about seeds and plants? the seeds have been planted already in my stomach sir a few nights ago! don't worry, it will only grow babies. how much money did u bring? secret! :p

pagkalabas ko, wumawagayway ang aking ina, ama, at mga kapatid. at no sue, walang mega drama. ngiti lang. siguro glint of a tear or two. ;)

then off we go. aba, ang sasakyan bago at maganda. kakabili lang nung dec 19 in preparation for my arrival. gosh! puede ko bang iuwi yan? :p

nag-dinner kami sa denny's which is just behind nung tinitirhan ng pamilya ko. first time nila dun kahit nasa likod lang ng bakuran nila. ang damages? 80USD including 15% tip. ang laki noh? for meals na pang-breakfast ang dating (bread, toast, hash browns, etc).

hay nung home sweet home na, syempre labasan ng pasalubong, tingin tingin sa paligid (sobrang okay), at ang ref punong puno ng pagkaing dito ko lang yata makikita sa 'tate. yun ung okay for me. ang food. pero sa drive drive at gala gala namin, nothing really special. just very wide roads. wala pa kong super guapong nakita.

mega ang aking tulog. di ko maintindihan ang oras. nalilito ang aking katawan! :p

sikat

2007-12-05T17:31:00.000+08:00

tau-tauhan: big boss, mystery girl, kaibigan ni mystery girl, officemate.

boss to mystery girl: how do you know each other? (referring to the kaibigan of mystery girl) did you work together in cebu?

mystery girl: ah, no. but we come from the same school. we just met here at our company.

boss: ahhh...

sa kabilang bahagi ng mundo.

officemate to kaibigan ni mystery girl: oh, so you went to the same school?

kaibigan ni mystery girl: yes.

officemate: is she famous there? (more of like a rhetorical question)

- abangan ang susunod na kabanata -

career change?

2007-11-28T14:25:00.001+08:00

i had a brief chat with someone whom i encounter almost on a daily basis:

she: are you in advertising?
moi: nope. why?
she: oh. well, you look like you are.
moi: ah. hehehe.

gosh! my look is so advertising! hmmmm.... napapaisip tuloy ako! :p

gay news

2007-11-22T00:42:00.000+08:00

November 21, 2007

archbishop tutu criticises churches’ 'gay obsession’

By News Editor

Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu has criticised his own church - in a BBC radio programme to be aired next Tuesday - for being "obsessed" with homosexuality at a time when the world is beset with other pressing problems such as poverty, HIV and conflict.

South Africa's retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu has criticised the Anglican Church and its leadership for being "obsessed" with homosexuality. He told the BBC’s Radio 4 in an interview last week he was ashamed of the church for its attitude toward homosexuals. The 40-minute radio programme, to be aired next Tuesday, will focus on the conflict over homosexuality in the worldwide Anglican Church.

One of South Africa’s most outspoken critics of apartheid and winner of the 1984 Nobel Peace prize, retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu

He said that the Anglican Church had appeared "extraordinarily homophobic" during the debate over whether Gene Robinson - an openly gay priest - should be allowed to be the Bishop of New Hampshire.

One of South Africa’s most outspoken critics of apartheid and winner of the 1984 Nobel Peace prize, the 76-year-old said God "must be weeping" at seeing that the Church had such misplaced priorities. He further criticised the present Archbishop of Canterbury for not demonstrating the attributes of a "welcoming God."

"Our world is facing problems - poverty, HIV and AIDS - a devastating pandemic, and conflict. God must be weeping looking at some of the atrocities that we commit against one another. In the face of all of that, our Church, especially the Anglican Church, at this time is almost obsessed with questions of human sexuality."

"If we are going to not welcome or invite people because of sexual orientation, yes. If God as they say is homophobic I wouldn't worship that God."

Reiterating what he had previously expressed, the Archbishop admonished religious conservatives who say that homosexuality is a choice that gay people make: "It is a perversion if you say to me that a person chooses to be homosexual. You must be crazy to choose a way of life that exposes you to a kind of hatred. It's like saying you choose to be black in a race infected society."

kayrami...

2007-11-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

hay naku!

there's friendster. there's myspace. there's multiply. there's tagged. there's sms.ac. may facepic. may wayn. may guyslink. ngayon may facebook. at may odesk na naman!

hay naku! ang dami! naloka na ko sa mga network sites na yan! ayoko nang gumawa ng profiles. nauubos yung oras ko!

ayang facebook na yan. accept lang ako nang accept kasi parang ang daming naloka maglaro ng kung anik-anik!

hay, gawa na lang ako ng emmster! tingnan ko if mag-grow yung network ko! :p

tama na muna ang mga sites na ganyan... kailangang mag-concentrate sa ibang activities. kailangang panindigan ko ang aking pagiging presidente! ahem! :p

kung ano man yan. akin akin na lang! :p

mahirap pala maging pinuno. lalo na pag ang pinagpre-preparean eh para sa 900 na katao sa singapore! ssshhhh!

puede na nga ako gumawa ng emmster. kayrami na din pala akong puede ipa-subscribe! :p

ostracism

2007-11-17T03:41:00.000+08:00

do you call it ostracism when you stop inviting someone to gatherings which he was almost always present in just so you can give yourself the chance to heal and move on?

i don't think so especially if other people in your group have the liberty of inviting that someone.

just a thought to ponder coz that's how a friend penned a situation, long over, i described to him.

anyhow, despite having at least one hurting in the past because of that, i think everyone's happy now. that's the most important thing. :)

at the top

2007-11-15T00:27:00.000+08:00

pag unti unti ka nang umaangat at na-expose sa maraming corporate angles (whatever that is), you'll encounter a myriad of personalities. the worst thing? well, the worst ones of course!

at ngayong araw, i met an asshole! they do exist pala! promise!

sabi nga nila, it's lonely at the top. no wonder he's like how he is.

hate and love

2007-11-14T02:38:00.000+08:00

it's bad how you're kept awake by you're hatred of some people's remarks done in a distasteful tone of voice characterized by superiority complex! just a fraction of hearing that kind of assuming and superiorly tone brings back all the bad events that happened during the day! ugh! enough of that please! i don't want to talk to the likes of you!

good thing there's youtube to keep me company at this unholy hour. it's keeping me from banging my desk. and it's allowed me to relive my love for this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06L1gV1tLy4

i tag you!

2007-11-08T10:50:00.000+08:00

di ba tag kay hikap hikap man? :p

ganahan man tingali pahikap si dongky, so manghikap na lang ko!

una ka dong! wahahaha

i tag dongky!

i tag madonna salome diez!

i tag mrs klit!

i tag mrs lily!

i tag nolanie!

i tag madam rizza!

i tag mr camus!

i tag ms lendu!

i tag all of you na lang uy!

ngeh! kadaghang babay sa lista!

ang kanang babay wala nako gihikap ha... tuklod na lang! wehehehe

tagged!

2007-11-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

good thing di tagged me! i remembered i have a blog! LOL! :p now, it's awakened from its hiatus. so here goes mine di! thanks for tagging moi! mwah! ;)

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Seven facts about me: the only daughter in a children of four, jane of all trades mistress of none, supermodel wannabe, dreamer, wanderer, wonderer, deluded goddess

A - Age: 29
B - Band Listening To Right Now: Caedmon's Call
C - Career: Software Engineer
D - Drink or Smoke: long island iced tea, i hate smoking
E - Easiest Friends To Talk To: they know who they are ;)
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: both
H - Have a Boyfriend : :)
I - In love: :)
J- Junk Food You Like: lay's sour cream and onion
K - Kids: if i get pregnant
L - Longest Ride Ever: boat from cebu to manila
N - Names For Your Future Kids: emms junior
O - One Wish You Have Now: have a taste of....
P - Phobias: high places with very low ledges waaahhhh
Q - Favorite Quote: what doesn't kill you will make you stronger
R - Reasons To Smile: THE trip!
S - Sleeping Time: 1am
T - Time You Woke Up: 8:20am
U - Unknown Fact About You: i'm shy
V - Vegetable You Hate: i don't quite like okra but i still eat it ;)
W - Worst Habit: tardy
X - X-rays You’ve Had: chest
Y - Yummy Foods: i forgot their names! :p
Z - Zodiac Sign: capricorn/snake

song of the week

2007-10-25T15:44:00.000+08:00

"Power of Two"

Now the parking lot is empty
Everyones gone someplace
I pick you up and in the trunk Ive packed
A cooler and a 2-day suitcase
Cause theres a place we like to drive
Way out in the country
Five miles out of the city limit were singing
And your hands upon my knee

So were okay
Were fine
Baby Im here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
Im stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Well look at them together then well take them apart
Adding up the total of a love thats true
Multiply life by the power of two

You know the things that I am afraid of
Im not afraid to tell
And if we ever leave a legacy
Its that we loved each other well
Cause Ive seen the shadows of so many people
Trying on the treasures of youth
But a road that fancy and fast
Ends in a fatal crash
And Im glad we got off
To tell you the truth

Cause were okay
Were fine
Baby Im here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
Im stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Well look at them together then well take them apart
Adding up the total of a love thats true
Multiply life by the power of two

All the shiny little trinkets of temptation
(make new friends)
Something new instead of something old
(but keep the old)
All you gotta do is scratch beneath the surface
(but remember what is gold)
And its fools gold
(what is gold)
Fools gold
(what is gold)
Fools gold

Now were talking about a difficult thing
And your eyes are getting wet
I took us for better and I took us for worse
Dont you ever forget it
Now the steel bars between me and a promise
Suddenly bend with ease
The closer Im bound in love to you
The closer I am to free

So were okay
Were fine
Baby Im here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
Im stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Well look at them together then well take them apart
Adding up the total of a love thats true
Multiply life by the power of two

===================
going out to you who've been played with many times. stay away from those jerks! ;)

quote to reflect on

2007-10-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

I expect you can share some nice songs with me…...

ano yaaaannnn??? etong mga chinese talaga. kailangang ayusin ang pag phrase ng sentences. napapaisip tuloy ako. hindi ko na naman sana sya crush! tagal na! ahem! :p

hindi ko tuloy ma-delete ang email! :p

funny clips

2007-10-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

naloka ako sa mga clips na to... the first two were shown in the training i'm in to right now. grabeh, ako pinakadakog katawa sa mga participants! wahahaha

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1WaF4WS-yaU

http://youtube.com/watch?v=prSQv6aTfDI

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BRwXtD7HUCo

pahabol sa buzy

2007-10-06T02:37:00.001+08:00

waaaahhhh i forgot to mention that my manager asked me to prepare an itinerary for our team's team building activity which we should be holding either end of october or first week of november!

ok ka lang???

everything's out of my system. now i can sleep.

oh, i should still send someone a book via snail mail! :D watch out for it sweetheart! :p

buzy buzy buzy

2007-10-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

october is definitely the busiest month for me in 2007. so far. it's not only about work. i'm not staying late at the office like i used to because of work but i'm still busiest now because i'm juggling a lot of things to do and i'm sorting out a lot of things in my mind.

oct 1 - 2. i was on external training for unleashing my creativity! wow! contrary to public understanding (courtesy of sue), this seminar is not about singing, dancing, acting, or what else have you. it's about problem solving and innovating at the workplace chuvalences. i didn't like it. at all! :p

oct 3 - 5. craziness! being the vice-chairman of the recreational club of our company, i'll be taking over the chairman's responsibilities as she is leaving the company this month. ging gang gooly goodness gracious! i've never handled such big a responsibility in planning, monitoring, and making decisions for activities for a company with almost a thousand employees! gosh! we have a family day coming up this 20th october. i thought everything was running smooth in our preparations but when we had our meeting, everything was in shambles. when i called up our organizer, the payment hasn't been made. panic mode in full force! good thing the goddess rose to the occasion and was able to discover what's been thought to have been all right and made some actions and decisions before it's too late. it's my first time to be exposed to the complicated process of raising PRs and what nots! i had to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done today!

but gosh! i hope everything turns out well next week for the planning as i will be out of the office for another three days! waaaahhhh!!!

oct 8 - 10. project management training. it's good to have connections. teehee! a training that's not supposed to be yours can be yours! :p well, somebody backed out. i was informed. i wasn't supposed to be eligible but connections connections! :p

but what about the family day! my gaaaaaaadddddd!!! panic again! we have to have 1,350 people for this company activity! ok emman. calm down. breathe. say banana. not yet okay? all right, think of a bigger banana. there you go! should be happy now! :p

oct 11 - 12. family day again. meeting with the organizer and emcees for program preparation. prizes not yet decided. registrants still to be determined. there's only one week left to prepare!!! breathe. stay calm. banana. big banana.

oct 15 - 17. another external training. vb .net. good addition to my resume! wehehehe. hay, this month is training month. good company. good company! :D

oct 18 - 19. nervous breakdown. noh! be a goddess of serenity and calm emman. go to a church. pray on your knees from door to altar. the family day will be a success! ;)

oct 20. pandemonium! waaaahhhh... hehehe. it'll be very very fun and successful! pwamis! ;)

oct 22 - 25. cramming time to get all my acts together to give a good impression to a visiting french boss who will be discussing project matters which i'll be playing a big role in. pressure! :(

oct 24. supposed to go home for one of my closest friend's (fe's) wedding. wahhh cannot lah! french boss discuss project to me lah! :( will go home on the weekend instead! waaahhhh, airfare sky high lah! miracle please! miracle for airfare to go down. i'll only go home on the weekend to meet fe and her english fiance.

in between those dates mentioned, i've got to squeeze in my study for my new project which will be starting in 2 or 3 weeks, my mentoring of the new validation engineer assigned to me, planning and monitoring for the biggest company event happening in november which is the dinner and dance (nervous... nervous.... raffle draw mechanics... interesting gimmicks... gosh... it's just a month of preparation after family day), and my preparation for the trip of my life in december (tickets are way over my budget!!!).

waaaahhhh, just reading all these makes me wanna cry in the loving arms of a husband. but i don't have a husband. bob doesn't want me to be his wife. roland hasn't sent me an email or anything. kenneth is off womanizing. and viel is only sending me take care sms once in a blue moon! and i'm 100% not giving in to any of my stalkers! waaaahhh... hehehe... i don't have time pala for lovelife this month... or until end of this year...

focus emman. focus. you'll get through it all. all you need is faith in yourself and in others who are working with you. some good rest and proper eating. and of course, your source of strength and life: banana! everything will be all right! :p

quoteable quote

2007-10-04T22:09:00.000+08:00

"We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives."

~Dr. Meredith Grey~

---

thanks madz for sharing it :)

an eventful day

2007-10-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

a series of interesting events happened today.

1. i was the last to arrive at my company-sponsored seminar on creativity at tekka mall in little india. when i arrived, the second to the last latecomer was playing his guitar and singing as punishment for his being late. when i got in, waaaahhhh, people were giving me the "you're next look". they all clapped for me to take the floor and do my own performance as punishment. ang kapal ko. :( i didn't do anything at all. i just said "i don't have any talent". i chickened out. well, i didn't want to make a fool of myself especially that the handsomest guy in our company was there! waaaahhhh... hehehe. besides, i could only sing with a mic and there was none so i couldn't do it. next time na lang. sana wala nang next time! :p

2. a colleague whom i never interacted with except regarding work came up to me when i was alone to ask me if i'd been in gay pubs. hmmm, nagduda na ako! through our conversation, she confided that she's also like me: diyosa. pero sya, babae ang gusto nya. babae rin syang tunay. aba, mega shock ako for her to trust me with that information. and since she trusted me, her secret is safe with me. :) secret eh sinulat ko dito! hwek hwek hwek. secret ang identity nya i mean! :D

3. my ex-crush bxk, who was seated in front of me, kept leaning towards me until his back would touch either my hands or knees. aba aba aba!!! hmmm, sige crush na nga lang ulit! :p

4. uwian time, i walked from little india to bugis. when i was near bugis already, i suddenly stopped walking to look at where i was supposed to go when also, all of a sudden, a guy who was walking so fast stopped in front of me, looked at me intently, and he seemed to take all of me inside his eyes. gosh! there was a little fear in me but i regained my composure. i walked on, changed direction and whola lowla, the guy was following me. he would go ahead of me and then look at me. wala pang smile yan ha! i just looked at him and walked to the nearest bus station to examine the bus guide. aba, to my upper left view, nandun ang mama at inaabangan ako. i didn't bother to look at him straight because i didn't want to encourage him to get on with his plans! ayokong ma-rape in broad daylight noh! hehehe. the guy was either from bangladesh or sri lanka. i'm not really sure. he wasn't bad looking. it was just i was not in the mood! hahaha. hindi noh! the truth is, hindi ako easy girl! :p seriously, medyo natakot talaga ako ng konti because he really followed me around. buti sana kung nag-smile sya eh parang rapist yung dating nya! hay, sa singapore lang talaga ako nagkaron ng mga stalkers! pangalawa sya sa pinakamatinding stalker ko! mahirap talaga pag hot mama ka! :p

5. finally got my w660i sony ericsson walkman phone at a low-whooping 38 singapore dollars! well, thanks to promo and my 100 dollar voucher! grabeh, mas mahal pa ang bed sheet ko kesa sa cellphone!

6. at the escalator in plaza singapura, i noticed a girl. and NO hindi attraction yun but distraction! :p cebuana kasi talking with her other cebuana friend. she looked at me and i looked at her. then we looked at each other again sabay sabi nya "waaahhhh di ko matandaan saan kita nakilala" at sabi ko "familiar ka". naaalala na nya raw. ako daw ung crush nung brother nya at barkada nung brother nya. may pic daw ako sa kanila. naka-frame sa room ng bro nya! jowk! sa dami kong stalker, hindi na ko magtaka na yung brother nya ang connection namin! wehehehe. seriously, schoolmates pala kami in college. small world na naman.

7. when i came home, i wasn't feeling well. nauseated, pa-vomit-vomit kahit walang vomit. i think i'm pregnant! :p and noh, hindi si number 4. nag immaculate conception lang ako kasi may napanaginipan lang ako :p

baby leila

2007-10-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

congratulations to ms lily and lloyd for a healthy and beautiful baby :)

news flash

2007-10-01T00:23:00.000+08:00

there's one good thing that happened to me lately. well, actually it's not so new anymore as it happened around 3 weeks ago. due to having so many things on my mind lately, i only got to announce it to my friends whom i interact with everyday leaving some of my other close friends to find it out from other people. of course, it would be nice if the news comes from me personally.

the closest of my friends know one of the things that had been eluding me for the past 5 years. finally, i have it in my grasp. when i earned it, i didn't know how to feel actually. more than 5 years of waiting to finally be reunited with loved ones is finally possible. i'm not one who cries easily but at that moment, being alone, i cried. not buckets but tears that i could not contain.

happiness can really make you cry. when you have happiness within your grasp, you feel it's even sweeter after all the wait and suffering you had to endure.

happiness can come in the form of a visa. :)

post vacation musings

2007-09-24T01:49:00.000+08:00

it's probably a default thing that happens. when i took a taxi from singapore's budget terminal to go home, i started thinking about work that awaits me the next day. good thing such thoughts never bothered me while i was on vacation. although, my 2 days 2 nights stay in phuket over the weekend wasn't as superb as i hoped it would be, i didn't worry at all of the things that i have to do this week.

in parts i enjoyed my vacation because of the company i was in but there were just some downtimes which i attribute to my own doing. i had been more reflective at times rather than being sociable and enthusiastic. i was drifting to other worlds in my mind in the middle of some interesting topics that my newfound friends were busy with. roland noticed my silence most of the time. my thoughts weren't about work, mind you. they were about something else. something bigger than the world! hehehe.

anyhow, the vacation actually ended with a bang. the last person i parted with whom i originally had qualms of conversing with turned out to be the best discourse i had in the entire trip. i found a kindred soul. an hour of waiting for our flights gave us a chance to open up ourselves to each other. but no this is not your romantic kind of connection. it's the kind where you realize there are others out there who somehow mirrors you: your way of thinking, your experiences, and pretty much who you are. it's the kind that makes you feel you're not alone.

hmmm, the trip wasn't not superb after all. my musings in between lively group discussions were justified by another capricorn born during that short hour of waiting for our flights back to each our homes. plus, i got to see old friends and gained new ones. yeah it was a superb vacation despite my "out of the party" mood.

o tukso layuan nyo ako!

2007-09-19T00:36:00.000+08:00

when i'm down and weary, i give in to temptation.

this time, it's a $79 bedsheet!!! uy mahal na mahal na yan for me ha! i can buy 3 sets with that amount already!

hay, sira na naman ang budget this month! :(

sige na lang, masarap naman ang tulog! ;)

dream interpretation

2007-09-17T10:41:00.000+08:00

last night i dreamt of eating glass. yeah like it was something really delicious! i remember that at first, on my plate were pieces of glass from the window of our kitchen at my current house, yet the setting was in a restaurant with my mom and a friend daw ha! i munched on them kitchen window glass with gusto! when i finished eating what's on my plate, the setting changed. behind me was the the window of our dining area at home. i went to the window, stood on a stool, and took two jalousie glasses. people at the restaurant were looking at me as i put the two jalousie glasses on my plate. aside from being aware of the eyes on me, i was wondering how i'd eat the two glasses when they were fatter than my arms!!! well, i think i didn't eat them at all. a little later though, a lady came to our table and told me that there's a furniture shop nearby where i could buy some jalousie glasses! wehehehe. end of dream.

i usually consult www.dreammoods.com for my dreams. here's what it had to say about eating glasses.

"To dream that you are eating glass, highlights your vulnerability, confusion and frailty. You may have difficulties in communicating your thoughts across and getting the right words out. Alternatively, it may symbolize your hurtful and cutting comments. Perhaps you have been hurt or disappointed by something that someone had said. Or you need to be careful in how you phrase and word things or run the risk of offending others."

hmmm. i was amazed at the "correctness" that this interpretation have. well, for my case, that is. i've had some moments lately of not being able to communicate well my thoughts and feelings that i, most of the time, withdrew myself from continuing what i was about to say. it happened to me yesterday and today. and YEAH there's one incident lately when i was hurt (or pa hurt hurt hehehe) by what someone said! i didn't expect that time that words that were supposed to comfort could hurt! hehehe. or baka nag-da-drama lang ako nun! :p anyways, for now, ayoko syang makausap! mag-enjoy syang mag-isa! wahehehe. :p makakakain na nga lang ulit ng glass! mas masarap pa kaysa sa kanya! :p

sweet 20 something

2007-09-03T00:05:00.001+08:00

happy birthday suzie!!! :)

mwah!

corrections and keepsakes

2007-09-02T20:49:00.000+08:00

i went through my japan memorabilia as they lie cluttered on my desk since april pa. gosh! i still haven't thrown any of the brochures, bullet train tickets, and even the notes i made on an a5 bond paper. i just can't seem to part with them. it seems that i'll forget my experiences if i throw them away.

i went through the huis ten bosch brochure. i discovered that i made a mistake of claiming in one of my earlier posts that one of the pictures i took was that of a replica of netherland's queen beatrix' palace. it was not. it was the ANA hotel. i have to correct it here. mahirap na. baka i-demanda pa ako! :p

i wasn't able to go to palace huis ten bosch pala, which was the actual reproduction of the queen's residence, due to the rain, limited time, and the huge size of the place. the movie feature, where the viewers' faces were scanned and made as characters in it, was called grand odyssey. it's the first participatory movie theater in the world. the restaurant where i had the most expensive meal of my life so far was in hotel amsterdam. the best 3d movie i ever saw was also in huis ten bosch: mysterious escher. the animal park which i failed to go to was called biopark. finally, the tower where i took the "aerial" shots of huis ten bosch wasn't a clock tower at all. (another wrong claim! sigh!) it was a landmark tower called domtoren.

i'm writing all these names since i'll be throwing the brochures and the notes. i can't hold on to them. since i've already decided on what i will be doing, i can't hang on to every item i collect in every place i go to. good thing i have this blog. it will come useful for someone who shall be leading a nomadic life in the months to come. this blog will remind me of the places i went to and will be going to, things i did and will be doing, and experiences i had and will be having.

but until my vagabond life begins, i will hold on to some little things for a while. some are just hard to part with like the little notes i got from friends. even the package wrapper of a book delivered through snail mail is not easy to throw away. i'm not sure if i'll be bringing these with me when i start packing my suitcase; but, for now, they'll stay on my desk waiting for my fingers to run through them once more in times of reminiscing.

ratatouille

2007-08-27T01:01:00.000+08:00

watch it! for me, it was the best movie i've watched so far this year! ;)

it elicited mixed feelings and reactions from me. that's what usually makes me love a movie, a song, or a book or anything!

it made me laugh. it gave me a lump in the throat. it even made me scream once although it's not a horror movie. i was just taken by surprise. hehehe. the best feeling? laughing while having a lump in the throat! :p it was a first for me!

to quote suzie q's favorite line in the movie:

if i don't love it, i don't swallow! wahehehe. :p

best movie for the family! i hope there's a ratatouille restaurant opening. but i don't wish for a rat chef mind you! :p

nihon turipu apr 21: such a gay day!

2007-08-26T23:33:00.000+08:00

i used to highlight in earlier posts either how early or late i woke up in the days during my japan trip prior to april 21; but this date, it'll be different. i neither woke up early nor late because i slept way way past a decent sleep time hour and so i woke up later than late! :p

from my dinner with the friendships tokyo edition on the 2oth, i went straight to arty farty in shinjuku to party and disco with a friend, who turned out to be a party animal after i left him to fend for himself in 2004! you see, i discovered this multi-colored-eyed (his eye color change depending on many things like surrounding light or his mood) brown-haired hansamuna otoko no hito in 2004 and trained him to full beauty-hood that led him to spread his wings and fly! teehee! i danced all night until, hmmm maybe, around 5 am with roland, kazuya, shinichi, and, of course, the unforgettable jun! :p why unforgettable? well, you'll find out later! hehehe.

despite having not enough sleep and being exhausted from my travel from osaka to kyoto to tokyo the day before, i danced like crazy because i knew that my trip would be ending soon! talagang sinulit! sayang ang ginastos lahat lahat eh! hahaha. and because i danced like there was no tomorrow, roland would regularly tell me of people who were checking me out. pero wa care ako! sometimes kasi, i get too carried away in dancing at wala na akong pakialam sa mundo because i become music itself. charing! may ganun ba? :p but one japanese guy was too good to be ignored. well, at least for roland at first. roland kept telling me that the guy behind me kept looking at me. when i turned around. holy mama of creation! one of the handsomest japanese faces i've ever seen in my life in a black suit with the tie loosened was hurriedly looking at the space above me at the instant that i turned to look at him. there was one problem though. he was too tall for me! wehehehe. i think he was about 6 feet tall. those who know me know my preference for diminutive beings. hehehe. :p

i turned back to roland and told him that the guy wasn't looking at me at all. roland told me that he would look away each time i face his direction and that he'd be observing me every time my back was to him. ging gang gooly goodness gracious! i started becoming conscious. di na ko makapag-sayaw ala shakira! naging mahal at mura na yata yung steps ko after that. and the naughty roland would be pushing me towards the guy. ano yan? nasaan na ang ating mga holding hands ha??? ooopppsss wrong revelation! :p

i tried to be brave but di ko kinaya ang kaguapuhan nya. i tried to dance with him but only for a very short while. naisip ko kasi: am i worthy? nag-dive ang confidence ni emman. hehehe. so i went on dancing with my friends until some other guys, or gays whichever they were, joined us. one of them was a half japanese half pinoy who only knew filipino curse words because he already grew up in japan. another one was ian, a fellow half filipino half filipina, na ni-reto ko kay jun which, later, i regretted of doing. crush ko kasi si jun because of his childish antics. lalo pa akong na in lab dahil talentado pala sya! :p

sometime when i took a break outside the bar, i met the tall handsomest guy ever. i mustered all the mustard-like confidence i could and smiled at him. we talked for about 15 seconds. unfortunately he was going home because his friend was going home. and in a quick instant, time was suddenly frozen or at least i had the movie-like slow motion moment, he hugged me! gosh! it was the best hug of my life! haaaaayyyyy. that was it. he walked away, waved and smiled while i could only look on, melting like ben n jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream! yummy! :p

you cannot blame me for not being able to get his number or email or you could say for letting the moment pass by. i was too mesmerized to do anything. and i guess he was also boyishly embarassed at what he did. oh my god. kinikilig na naman ako ngayon. tinatamaan ako ng arrows ni cupid! :p

enough of him na. sumasakit lang ang dibdib ko. :p

at around 5am, the same gang with the addition of ian, went to jonathan's, a 24 hour restaurant. duon masyado nang kinareer ni ian si jun! hmph! well, kasalanan ko naman kung bakit sila naging close. after having breakfast, we all went for karaoke. ang gagaling kumanta ng mga hapon! lalo na si jun. when he sang an emotional song, ian and i were looking at him with our jaws open! kaka-in love!!! i discovered that jun has a band. and i later discovered when i was in singapore already that he is the vocalist and guitarist of the ogs band with a number of screaming fans to their name! gosh! celebrity pala sya. hihihihi! :p one to-do thing ticked! ;)

i just have to mention that i sang islands in the stream with roland. hmmm, ganun kaya kami?

i think we left at around 9am. i got to lily's place at past lunch time. when i got there nagligpit pa ko. i asked them to let me sleep for a couple of hours. at 630, i was meeting roland again for dinner. i think i slept at around past 2. i planned of waking up at 4 so i could do some hasty pasalubong shopping as i hadn't done it yet.

and tadaaaa! i woke up past 630! panic full mode!!! was it 630 miss lily? i can't remember na actually. pero i called up roland and apologize profusely but he was also very late. hehehe. good thing na lang.

then i met him, rob, kiyo, and kazuya at shin-yokohama for the best katsudon meal i've ever had!

rob gave me a naughty calendar from club one seven. and roland gave me a box of ROLAND something. hehehe. i forgot what that food's called. it was like a breakfast cookie or something. para daw di ko sya makalimutan! haller! so hindi ko ba kakainin yun? hmmmm... pero tingin ko gusto nyang kainin ko yun so he'll live in my body forever and ever! pero ilalabas ko rin sa cr noh! har har har! :p meanwhile i was very flattered with the very friendly and jovial kazuya because he kept referring to me as sugoi omoshiroi or amazingly interesting! aba syempre di sya ma-amaze at ma-interested, eh, kinukuento ko ang mga beauty pageant stories ng pilipinas! :p

when we separated ways, it was roland and i on the train platform saying our goodbyes. hay. tagal na naman naming di magkikita. he boarded the train opposite mine. while the train wasn't going yet, people were looking at us kasi we were like children who played hide-and-seek with our faces from the train windows. para kaming nag-bubulagaan! hehehe. anyways, that was both a fun and poignant time. :) and :(

apr 21 was ending. though it was a super happy and gay day, i was sadly packing my suitcase at lily and lloyd's place. thanks lily. nakitulog pa ako. the next day, i was flying home.

mother teresa

2007-08-24T14:33:00.000+08:00

a look at a surprising contradiction yet inspiring nonetheless:

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415-1,00.html

i never imagined the mother teresa we come to know as an epitome of selflessness, love, and piety, could be suffering from inner turmoil. nevertheless, we can draw inspiration from all her works and from how she eventually understood her inner doubts.

masters

2007-08-24T01:03:00.000+08:00

congratulations

to

rhyze and gly! :D

ah murag kasal. hwek hwek hwek!

happy for you for getting your master's degrees!

mwah!

the importance of grammar

2007-08-24T00:26:00.001+08:00

masyadong makabagbag damdamin ang previous ko na post. haluan natin ng medyong nakakaaliw na chika.

my friend elmer is one of the best writers and speakers (with perfect grammar) i know. one time he was the grammarian in our toastmasters club meeting. when he talked about grammar, he started by asking: "is grammar important?" then he went on saying na not really. he claimed that you can talk anything you want. with a few key words people around you will understand. you don't have to phrase your sentences in perfect grammar. he started giving examples. until he came to some examples of giving similar phrases or sentences that actually mean differently with how the tense or the number involved make the supposedly "similar" statements different. so grammar is important in conveying correctly what we want to convey. it allows the receiver of the message to actually get what you mean and avoid any misunderstanding.

kanina sa office at around 8pm. gutom at pagod na ko pero nung narinig ko ang boss kong nagsabi nagtanong sa team lead ko na "can you check the weather..." hanggang duon lang actually ang nag-sink in although may blah blah blah pa yung kasunod. naisip ko? ha??? check the weather? para saan???? at naisip ko na ahhhh he must have meant "can you check whether this or that..." hahaha

ayan, kaya dapat maingat sa grammar. although ako po, medyo pag pasensyahan nyo na. usually di ko na ni-re-review ang mga posts ko. when i read them the next day, ang daming mali. at ayoko nang i-edit pa kasi tamad eh. asus, actually alibi lang to noh. kulelat talaga ako sa grammar. kaya eto nag-ta-tagalog na lang ako. para di masyado halata!

ang oa ko noh? hehehe. the nerd of me! hmph! :p

kina-career ang trabaho

2007-08-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

hahay, late na naman akong nakauwi. 2 weeks na akong mega busy. to the point na pumapasok pa rin kahit may sakit. eh pano ba naman? ung mga counterpart engineers namin sa france, bakasyon nang bakasyon. tig two weeks pa. isa lang matitira then the next week sya naman ang mag-le-leave at papalitan lang ng iba. at itong boss din namin dito, aba, feeling ko nagpapasikat. kabago-bago pa lang kasi eh. so dapat mega ganda points sa mga nakatataas. hmph! supposedly last week pa ang release pero ngayon may problem. next week na naman. kanina may problem na naman. mega escape na nga ako kanina kasi pagod na at gutom, hinabol ba naman ako ng tawag. una sa taxi. then pangalawa nung nasa bahay na ko. pero in fairness, hindi na masungit kung makipag-usap sa kin ang boss ko ngayon. unlike dati na parang tigre pag kausapin ako.

which brings to my next point. dahil sa kasungitan nya, wala akong ganang mag-trabaho. nag mega apply ako actually. ang dami din namang tumawag. medyo marami na rin akong phone interviews. pero lahat binagsak ko! yung 8+ years experience ko sa c++ ay walang sinabi sa mga kailangan ng mga nag-interview sa kin. pero actually hindi ako sa interview bumagsak eh. sa exams lahat at sa isang mega technical interview.

nakaka-depress. feeling ko ang bobo ko na pala. 8+ years wala akong binatbat!

ang mga tinarget ko na investment banks, wala ni isa nag-contact. hindi talaga ako qualified dun with my background. hindi masyado masakit kasi wala lang talaga ako nung kelangan na mga skills.

second merong isang startup na financial company. over the phone ang technical interview. my gaaddd!!! super technical talaga. sa third question pa lang, ayoko na. buti na lang hininto na namin. di actually masakit kasi nagdadalawang isip ako sa isang startup. baka dun na ko mamatay sa opisina nun sa mega ng trabaho.

third sa lta. gusto ko dito dati kasi government office. maganda ang perks and benefits. buti na lang di ako swak actually sa hinahanap nila. di ako puede sa security and crypto. di ako puede component level programming. at lalong wala akong experience sa .net. buti na lang kasi sabi nung manager usually 11pm umuuwi karamihan ng tao nila. di ko na binenta actually sarili ko. so ok lang.

fourth sa borland. hmmm, medyo half-hearted yung application ko dito. tatlong positions ang pinag-submitan ng dalawang agents sa borland. sinubmit ko pa ang resume ko sa isang kakilala. may edge pa sana ako dun sa exam na puro essay. inansweran ko halos lahat kahit di ko masyadong alam ang concept. na-dedo yata ako dun dahil lumalabas na nag-gue-guess lang ako ng answers at mali mali ang pagkaintindi ko. totoo naman. although, hindi naman ako totally naghahangad na mag-work sa kanila, parang bruised lang yung ego ko na hindi na ko tinawagan after nung exam.

fifth sa ea games! wow! ea games! naisip ko agad playstation, psp, nintendo ds, at pc games. bigatin. na-excite akong isipin na eto na yung chance kong makagawa ng games. hmmm, pero nung pumunta ako sa office nila, di ko na-typean. maganda actually ang office pero yung mga tao parang hindi ko feel. at ang exam pa, mega hirap! pinag-code ba naman kami nung mga itoa at atoi functions at mga binary search tree functions. plus nagtanong pa about mga running time. gusto ko nang itigil actually. at nung sinabihan akong time na, well, ang saya ko. walang follow up call. ok lang. hindi masakit.

sixth sa isang japanese company. gusto ko dito! sobra! konti lang sila sa office pero napaka-homey. naalala ko yung vicon and nec. parang pinaghalo nung dalawa. maliit na japanese firm. mabait ang manager. obviously sa interview, gusto nila ako. may take home assignment daw for the next na evaluation. kinindatan pa ko nung HR na kayang kaya ko yun. team lead yung position at visual c++. naku, my skill sabi ko! nung inemail yung assignment, nag-panic ako! drag and drop mechanism between splitter windows! gosh! di ko na-implement ang drag and drop dati sa project. pano ko sya magagawa in one week??? humingi ako ng extension. binigay naman. lumampas pa rin ako ng ilang oras sa extended deadline. tumawag ang agent at sabi na inaantay nila ang assignment ko. lahat nakapag-submit na daw at ako actually ang kanilang gusto sana. buti na lang nagawa ko. hay, kaya ko palang i-implement ang drag and drop. but sad to say, hindi yata at par yung implementation ko sa ibang candidates. eh, pano ba naman? spaghetti yung code ko dahil sa kaka-trial and error ng mga mfc functions. :( eto medyo masakit. gusto ko sana yung company kahit alam kong di nila kayang tapatan ang benefits ko ngayon.

ang huli yung pinakagusto ko sa lahat. ang autodesk. dumaan ako sa matagal na screening. isang 1 hour phone interview tungkol sa project ko dati. grabeh ang pag-gisa sa kin. buti na lang nasagot ko lahat. next 1 and a half hour phone technical interview. ay, eto inisip ko baka di ako pumasa. super hirap. pero ini-schedule nila ako ng final screening which composed of three parts. hanggang first part lang ako. technical exam. meron multiple choice about c++ concepts, multiple choice about mfc, and determining the output ng c++ code. inisip ko baka mababa lang ako dun sa concepts and mfc kasi nakalimutan ko na. medyo confident ako sa code. pero baligtad ang kinalabasan. ang taas ng concepts at mfc ko. bagsak ako sa code! dun ako mega disappointed sa sarili ko. di ko inakala na ganun ko ka hindi nakuha yung mga outputs nung code. nakita ko yung mga tricky statements pero bumagsak pa rin ako? napaisip tuloy ako if tama ba yung answer sheet nila. kasi naman halimbawa yung operator- nila eh addition ang ginagawa sa loob. pero hindi ko tinry i-refute yun kasi baka isiping nagmamarunong lang ako. kahit yung manager medyo na-disappoint. ang taas daw ng expectations nila kasi ok yung first two screenings ko. at pinapapunta lang nila sa office nila for the final three parts ng screening pag sure na silang malaki ang chance na matatanggap. pero nakakatakot din actually ang second part nung tinanong ko kung ano yun. ang sabi eh design walkthrough. ngak! parang bibigyan yata ako ng design problem at i-so-solve on the spot. in a way, parang ok na rin kasi baka atakehin ako sa nerbiyos kung umabot ako dun. pero ang ganda dun sobra. may mga naka-shorts lang. yung iba mga 11am na dumating. ang autodesk ay isa sa 100 best employers in 2006 sa US. wear anything you want ang isa sa mga policies nila. handa na sana akong naka-casual dress parati. hehehe. nagawa pang magbiro kahit bigo! :(

hay, ayaw ko munang mag-apply. hindi na yata ako puede sa development. pero inisip ko in a way they all lost a potential very good employee. nag-trace ako nung lahat ng mga projects ko dati sa entire working life ko. wala akong boss na naging unsatisfied sa performance ko. nakapag-deliver ako ng mga software of high quality! naks! nagyabang. pero totoo naman. ang hirap lang talaga pala ng screening ng mga companies dito. actually lumulusot ako sa interview. pero pag may halong mega technical, medyo pumapalya na ako. kailangan ko na yatang mag-review. pagpatuloy ko pa ba ang development? or stick na lang ako dito sa validation?

sa bagay, maganda rin ang future ng validation. at siguro stick muna sandali dito sa kumpanya ko ngayon. nagiging mabait na sa akin ang boss ko. at pinaparinggan pa nya ako ng team lead role sa validation. ayan! yung mga nag-deny sa kin, ay wala, they lost what could have been a valuable engineer. sa susunod dapat nagtatawag sila nung references ko. or kahit dun sa mga dati kong managers or supervisors. medyo kampante ako na puro papuri ang maririnig nila except na lang siguro na distracting ang exotic na kagandahan ko! hehehe.

hahay ulit. kakapagod tong sobrang subsob sa trabaho. affected na rin ang social life ko. di ko na maatupag ang aking dearly beloved fwends. sa office, pinapaalis ko agad pag gustong makipag-chikahan. sorry janz and neil. i'll make it up next time. hahalikan ko kayo. di na rin ako makasama sa lunchout ng aking pinakamamahal na mag sweethearts. sorry sue and johnex. sama na ko ulit two weeks from now. hehehe. mahal ko pa rin naman kayo. at di ko na maatupag ang aking mga crush. nagkawatak watak na sila sa aking isipan! :p

depressing ang stress at ang ma reject ng maraming beses especially nung dalawang kumpanyang gusto ko. pero sige lang. hindi siguro talaga ako dun dapat.

it's time for plan b. ay plan c na lang pala! :)

-----
napahaba na nitong monologue ko. puede nang maging piece sa linggo ng wika! :p

mainit na talakayan

2007-08-23T23:28:00.000+08:00

a filipino writer had created quite a stir recently earning the ire of a lot of OFWs. i wanted to share my views as well about her distasteful articles, letters, and personality; but i read this blog and it says it all:

http://whatdowecare.blogspot.com/2007/08/regarding-malu-fernandez.html

i've heard of some who are not totally disagreeable to what she wrote, claiming that she has the right to pen her opinions. to this i say that everybody else has the right to judge her in turn.

and what a stir she'd indeed made. i'm not sure if this is her real public apology letter; but she surely reaped ugly consequences:

http://www.geocities.com/fernandez_malu

vanity is my favorite sin - the devil's advocate

2007-08-23T00:49:00.001+08:00

You Are 50% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence.
Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

nihon turipu apr 20: memoirs of a geisha

2007-08-22T23:42:00.001+08:00

i was already panicky! not paniki mind you. may kaitiman ako pero pasado pa rin ako sa pagiging angel because of my angelic nature naks! naalala ko lang kasi ang isang story that went:

a black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy. the baby asked, "does this mean i'm an angel?" to which the fairy laughed and said, "ambisyosa ka! paniki ka!"

hwek hwek hwek. anyways, before i chatter only nonsense here, let me go back to my japan account.

i was already panicky! it was already the 20th. i was 2 days away from going home. :( there were a gazillion things i still wanted to do! :( like:

1. go to koyasan and spend overnight in one of the buddhist temples, wake up at dawn and pray with the monks, and have vegetarian meals at a minimum whooping cost of 9,000 yen (lunok)
2. go to himeji castle, the biggest and most beautiful castle in japan (sigh)
3. go to odaiba, my favorite place in tokyo (sigh)
4. do some souvenir shopping (panic)
5. go back to nagaoka to say goodbye, beso-beso, and hug mae, danna, and rizza (sakit sa dibdib)
6. go back to kyoto and be a maiko or apprentice geisha for 2 hours for a minimum whooping cost of 6,500 yen (waaaahhhh)
7. go back to kyoto to visit fushimi inari

and the list can go on!

but i could only do one due to my limited time, depleting moolah, and reserved plans for the night and the remaining next day (ahem!). i really wanted to be a geisha. i was already prepared of withdrawing money from either my credit card or atm; but i thought against it because with the little time i had left, i wouldn't be able to enjoy my being a maiko for a day. balak ko talaga kasing maglakad sa daan at ibent ang aking mizuage. i was already imagining my sales pitch to handsome locals and foreigners:

sumimasen. mizuage o buy-shimasen ka? watashi no mizuage ha oishii desu. onegai shimasu! big discount if hansamuna hito ka!

hehehe. sa mga marunong mag nihongo jan, pasensya na. tagpi tagpi lang ang alam ko! :p

anyways, i decided of going to fushimi inari instead to trace the trail where sayuri of memoirs of the geisha ran. it was a good decision! grabeh!

the orange torii was everywhere in all sizes. this was where the child sayuri in the movie memoirs of a geisha ran through. i can't recall the exact scene, though. i tried to imitate the running of sayuri but everytime i finish setting up my camera on a tripod and go inside the torii, people would be appearing from everywhere. eh, mahiyain ako so i ended up with half baked acting. di puedeng maging artista si emman.

the place was very big that i spent almost 2 hours there roaming around. well, torii galore lang naman ang meron dun but i still found it mesmerizing.

after sa pag-career ko ng pagiging photographer and model at the same time from all the photo shoots, i surveyed the neighborhood restaurants to sample their local dishes. i passed by one restaurant to the next contemplating on having an unagi don (eel meal or ill meal if u don't like it hehehe) because i haven't eaten one yet. i ended up in a restaurant at the middle of the lined restaurants just because the very old lady who was there smiled at me. her unagi don was more expensive than the ones in the other restaurants i passed by; but my heart melted to the old lady's, somehow, imploring smile. there weren't any customers kasi sa restaurant nya. but good thing was, i wasn't disappointed with my first ever taste of eel. :)

from osaka then to fushimi inari, kyoto, i was then headed to tokyo. it was really a blessing that i had a japan railway pass. it allowed me to travel great distances in a few hours only via shinkansen or bullet train.

eto ang babaeng walang pahinga

dahil sa sobrang nasanay na sa lamig, nainitan na ko during lunch time. confi na ulit mag sleeveless si emman kaya ang mga haponeses ay nakatingin sa akin. i was actually walking like that in fushimi inari. ;)

when i arrived at tokyo at night, i met up with lily ann, lloyd, and tess at the tokyo tower.

and dinner with the friendships, tokyo edition: lily, lloyd, jay, tess, and grace. thanks guys for the hospitality and wonderful company. (singhot, hikbi)

after whole day of travelling and good night of dinner and chatter with the friendships, i went home to the open arms of a disco bar and partied all night until the wee hours of dawn with who else? abangan na lang sa apr 21 story! :p

the filipino name generator

2007-08-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

dongky sent to the friendships mailing list this funny filipino name generator. he included in the email the "equivalent" filipino name of my name. :p

Emmanuel Villaceran (M) - Manuel Allan Pangarap Callangan
Emmanuel Villaceran (F) - Evangeline Pilar Little Flower Quililan

tama bang may Male at Female version ang name ko???? wala bang girlalou? hehehe. medyo swak sa akin ang name ng Male kasi mahilig akong mangarap. at hindi rin nalalayo sa pagiging true ang Female version kasi may tinatago akong little flower! wehehehe.

hmmm, what if i change my name according to the name generator's suggestion? ma-try nga ang iba't ibang combinations. and makapili alin ang super duper swak sa personality ko. :D

Emman Villaceran (F) - Evangeline Pilar Little Flower Quililan
Emman Villaceran (M) - German Allan Pangarap Callangan
emms villaceran (F) - Estrella Pilar Little Flower Quililan
emms villaceran (M) - German Allan Pangarap Callangan
emmanuel pescador villaceran (F) - Evangeline Xalbadora Little Flower Quililan
emmanuel pescador villaceran (M) - Manuel Pedring Pangarap Callangan
emman pescador villaceran (F) - Evangeline Xalbadora Little Flower Quililan
emman pescador villaceran (M) - German Pedring Pangarap Callangan
emms pescador villaceran (F) - Estrella Xalbadora Little Flower Quililan
emms pescador villaceran (M) - German Pedring Pangarap Callangan

for sure ayokong maging pedring at pilar. mapili na nga ang evangeline xalbadora little flower quililan. just call me little flower for short. kasi makipot ako! har har har! :p

try it out at http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/6547/

nihon turipu apr 19: let there be peace and party afterwards!

2007-08-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

at this point of my travel tale, i won't post the map of japan anymore to show where i went next because from this day until i went home, i only had to go back to a few places that i'd been to before.

like the previous day, emman was up at around 5 am. you can conclude by now that the place i was staying for two nights is a place that closes and shoos away their customers at 5 in the morning!

here's a blurred photo i took of an otherwise bustling hakata city had it been later than 5 am.

at past 7 am, i was headed back to hiroshima. i was there two days before but had to go back for two reasons: the a-bomb dome and the best okonomiyaki.

i got to the peace memorial park, where the a-bomb or atomic bomb dome still stands as the symbol of hiroshima city, at around 9 am. i only took pictures of the place, its structures and symbols with nary me in them because aside from being too exhausted from having less than 5 hours sleep and walking for 30 minutes from the train station to the park, it just didn't feel right to be posing ala-beauty queen flashing a fake smile and voluptuous body. :p i felt that the place which was nearly wiped out by the atomic bomb had to be "felt" and reflected on. yeah, i had some drama moments there.

being there also amazed me at how the japanese citizens are the number one tourists of their own country. it was early in the morning but there were groups of school children and groups of adults touring around, examining the surroundings, and seriously talking about what they see.

aside from the a-bomb dome, hiroshima is famed for its okonomiyaki. i already had a yoshinoya breakfast. despite being full, i still had to have a taste of the okonomiyaki which was cooked right in front of me! waaahhhh, i just had a mistake of saying yes when the cook asked me if i wanted soba or udon. i really thought that that was a basic ingredient to the dish. grrrr! it turned out to be an add-on. i ended up paying more and having a 3/4 of the original size leftover! but it was worth it! yummy!

after hiroshima, i went all the way back to osaka to meet my gracious and beauteous osaka host, lola kay, and three other gorgeous lasses, lola idel, lola rose, and lola anna mae. unfortunately, lola idel was sick and lola rose allowed herself to be enslaved by her boss in ways i cannot imagine! hehehe. so the three girls, moi, kay, and anna mae, had ramen in a ramen house with a cute guy whom we kept calling for water, soy sauce, more orders, and what nots! but he would send another guy instead to do our bidding! grrrr... and the fun part of our dinner was talking in japanese to the guy asking for their part time job! he was smitten right then and there by us ladies! :p

afterwards, us ladies went down to an empty bar and danced until past 11pm. and it was a thursday night! para kaming mga baliw sumasayaw sa dance floor na kaming tatlo lang! but it was fun beyond craziness! ;)

idel nikuyog unta ka! naka-harvat mi didto girl! :p

nihon turipu apr 18: going dutch

2007-08-20T23:02:00.000+08:00

at 5 am i was already out in the streets of hakata. i had a glimpse of how southern japan's metropolis feels like at the break of dawn in springtime. it felt cold but not indifferent. it felt serene despite the concrete structures that surrounded me. or maybe it just felt wonderful to be fully awake at 5am, solitary in streets that are bustling during daytime.

ang nasabi ko talaga: wow! ang aga ni emman! :)

when i got to hakata station, i also saw some disturbing scenes. the train station was littered with vagrants sleeping on boxes laid on cold floor. the exploratory nature in me actually had a crazy thought of trying it out myself in the coming night: sleeping on the floor at one of the nooks in the train station just to have a feel of it, to experience it; but seeing a police officer harass one of the homeless and the latter fighting back to get more sleep, i reprimanded myself for thinking of such silly thoughts. i should be feeling compassion for those people instead of feeling adventurous. well, that's contrast for you. japan, despite its affluence, cannot shelter everyone.

i stayed at mister donut for over an hour waiting for the train station to start operating. in 2 hours time, i was already aboard a rapid train going to huis ten bosch, the farthest i got to southward during my solo trip in japan.

since the south was the warmest part of japan at that time, i changed into something daring. hehehe. i wore a sleeveless shirt, my pajama-like trousers with leg warmers underneath, a pair of violet toe socks, and slippers. yeah, nabuang si emman for a while. when i got off a the huis ten bosch train station, ay naku, it was the coldest ever, as in EVER during my trip there. it was raining hard and i think huis ten bosch was on higher altitude. so emman changed again. this time full gear. i had layers of clothes! sleeveless shirt underneath a long sleeve shirt underneath a jacket underneath a trench coat! asa ka ana! :p

since it was raining, i bought an umbrella. when i set off towards the huis ten bosch park, ay naku, i knew that the rain and strong wind wouldn't deter me from exploring the whole place. the place was spectacular! it was a true dutch sight!

below is the huis ten bosch palace which is a replica of netherland's queen beatrix' palace. huis ten bosch, by the way, means house in the forest.

the goddess and her windmills.

gosh! the most expensive solo meal of my life! but it was all worth it: beef steak, strawberry white chocolate mousse, sparkling wine, and all!

an aerial view of huis ten bosch. how did i take it? i flew of course! :p nah, it was taken in the tallest building there which was a clock tower.

huis ten bosch wasn't just dutch structures and flowers. it was an amusement park at the same time. i went into a lot of museums including a teddy bear museum and a bell museum. there were also some virtual shows. the most unforgettable one was a galactic virtual show where the audience are participants themselves in the movie. before the show, we had our faces scanned. we were not allowed to smile or make any funny or weird faces. so emman, instead, made a maldita face by raising her left eyebrow.

movie time, i was looking what character i portrayed. and my ging gang gooly goodness gracious! my face appeared as one of the guardians/defenders/warriors of that galactic story! ang masakit ay lalaki ang role ko! waaaahhhh! at ang mas masakit pa, yung katabi kong hapon na lalaki ay babae sya sa movie! nakasaya sya! gosh! pero buti na lang leader kunyari ako nung tropa ng mga warriors! and in the end i saved the day! charing! :p yeah, being a guardian was better than those other roles na receiver or other ek-ek na puro chika lang ang ginawa during the entire movie, while my face was careening here and there in the screen aboard a motorcycle like vehicle that flies. i was pursuing the enemies and trying to save the entire galaxy! o diva! hehehe.

huis ten bosch is one place tourists shouldn't miss. you'll get a glimpse of europe. plus there are lots of fun things to do there. oh there was also an open zoo nearby where one could feed the animals roaming around. mga deers na naman! but there were other animals. i wasn't able to go because it was raining damn hard! at least i'll have reason to go back! teehee! :p

when i went back to hakata at night, i was dead tired that i slept right away in.... hmmm... wherever :p

ay ewan ko sayo!

2007-08-20T21:40:00.000+08:00

minsan masyado na yata akong nagiging assuming. dahil may ginawa lang ako para sa iba, iniisip ko na gagawin din nila sa akin ang kagaya ng ginawa ko! hmph to him! and hmph to myself na rin for expecting too much!

pero tuloy pa rin ako! i'm sure i'll have a grand time with the others! phuket here i come once again!

ma-inggit ka na lang maging sino ka man! hmph! sumama ka dun sa kanya sa bangkok! grrr...

small world phenomenon: the emman connection

2007-08-03T00:08:00.001+08:00

i'm enjoying recalling all the small world moments i've had since i started living in singapore. i have so many tales to tell. i remember even writing that singapore has become my island. recently, janz even told me that i can run for public office and win. well, we'll see. :p

there's just one experience i want to relay. being connected with me in one way or another has benefits of great magnitude! charing!

once, a friend of alvin, my hunk of a housemate, was lost in singapore. not really lost as to direction but lost in a sense that she did not know what to do.

she was at a place where she was scared to be although it wasn't really scary at all; but being new and alone in singapore for the first time, it's understandable. her only contact was alvin's house number. our house number. she didn't have any other numbers of her other friends.

she called up our house and was a bit panicky already with her situation. she needed someone to fetch her from where she was. hindi sa pag-bubuhat ng sarili kong silya but it was a good thing i was in the house when she called up. alvin's mobile was unreachable. sue, stan, and johnny didn't know her. hermes' and chrismael's numbers were unreachable as well. and i didn't have the numbers of her other friends.

well, emman thought. it's time to pull out the friendster connection list! hehehe. i recalled being introduced to one of my friend from nsp, cha's friend, juvy, whom i met one time with joan, the friend of alvin and who also happens to be a friend of the friend of alvin who was lost! ang daming friend! hehehe. so i got joan's number through juvy whose number i got from cha! friendster.com! :p and so she was fetch by her friends after i was able to call up joan!

emman saved the day! it pays to be connected with emman! wehehehe. :p

if you need something may it require to be done in africa, new zealand, tahiti or wherever, just call me! my fees are.... priceless!!! :p

small world phenomenon: better than ezra

2007-08-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

i loved two songs from better than ezra: desperately wanting and good. but this post is not about those songs or about the band. this is about my newfound hunk and handsome of a friend going by the monicker of ezra! naks! magiging feeling na yun if mabasa nya to! kaka-add ko pa lang naman sa kanya sa multiply! :p hehehe

ez, huminahon ka. it's not all about you, promise. it's all about how the world has conspired for us to get together in the most extraordinarily small world way! :p charing! this post is, rather, about the thing that is better than ezra. it's the small world phenomenon that connects us.

i met ezra during my flight back to singapore january of this year. he was one of the flight attendants of cebu pacific. he looked very familiar. i didn't mind him, though, despite his good looks (charing! ayan guapo ka na ha. gibaligya jud taka ser) because i contented myself with thoughts that he was probably a schoolmate in college. besides i was to engrossed with some other being in my mind at that time. then out of nowhere he came up to me and said "emmanuel villaceran?". aba! full name basis ito!

i was surprised. and he narrated a litany of things that connect us! what amazed me was he knows a lot of things about me and i didn't even know what his name was! hehehe. (sorry ez, i really had a bad memory). he said we were schoolmates in high school. he went to our house once since his mother was of the same province as my father. and the shocking thing was his ex-girlfriend was the daughter of my mother's friend in the states. and that he knew that i met his ex-girlfriend in 2005! gosh! stalker ba ito? hehehe.

anyways, i thought it would end there. but i was wrong.

yesterday, my new officemate janz who used to work in nsp told me that israel sent his regards to me. he said israel is staying at the house where he is staying since his housemate is israel's friend.

yes. israel is ezra!

earlier ezra called me up to meet with him. he said he was bringing along the friend whom he's staying with, janz' housemate. tantantararan! when i met him, his friend lutchie looked familiar! she's the one whom i saw regularly near our place in cebu! ang liit na ng mundo ko talaga!

all throughout our dinner i found out that ezra is not just my schoolmate in high school but he used to be my classmate in elementary!!!! gosh! hindi ko talaga maalala ser! sowee... hehehe... he even described that i was a silent boy/girl/gay back then! kaya naging best in deportment! hehehe. he even remembered where i was sitting and who was sitting in front of me! gosh! nakakatakot na! stalker na talaga ito! hahaha... joke lang.... bilib lang ako sa memory ni ezra! and i felt envious that my classmates in elementary had a mini reunion at his house recently!

ang tanda ko na talaga. i don't recall any of them anymore including ez. hehehe.... sorry ser... sana i made it up with the mega dinner na napilitan kang kainin! hehehe. :p

it was a fun night! and looking forward to see you again! ;)

it's raining money in japan

2007-07-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

the japanese people never fail to amaze me (like how i never fail to amaze them hehehe). read on:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070729/lf_afp/lifestylejapancharitymysteryoffbeat_070729023457

i'm amazed at how someone has been giving away his money. and i'm even more amazed at how the benefactors are reacting!

if this was happening in the philippines... well, i really can't imagine either! the japanese will be amazed at us! hehehe :p

hay sana umulan ng pera para maging mayaman na lang ako!

nihon turipu apr 17: dear deers

2007-07-19T00:29:00.000+08:00

finally, i get to continue it. :D sowee mga fans! hehehe...

early morning of april 17, i was dreaming of him. ngak, wrong entry! i think i woke up at around 9 on that day. i remember leaving around 10 in the morning to head to osaka station for my three day solo tour at hiroshima and hakata.

it was a 2 and a half plus hours by shinkansen from osaka to hiroshima. i was placed in a "silent car" part of the shinkansen. no announcement could be heard in that car so i had to be alert everytime the train stopped at a station. i was seated next to a not so bad looking nihon-jin. hehehe. i was sooooo hungry but i didn't eat because when i tried to open my plastic bag of karaage and rice, i had to desist. i was making too much noise! everybody was sleeping. i had to remember i was in a silent car. aside from making the plastic noise, the smell of the fried chicken was too "loud" in itself! poor me i had to eat the remaining tortilla chips that my ever beloved japanese ex-boss gave me as baon.

since i went too late to hiroshima, i skipped going to the a-bomb site and headed instead to miyajima island, one of the famed three most scenic spots in japan. the torii in the ocean made this island famous.

when i set foot on the island, huwow, i was mega happy despite my grumbling and complaining stomach. (i still hadn't eaten breakfast and lunch during the trip save for the tortilla chips) deers where everywhere. they were roaming around eating everything in their path! i saw some signs warning us to keep watch of our belongings as the deers eat paper, plastics, and clothes! and trulili, i saw a group of them dear deers snatching from a lady her paper bag. after they got it, all deers got their share of good food! hehehe.

and don't ever think that i didn't have my own exciting deer encounters. remember, i was hungry. i went to sit on a bench in front of the sea. i made sure no deer was in 50 meters proximity. after seeing that the deers were quite far, i began to unpack my food excited to bite and chew and swallow while looking at the sea in that lovely spring sea breeze. after two bites or so at my chicken, a deer was running towards me and my plastic bag! waaaahhhh!!! he bit my map! grrrr... i had to stuff all my food into the plastic bag (take note: not into the food container anymore) along with my drinks and tissue! i ran away. the deer actually followed me a few steps!

and i thought they were endearing! next i found me another bench. just when i opened my plastic bag, two deers had their ears pointing at my direction along with their eyes and noses! ahhh, i had to leave. i was walking around trying to find where there were no deers! but my ging gang gooly goodness gracious, they were everywhere like pokpoks in the streets of geylang singapore! i was becoming agitated by then. i trekked a hill going to somewhere (i forgot... hehehe... cable car perhaps). while going up i still noticed some deers feeding on grass in very steep slopes. and then i found a haven! a solitary open cottage with no one around. and no deers! finally! i settled there and was undisturbed halfway through my meal when all of a sudden a deer was coming towards my direction.

my gaaaaaadddddd!!! i screamed at the deer, lubayan nyo ako!!!! this time, i didn't run away. i stood my ground. or rather, i sat my high chair! hehehe. the deer was intent on approaching me. but thanks to having read "the life of pi", i learned how to control the animal. i looked at it straight in the eye. without batting an eyelash i continued eating. everytime the deer averted its eyes, i followed his gaze. the deer started to make some deer noises through its nose. i started to growl like an offspring of a polar bear and monkey. why polar bear and monkey? my confidence was as large and beautiful as the polar bear while my sound was as funny as a monkey. oh oh ah ah grrrr. it went on for about 3 minutes until the deer relented, turned back, and walked away defeated, and hungry perhaps. i was successful! yipeee!!! i was an official animal tamer! :p

after my sweet victory against one big menacing deer and after finishing my meal, i traipsed the island from its high of highs to its low of lows. :)

the five storey pagoda.

looking towards the famed itsukushima shrine.

and getting friendly with a deer. :p

after miyajima island, i boarded the shinkansen going to hakata. weeeee... i was finally going to kyushu! i've heard so many good things about it including handsome and accommodating guys! ahem! hehehe. this is where my ultimate challenge in finding accommodation took place. i couldn't find one!

i stayed at starbucks for an hour asking questions about cheap accommodations. it was nearing 12 midnight. i was already intent of staying there for the whole night but i was so dead tired that i needed sleep. waaahhh. good thing i had my notes about hattenbas in kyushu. hihihi. that was an exciting day. and night! :p

and i thought i would never be able to give a lengthy account of this day. pasalamat ako kay deer at may naikuento pa rin ako! hehehe. :p

till next time! mwah!

to be continued...

2007-07-16T23:52:00.000+08:00

due to public demand... by one person... i'm going to continue blogging... but tomorrow na... hehehe... i'm sleepy na eh...

i have to continue na talaga my japan account... absent lang sa blogging coz i've been extremely busy juggling work life, social life, work life, household life, work life, love life (asa pa), work life, sex life (az if! wag maging ilusyunada... virgin ka pa noh!), work life, and did i mention work life? :p

yeah, tomorrow i'll have something :)

good night! i love you... ALL! MWAH!

mahal kita

2007-07-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

...masarap pakinggan lalo na kapag galing sa bibig ng isang banyaga...

i like your eyes

2007-06-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

i like your eyes
they penetrate into me
like a pussycat's claws
deep and probing
painful yet blissful

i like your eyes
they speak the truth
like they're sweet lies

i like your eyes
i'm had with their mere stare

--------
a silly poem written on the spot at the MSN window when a friend's photo is that of a pussycat... weeee... i miss japan! :p

regret

2007-06-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

i was hurt. very hurt. i didn't know if i would be able to get through the pain of losing him. for there was only him. and no one else. yet i had to let go. it was the only way to save myself from further pain. letting go is always the only way to free ourselves from things that we bind ourselves with like unrequited love.

i had to find someone else. i had to have a savior. i had to give myself to someone else.

yes, i found someone else. someone whom i asked to promise me many things. like undying devotion and untarnished love. i made this someone promise me to take care of me. so, i gave myself and my all to this new someone.

but now i regret giving myself to this someone who promised me the world. this someone's promises of taking good care of me and my body along with my reckless surrender bore me something i never expected. something i never wanted.

it is starting to show. no matter how hard i tried to hide it, people are taking notice. i never thought that the heartache which started six months ago would bring about something unwanted through the redeeming promises of someone else whom i came to depend on during the painful nights of recollection.

now i regret for having allowed my supposed savior to keep his promises.

my tummy is getting bigger. everybody's noticing.

i shouldn't have talked myself into meticulously taking care of my health more because my idea of taking care of myself more was feeding myself more and more. i'm getting fatter. i look like i'm 2 months pregnant. arrrggghhh... i shouldn't have asked MYSELF to promise MYSELF to eat really really delicious food and eat plenty and plenty of them!

it's better to vent out your heartaches to others, strangers included. because if you depend solely on yourself in dealing with it, you'll either eat or not eat.

now i have a big tummy! waaaaaahhhhhh!!!

hehehe... para lang may maisulat! weeeeeee... :p

more about dolphin hunting in japan

2007-06-19T18:47:00.000+08:00

a friend already had a post about this early this year due to an article in the japan times. it was futo, japan that i referred to in the previous post as the remaining fishing village that continues the mass capture and slaughter of dolphins. and if i'm not mistaken, it was ric o'barry who was featured in the national geographic show i watched last night spearheading the fight to stop this dolphin genocide in the country.

to quote ric o'barry in the article:

I captured about 100 dolphins myself, back in the 1960s, including the five that played Flipper. I changed when Flipper died in my arms from suicide. I use that word with some trepidation, but I don’t know another word that describes self-induced asphyxiation. Dolphins and other whales are not automatic breathers. Every breath they take is a conscious effort, which is why they don’t sleep. If life becomes miserable, they just don’t take the next breath. Flipper looked me in the eye and stopped breathing.

read the entire article at:

http://ideru.kansaiblogger.com/2007/02/23/dolphins/

spread the word in any way you can. through your blogs, for example. the japanese public just needs to be aware because, apparently, they are not.

japan and dolphins

2007-06-19T01:35:00.000+08:00

i originally planned on posting about what i did on april 17 in japan; however, while watching a national geographic episode earlier about dolphin hunting in japan, i began to lose interest in the country.

graphic photographs and videos of hundreds of dolphins (mostly bottle-nose) being caught and slaughtered en masse were shown. you'd hate the country for it especially when the government gave permits to the fishermen to do the hunting and killing and when the village folks would defend such acts citing that it's part of their country's tradition. the sorriest thing is that the income for dolphin meat is not one too big and substantial to make the country rich.

good thing i didn't abandon the tv early for feeling so grossed out with the cruelty and graphic images. the practice of mass hunting and killing of dolphins in japan is becoming history. over the years, the fishing villages that practised this had, one by one, stopped doing it. if i'm not mistaken, only one fishing village is left still doing it. i'm not sure if it's true until now. i stopped watching in the middle of the show actually.

that's good news already. thanks to the few people who fought to stop such animal cruelty, i can continue writing about my japan trip and loving the country as well. everybody deserves second chances! ;)

celebrity kiss

2007-06-08T10:41:00.000+08:00

it's in my list of things to do in my life: to kiss a celebrity!

i didn't know that i already did! :p

visit www.ogs.jp for some clues! :p

that's one thing-to-do ticked off my list! :D

nihon turipu apr 16: the oldies went to the old town

2007-06-05T00:03:00.000+08:00

on a miraculous monday morning, emman woke up at around 7 am! i was very excited for this day. i was headed to a high mountain where an old town is nestled. i was headed to takayama all by myself.

the trip took more than 4 hours. i had to make a brief stop at nagoya. i asked from a tourist information staff what i could do for about 30 minutes in nagoya. she laughed and just pointed me towards a new building. since i didn't have enough time to tour the city, she suggested i just look at the newest building in town! fine!

i just photographed this structure in the middle of the road instead. at least i could say i was in nagoya! :p

i made it to takayama at past 2. i think. hehehe. i forgot already! :p that's what i get for postponing this entry too long. that's what you get for not pestering me enough to continue my japan trip account! :p

after a quick meal of bland ramen, i set off to hida folk village which is an open museum of old houses of japan of yore. dazzling!

actually, the houses, including the smell indoors, reminded me of the houses we had in my province, bantayan island. it reminded me of the warm scent of burnt wood. there were just plenty of woods everywhere! hehehe.

it was during that time that i unleashed my full potential as a supermodel. you know how supermodels are. they should be capable and willing to do any poses, to take on any character, whether they like it or not. in this picture, i was forced by some unexplainable outer entity to pose like a man. i found out about this when i saw the picture. it's quite a shot really! i'm so supermodel like! go me! never mind the manly profile. it's just make up and camera trick. behind that is the face of an angelic girlalou! :p supermodel talaga! :p

i had plenty shots of myself. good thing the oldies i toured with were nonchalant to my running around whenever i setup my camera on a tripod, set the timer, and posed like nobody's watching. or were they? they could be passing by eyeing me with peripheral vision! hehehe.

yeah, the old town was, i guess, more frequented by the oldies. that's what i saw. not a single kiddo was there. i was the only youngster there. that's why i felt so seventeen! :p

after spending 2 hours or so at the hida folk village, i went back to the town proper. i had only 1 hour left to tour the old town. gosh! you could run in the streets of takayama without getting run by a car! what car??? there were only a few cars!

the streets were people-less except for tourists and some shop vendors! at 6 pm, the shops started to close! waaahhh! there was no night life there! hehehe. but it was a very serene town. i just wondered how the businesses there thrive.

actually, that saturday, apr 14, they had their annual spring festival where they had floats of some kinds. the hotels were full according to my source: the internet. i was supposed to go there on saturday but my boyfriend, ahem (inangkin na hehehe), left me confused with my schedule. read my previous posts for it! :p

the following picture shows the old houses of the edo period (samurai samurai ek ek yata to) that still stand up to this day. they didn't look really old to me but they certainly were.

the sakuras were beautiful there too.

the trip back to osaka took another 4 hours plus. i was onboard the trains for 8 hours. i only toured takayama for about 4 hours. ah, i should have stayed overnight but i was having moolah concerns already at that time! :(

hay, i want to go there again! :( the place was very serene. so me: serene diva! :p if you should go to japan, this is a must-go-to place. the old town and hida folk village are not for the oldies alone. it's for youngsters as well. take it from the seventeen year old (feeling) supermodel who had most of the best shots of her trip taken there! :p

takayama can surely provide you with a drama setting! :p

sharing with a stranger

2007-05-31T23:35:00.000+08:00

ever thought how easy it is sometimes to share our thoughts, secrets, and problems with a stranger than with someone we know?

and since we can't just pull a stranger out of the street to share our stories with anytime, a virtual stranger might just be an alternative.

if you want to talk with someone with full anonymity, you can share your stories with the blogger otikins. visit her at http://otikinspirationline.blogspot.com/

the small world phenomenon series

2007-05-30T01:22:00.000+08:00

i started my memoirs of a "gay sya" series due to memorable gay experiences. my own and my friends'. i failed to realize before that i could have started another series, and that is the small world phenomenon. i've had posts about it before pero parang ordinary posts lang of experiences that made me go "whaaaatttt???" "my gaaaaaaadddddddddd" "grabeeeeeeeeeee" "ang liit ng mundoooooooo" "aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" "ohhhhhhhhhhhh". hmm, ignore the last two. i think those expressions should have another series of their own! hehehe.

due to two small world phenomenon events recently, i'm going to start this new series. it seems like the world is closing in on me. ang dami nang small world events na nangyari sa akin dito sa singapore. i will write about them in the coming days. di muna ngayon kasi antok na. hehehe.

but to remind me and to give out some hints as well, the first recent experience had something to do with elton john. the second one had something to do with my company and my search for a new home! :D

abangan! ;)

p.s. the nihon trip account will be continued soon enough. kailangan lang matulog ngayon! ;)

nihon turipu apr 15: kyoto cute cute

2007-05-22T23:19:00.000+08:00

i'd been waiting for this day! kyoto! being the old capital of japan, it holds many attractions: UNESCO world heritage sites, castles, temples, shrines, the geisha district, the loveliest sakuras during spring, the flame-coloured leaves of trees during autumn, and handsome guys! :D the latter i discovered when i got there!

in fact, when my trip was coming to an end, i told my friends, in retrospect, that kyoto had the most number of handsome guys! osaka and tokyo came in close second and third, respectively! :p it was probably because kyoto was smaller and the guys were concentrated in the central district where tourists went around, where i roamed around. plus there are two big universities there. so there were handsome students. and handsome tourists. but i was a beautiful tourist, mind you! :p

i will only relate two handsome experiences. hehehe. they were those that lasted in my memory. the first was when kay and i boarded a bus going to kinkakuji temple. the bus was packed; but at the back was a student sitting on one seat while his bag was also sitting on the seat beside him. he was actually not friendly at all! people were standing yet he didn't offer the seat where his bag was placed to anyone. he didn't budge even if people were looking at him, even if kay and i were talking beside him about him! well, we were talking in the vernacular so he never understood our backstabbing! hehehe. but he was handsome as hell, and heaven too! hahaha. good thing kay was sitting. i was standing but i didn't allow my bitchy side to ask him if his bag paid for the seat. i was cool because i wanted to stay standing so i could talk with kay. but my bitchy side had to surface. when a lady boarded the bus and had no railing to hold on to, i finally asked the handsome-yet-inconsiderate japanese student to stuff himself into his bag! hehehe. no, i simply asked him if he could give the seat to the lady. he threw his bag to the floor without looking up at me then vacated his seat for the lady. right then and there, he fell in love with me. that i'm very sure of. i knew when kay and i got off the bus, he was thinking of me. he would be thinking of me for the entire day, seething with anger at the humiliation i caused him. then at night i'm sure he dreamt of me. i'm sure he'd remember me for eternity! weeeee!!! :D

the next handsome experience was when kay, idel, and i had our dinner in a traditional ramen stall. i was super duper tired so when we sat on the stools at the stall, i sighed the deepest sigh of relief of my life! then the ramen guy, in all his colorful slow-motion handsomeness, exclaimed with glittering eyes that spelt love and tender loving care "tsukaretta?". what else did the awestruck emman say but "hai. aruite forever" hahahaha. ramen guy just smiled while idel and kay broke into a boisterous laughter. aruite forever! :p i didn't know the japanese of forever ne! pardon me ne! at least after that, ramen guy kept stealing glances at me! oh diva? :p

here's the ramen that ramen guy gave me. oh ramen guy, you were so delicious, este ramen pala! :p

below is a UNESCO world heritage, the ginkakuji temple or silver pavilion. it wasn't as appealing as i thought it would be, actually.

and below the kinkakuji temple or gold pavilion, another UNESCO world heritage. this one blew kay and i away.

the sakuras were indeed lovely in kyoto. i loved this one. the flowers hung like pearls from above. they dangled like earrings made of pink tears from heaven. wow! enough puwetic, este, poetic already!

we just had to pass by gion. i watched and read memoirs of a geisha and i just had to be at gion! we were only able to spot a geisha from afar but we were too tired to keep our lookout or even run after one should we have spotted one. i heard they'd scurry away if foreigners tried to take pictures of them. so there was no use. i contented myself being at the street and looking at the traditional geisha tea houses.

ahhhh. but i had to have some proof that i was really in gion! this was what i first took! hahaha. the japanese passersby were laughing at me! they must have thought who would want to have a souvenir shot of a pachinko center (slot machines game center)??? well, i had to have proof you know that i was really there! :p

ahhh... we were dead tired by the time we got back to osaka. kay suffered from muscle pains the next day. but we loved our tour! the guys were cute. hehehe. what we ate tasted cute. what we saw were cute. kyoto was a cute place! hehehe.

but there was one thing i wasn't able to do there which i planned on doing: becoming a maiko or apprentice geisha for a few hours. i was willing to pay up to 6,500 yen. aside from not knowing which shop to go to, we didn't have much time. well, this would be one reason why i should go back!

ahhhh, the handsome guys will go gaga over me when i become a maiko. how much should i charge for my mizuage? probably, i'll beat sayuri! read or watch the memoirs of the geisha folks! you'll want to go to kyoto after that :)

memoirs of a "gay sya": dyke sya

2007-05-22T18:16:00.000+08:00

conscious ang paglalakad ng isang girlalou. mabagal at mahinhin pero alam mong conscious. dahil na rin siguro sa bago nyang hairstyle. maiksi. kulay brown na may highlights na blond. hindi naman sya mukhang igorota, ang kinatatakutan nyang itsura kapag sya ay nagpakulay ng buhok. papunta sya sa kanyang hairstylist.

hairstylist: antayin mo na lang ako sa labas.

girlalou: o sige.

umalis si girlalou para ikot ikot habang antayin ang kaibigang hairstylist na nagkulay ng kanyang buhok.

boss ng hairstylist: is your friend a lesbian?

hairstylist: huwahahaha. you should tell that to her when she's here lor!

boss ng hairstylist: she looks like a girl who tries to be a boy.

hairstylist: wahahaha.

dahil na siguro sa pagiging conscious sa sarili nya at naging awkward ang mga kilos ni girlalou. ok na rin. at least nasabihang babae si girlalou. besides, patok ang mga lesbiana sa pantasya ng mga lalaki!

j & j

2007-05-18T13:18:00.000+08:00

not johnson's and johnson's mind you! :p but jackie and jet as in jackie chan and jet li. ;)

i grew up watching jackie chan. my favorite movie of his was snake in the eagle's shadow. i couldn't forget the scene where jackie chan witnessed a fierce fight between a cat and a cobra. he and his master being users of snake kung-fu couldn't win against the antagonist who was an eagle kung-fu user. since eagle ang gamit ng kalaban nila, nililipad-liparan lang sila while nasa lupa lang sila. eagle against snake nga! eh prey ng eagle ang snake di ba? upon witnessing that the cat was winning against the cobra, jackie chan studied the cat moves and eventually used it against the eagle kung-fu bad guy. the claws of the cat won against the talons of the eagle; however, in the final scenes when the bad guy was about to be killed, jackie chan used the cobra style. perfect combination! :p

on the other hand, i became fond of jet li's once upon a time in china series when i was in high school; however, i found his legendary fighters of china to be the best. (hmmm, i think the movie title legendary fighters of china was only used in the philippines. it might be different in other areas.) i liked it a lot kasi naman yung kalaban dun (originally totoong lalaki) upon getting hold of the forbidden magic scroll gradually became a woman. :D can relate di ba? hehehe :p he was powerful and invincible until he fell in love with jet li's wong fei hung character. his transformation into a woman was completed when he fell in love. it's ironic that something as beautiful as love can be the cause of someone's downfall. well, in a way ganyan din yata sa totoong buhay. hehehe. talo na sana nya lahat ang mga bida. tsk tsk tsk. hehehe. in a way kumampi ako dun sa kontrabida (nung naging babae na sya) kasi i was amazed at her powers. imagine, nakaupo lang sya at nananahi while ung mga bida (around 5 kasama si jet li) ay iwas ng iwas sa malaking palayok na tinapon nya sa kanila at sa mga maliliit na karayom na ihinihagis nya sa kanila. o diva? divang diva! di man lang sya pinagpawisan habang ang mga bida ay walang tigil sa pag talon talon at lipad lipad sa pag-iwas ng kanyang kapangyarihan! viva talaga! :p

so what about j and j? there's good news! they have a movie together titled the forbidden kingdom. it crossed my mind many times before if there would come a time that two of my kung fu idols would ever come together on scree. and they have! read about it here: http://mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp/entertainment/news/20070517p2a00m0et012000c.html.

weeeeee!!!

i'm a sucker for kung-fu movies. no matter how old the movies are basta may talon talon at lipad lipad, i'll be glued to the screen.

hay, gusto ko rin palang maging kung-fu fighter ala chun li of streetfighter! :p

pangarap

2007-05-18T12:58:00.000+08:00

after years of contemplating what i want to do with my life, eto na. alam ko na!!!

gusto kong maging supermodel!!!

seriousness!

bakit?

2007-05-18T01:41:00.000+08:00

kahapon at ngayon marami ang ipinaparamdam sa akin. tsk tsk tsk.

i love elliott's song! can relate kasi eh! :p

hahay.

wait for you by elliott yamin

2007-05-18T01:33:00.000+08:00

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me

Don't leave me crying.

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.

AI elimination patterns

2007-05-18T01:00:00.000+08:00

the top 4 eliminations had had a history of shocking results. season 1's tamyra gray started it out and probably started the pattern. she was a favorite of the judges and was constantly called a superstar whose star quality was compared to big names such as whitney houston and celine dion. then there was season 3's la toya london going home on this round after stellar performances showcasing disco music. and the biggest shocker of all was in season 5 when chris daughtry was eliminated.

this season, though, the top 4 elimination wasn't a shocker. although lakisha had been a strong contender in the beginning, the other 3 simply outshone her in the later part of the competition.

so it was the top 4 eliminations in seasons 1, 3, and 5 that had surprising results. it's a series number!!! 1 - 3 - 5. see? there's a pattern!

another pattern has surfaced, though. the top 3 elimination seems to have started to become a jinx for the most vocally able and endowed singers. we had to say goodbye to melinda doolittle earlier despite her powerful performances and unanimous praises from the judges. not everyone may like melinda (like my friends in japan and perhaps cebu hehehe) but there's no doubt that she had the vocal prowess unmatched by the other contestants. she is probably even, arguably, the best singer to ever grace the american idol competition since it started in 2002. the pattern was probably set off by my (ahem) personal american idol elliott yamin in season 5 when he was ousted during the top 3 elimination. elliott was, by far, the best vocalist of the three remaining that time.

with that said, melinda doesn't have to worry about anything. if i'm not mistaken in pointing out this pattern and should it be valid, then it would be safe to say that she has a bright future ahead of her in the music industry. elliott has started his career with his self-titled debut album landing #3 in the billboard charts and his first single "wait for you" getting constant airplay and appearing on the charts including in billboard's top 100.

and weeeee, i got to see my idol elliott perform at the elimination show earlier. the hairdo bothered me at first. the new perfect white teeth were noticeable. the singing was even better than last time i remembered and heard his voice. and the personality that i like was still there.

ahhhh, i loved the song "wait for you"! it's kinda fitting for me at this time! hehehe. i've got to get my hands on the album soon! hear and watch his mtv at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=MEskpfHOTAk

plastic beauty

2007-05-16T18:49:00.000+08:00

arrrggghhh!!! naiinis na ako sa ginagawa ko at sa mga katrabaho ko! puro feeling!

sa meeting lahat magsasalita ng sabay sabay kasi alam nilang lahat ang ginagawa at sinasabi nila! actually, hindi naman ako over na naiinis habang pinapakinggan ko ang kanilang mga pagtatalo. natawa ako actually kasi puro nila dinidiin ang points nila. ang hindi nila alam, kaya sila hindi magkasundo kasi iba na ang pinag-uusapan ng bawat isa. hindi na sila pareho ng subject! ayan sige magmagaling pa kayo!

so anong ginawa ko? nakatingin lang sa kanilang lahat. pangiti-ngiti. pasulat-sulat. patagong nag-dra-drawing. nag-fla-flames. uyyyy. nag-po-pose ala america's next top model kasi may reflection sa glass wall ng meeting room. naglalaro ng bracelet ko. nag-co-compose ng poems sa isip. at nangangarap! :p

kung nasa labas ka ng meeting room at makikita mo kami, ang tingin mo sa kanila ay magaling silang lahat. kasi nagsasalita na may kasama pang wagayway ng kamay sa himpapawid. pag tiningnan mo naman ako, ay mamangha ka, kagandahan ang makikita mo kasi nag-pa-pout-pout ako ng lips at nag-po-pose-pose nga sa harap ng transparent glass wall. hihihi.

syempre tinatanong din nila ako. at para hindi sabihing bobo at hindi nakikinig, nagbibigay din ako ng opinion. buti naman at sound and valid din ang mga opinions ko. ;)

at syempre may mga times na hindi ako sang-ayon sa mga sinasabi nila. pero nakakapagod makipagtalo sa mga taong ganito. yung alam nilang perfect na yung mga isip nila. kaya kahit naiinis na ako sa sinasabi nila o binibigay nila sa kin, oo pa rin ang sinasabi ko. okay pa rin ang sinasabi ko. nginingitian ko pa rin sila.

ganyan ang nakasanayan ko eh. ganyan ang naging training ko sa buhay. mahirap talaga maging isang beauty queen! :p

FLAMES

2007-05-16T18:12:00.000+08:00

we started out as Friends
and almost became Lovers
i've always been your Admirer
dreaming of someday Marrying you
though recent things have made us
act like Enemies, cold and unbending
part of me is still hoping
we'll end up as Sweethearts for eternity

we have all letters covered
in this rollercoaster relationship of ours
but when we do everything by the rules
you remain my Admirer
while i act like we're Enemies
but we'll still end up together
as Lovers for ever after
weeeeeeeeee

------

hehehe. i feel so teeny bopper today! :p

nihon turipu apr 14: the center of attraction

2007-05-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

i started apr 14 on the dot. as in at the strike of 12 midnight on apr 14 (tama ba? 14 na pag 12 midnight?), i was rhythmically gyrating to disco music at arty farty in shinjuku with roland and our newfound friends kazuya and jun. i think it was around that time that i became drunk that i started to dance with people i didn't know. hehehe. people around were looking at me. instant star si emman! :p

although i was drunk, i was still sane enough to ignore those guys who were giving me more than either admiring or disgusted looks. (hey, you can't please everyone with your dancing! hehehe). some were giving me the "come on baby. you're too hot to be left alone. you need to cool down. come here to be wetted!" hwek hwek hwek. of course, i went there to dance with roland lang noh! :p

roland wasn't overshadowed by my exotic beauty and groovy moves at all. my friend is a hottie so he got a lot of attention from everyone around us as well, especially from the japanese guys. but we're not easy to get or, worse, sluts, so we had to ward off all those temptations around us. somehow, without planning or really talking about it beforehand, we started introducing ourselves as lovers to the guys coming up to us who were either not our type or were just plain nuisance. hehehe. besides, naibigay ko na kay roland si kazuya. aba! ba't bigla kang nagtagalog emman? eh kasi po, baka mabasa ito ng mamang kaibigan ko at magalit. masyado syang sensitibo na ipagkalat ko ang mga ginawa namin! hehehe. pero wala naman actually eh. hindi dapat big deal pero alam nyo na, mahirap nang magtampo pa sya. baka di na nya ako padalhan ng sustento para sa ginawa naming bata, este, mga regalo pala tulad ng libro at tsokolate at postcards. :p

nakilala lang pala namin si kazuya nung gabing yun. actually, ninakaw ko sya sa isa pang kakilala ni roland na kasayaw ni kazuya. yup, patok na patok itong si kazuya sa mga caucasians! buti na lang kasama nya si jun at may kasayaw ako habang ang kaibigan ko at itong si kazuya ay sumasayaw sa sarili nilang mundo na masyadong masikip at madikit at mabagal kahit ang tugtog ay pang-warla! :p buti na lang at game si jun sa lahat ng kalokohan ko sa sayaw. masaya! :D

at past 4am yata, the four of us with the addition of shinichi (kaibigan nina kazuya and jun) went for early breakfast at jonathan's, a famous 24 hour restaurant in japan. nawala na ang kalasingan ko but that was the first time that roland heard me sing. eh pano ba naman? ang mga pinapatutog sa restaurant were songs that i knew how to sing like "what if" and "my heart will go on". lumabas ang pagiging showgirl ko! hehehe. aba, titig na titig. di makapaniwala na aside from dancing diva eh, singing diva din pala ang kaibigan nya! :p sinabihan na nya ako the previous week nung una naming disco na gusto nya yung pag sayaw ko. eto na naman, namangha sya sa pagkanta ko. plus plus ganda points! :p

at around 6am, we went our separate ways with jun keeping on asking me when i was going back. uy, na in love din! hehehe. i told them kasi na i was going to osaka and the whole week i'd bee travelling to different places. i promised him i'd meet them the next friday. we bid adieu with a hug! charing! at around 8am i was in ueno retrieving my trolley bag from a locker and getting a bullet train ticket to osaka. my departure was 11am pa so i had to sit in one of the seats in the waiting area inside the station and slept. wala kaya akong tulog since apr 13 ng umaga!

i arrived at osaka at past 1pm. kay met me there. we went to her apartment and rested for a couple of hours. at 4pm, we headed off to umeda to visit one of my castles. :p

the sakuras in osaka were beautiful!!!

at night, we still went to the sky garden, much like an observatory, to get a view of osaka city at night. lovely!

surprisingly, i wasn't too wasted despite having only about 3 hours of sleep na putol putol pa! tingnan nyo, maganda pa rin di ba? :p hehehe. that view is still at osaka castle.

this day was filled with attractions at the start of the day pa lang like at the strike of 12 midnight! this was one of the most memorable days during my trip! ;) too bad lang, i couldn't go back to tokyo anymore to accompany roland at james' party. i was looking forward to getting to know james pa naman. sayang! di na talaga kaya ng powers.

on the bright side, i got to get to know better someone else who proved to be one of the good friends one can make, my host kay. i thought of her kasi dati na a bit reserved and mahinhin. hay naku, buhakhak kung mokatawa, tabian pa sa tanang tabian, and just so much fun ikuyog! hehehe. what was most touching was kay really showed me around. good thing pud na nagkasama kami kasi her eyes were opened to the wonderful past time of boyz looking and admiring! hehehe.

thanks for the hospitality kay and rose! ;) (rose was kay's amiable housemate who's as sweet as staying at home hehehe) mwah!

dream salary

2007-05-15T10:34:00.000+08:00

ang sarap magkaron ng 90k USD na annual salary noh? very tempting. pero sayang. walang IT! hay! hehehe

http://pinoyjobiraq.blogspot.com/

apply na! :p

missed connections

2007-05-13T03:06:00.000+08:00

it is no mystery that there are people whom we connect with. some happen instantaneously the moment you meet someone. some are nurtured over time through constant communication. and some are a combination of both: you click with someone on the first meeting and your affinity towards each other grows and deepens as you get to know each other. it is no mystery because it happens. we all establish connections with others, may it be friendly, romantic, or familial. these are the connections we deem special compared to our relationships with ordinary acquaintances.

but it is a mystery why some of these connections, at some point, lose their strength or, worse, become severed. there might be reasons why the waning or the cutting of these special kinships happen such as distance, misunderstanding, neglect, or cowardice. at the moment it starts to wane or when it is cut, it is no mystery; but over time when you try to remember and re-trace all the things that transpired leading to such dis-connections, it becomes a mystery. sometimes you fail to understand whatever happened. even if you recall the reasons, you miss what used to be there brought by the good times and even the bad times that were never allowed to bring the relationship down. mystery, after all, is characterized by confusion and uncertainties.

we miss our connections when we remember them. we miss our connections when time has healed all there is to heal. we miss our connections when we feel lonely. we miss our connections when everything in our lives are turning out perfectly well because behind that seemingly perfect life we know the connections that were lost. whatever happenstance that brings us to missing our lost connections, something tugs at us to rekindle those connections for they were, are, and will be lovely. not beautiful lovely but love lovely. all we need to do is reestablish the communication. even those connections that were lost severely due to grave misunderstandings or quarrelling can be bridged. all one has to do is reach out. the wonderful connections can be regained. that is no mystery because that can be done by choice as long as pride is stripped away.

nihon turipu apr 13: pressing matters

2007-05-13T02:03:00.000+08:00

i was tense on this day. i couldn't decide what to do. i only had two sure things. first, i had to leave sendai on this day, be at kita-senju, and have dinner with old friends: kobayashi-san and yuko-chan. second, i had to meet roland afterwards.

my dilemma was, or rather, my dilemmas were:
1. after meeting roland would i be able to catch the last bullet train to osaka? what time was the last train???
2. if i stayed all night until the wee hours of the morning with roland, where would i sleep??? what time was i going to osaka?
3. if i went to osaka in the morning the next day, april 14, will i ever be able to make it back at around 8 pm to tokyo to attend a party where roland invited me??? would i still be able to tour osaka if i did that??? waaaahhh...
4. do i attend the party on the 14th? or just watch roland's choral performance on the 15th instead?

kakalito!

you see, roland told me earlier in the week that he had planned two surprises for me. one was he'd bring me to a party on april 14 where i would be able to meet james whom he introduced to me via the latter's blog (http://www.gay-persons-of-color.blogspot.com). the other was he reserved a ticket for me to his choral concert on april 15. i'd been bugging him about letting me watch him sing when i found out in 2005 that he's in a choir. he planned for it, pala! gosh! laglag me that day! :p eh? wasn't it supposed to be a surprise? why did he tell me that, you may ask. it was because i told him of my plans of staying in osaka on april 14 and 15. he had no choice but to tell me his surprise plans so that i could make some adjustments. ang lolo nyo nga naman. he was probably thinking na everyday sa kanya ako. tsk tsk tsk. hehehe.

i was calculating my days against the places i planned to go to. my plan was shaken because of his planned surprises. i wanted to meet james and i'd been waiting for the moment that i could see roland sing on stage! i was finally going to be able to get what i demanded because, apparently, he's too shy to have his friends watch him sing! but i also promised my friend kay in osaka that i'd be there on a weekend. osaka and tokyo are 2.5 hours away from each other by bullet train. gosh! what was i to do?

hmmm... you'll find out in the next posts... hehehe :p

what i did on april 13 was i left sendai. waaaahhh, bye bye na kay auntie si ea.

i went to kita-senju to meet kobayashi-san. i arrived at the meeting place first! wow, that was something new, emman arriving early! hehehe. i knew that a certain mr. zambi was also coming with us. while there, i saw a filipino guy na nagpapa-cute. ilabas ko na ba ang pepper spray ko??? hehehe. he turned out to be zambi who told me that he recognized me as we've met before in 2004 at his training center. i told him i didn't remember him at all! hahaha.

before going for dinner, zambi, kobayashi-san, and i went to an exhibit featuring the bombing of tokyo in 194gotten (read as nineteen forgotten) hehehe. i can't recall the year actually. sowee.

then we went to an exhibit on the art of pressing flowers, fruits, and leaves. sugoi ne! the frame below is just one of the many framed collections of pressed flowers, fruits, and leaves.

below, we were trying our own hands at pressing flowers and leaves in a postcard. zambi had a better flair at it than moi! how embarrassing for a girl! hehehe.

then dinner with two old very good friends, kobayashi-san (leftmost) and yuko-chan (the lady sandwiched between the two other ladies) and three new friends. :)

after dinner, went straight to shinjuku to meet roland. i found out from the station that the last train to osaka was at 9pm. i was going to stay overnight at the disco with roland after all! weeee!

so what happened next? it's for the apr 14 account. teeheee! :p

will i ever be there?

2007-05-11T13:12:00.000+08:00

i guess i have to remove mexico from my list. but thailand? well they're road accidents. but avoid ladyboys??? gosh! are they as dangerous as pirates and rebels??? why avoid them when they're lovely??? hehehe.

to know what i'm talking about, visit: http://www.nmg-uk.com/blog/holidays/10-most-dangerous-holiday-destinations.html.

nihon turipu apr 12: auntie's love for birdies

2007-05-10T23:12:00.000+08:00

it was one of the most memorable days during my trip. with otik and ea in matsushima bay, around 30 minutes away from sendai. matsushima is known as one of the three most scenic spots in japan due to its pine clad islets. the islets looked like big rocks to me protruding out of the water. they didn't look special really to me. probably because i'm used to seeing a lot of islands in cebu because of my wanderlust that brings me to different places. the matsushima islets would have probably looked sublime in winter when the they're covered with snow. thats' what i saw in the postcards. hehehe. hmmm, siguro partly why i didn't get to see the beauty of these islets was because i got so engrossed with a lot of birdies: the seagulls of matsushima bay.

they were following our ferry due to people feeding them. i tried to feed them with fries. nakatingin yan pero actually they never bothered to catch the fries i threw at them.

kaya pala! they didn't want any other food other than the prawn crackers being sold sa loob ng ferry. aba, kinontrata yata ng ferry owners yung mga gulls na huwag kumain ibang food para bumili yung mga tao ng binebenta nila. business partnership yata eto. tsk tsk tsk. hehehe. so i bought one na lang. pero bakit ganun? feel na feel ko ang paghahagis pero walang kumuha!!!

dinaanan lang nila ako. hmph!

bigay ko na lang kaya sa hapong to. ready na sya o. naka-nganga na eh! hehehe.

sa wakas at napansin na rin!!!

tukain mo na birdie! :p

after the ferry ride, the otik, ea, and i surveyed the surroundings of matsushima. we went to temples, bridges, trees, and shops. ea took hold of her mommy's camera and just started shooting at us!!! buti na lang magaling kaming mag-pose ni otik! at nakapasok kami sa karamihang shots ng isang 3 year old. hehehe.

one notable characteristic ni ea is how she refers to herself as a third person. she doesn't use the first person pronouns like "i" and "me". it's always ea. she'd say "mommy, punta si ea duon?" or "auntie, ea wants to play" or "daddy, gutom si ea". hehehe. kakatuwang bata. i guess she got that from her parents who would always use her name in all things they say like "gutom na si ea?" or "uu si ea?" hehehe.

at syempre pag mahaba ang araw ng lakwatsa at may batang kasama, ang bata ay susumpungin ng pa-cute with matching pa-cry-cry. hehehe. buti na lang, ice cream always hushes a chikiting like ea.

the day was fun but tiring. good thing we had a very heavy dinner of gyuu tongue or ox tongue! i eat lengua estofada in the philippines so kinaya ko naman ang grilled ox tongue! masarap sya in fairness especially i paired it with sparkling wine! gibati og ka laishu si emman! :p

hay, that's one of those experiences that makes me want to go back there and do everything all over again.

vote for danton remoto

2007-05-10T02:48:00.000+08:00

philippine elections is coming up. i haven't registered here. have i become apathetic? i don't think so. more of forgetful really and just engrossed with my own world inside my head. hehehe. so a little selfish, probably, but not apathetic to the affairs of my ever so beloved country. i still listen to those who rant about philippine politics and throw in my opinions from time to time.

whether i'll be able to vote or not on may 14th, i'd like to promote one candidate: danton remoto. apart from his running contemporaries, he's the only and the first openly gay candidate in the philippines who'll be fighting for gay rights. we already have a number of politicians who have similar promises. whether they keep those promises or not is a different story. we should add someone who will do something for the minority. and it is not just any someone. danton remoto is a u.p. professor who had been actively involved in gay movements in the philippines. that just shows his dedication as well his track record of getting things done.

here's a short article about him: http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/07/04/01/10115203.html.

and oh, we already have a representative actually in the government. he hadn't confirmed it even though jokes have been circulating around about his hybrid nationality being half filipino half filipina. it is sad that he hasn't done anything for his sisters (of the rainbow flag). he has busied himself, instead, bickering with our petite governor in cebu. they enjoy calling each other igat (malandi) in public. you know what they say, in the philipines the politicians provide the entertainment.

be sure to vote for danton! :) para naman maging free na ang mga girlalous na gawing mas lalong makulay ang pilipinas. kasi imagine na lang natin na wala ang mga girlalou...

or imagine natin na suppressed or reppressed si emman...

...

...

...

...

...

hindi carry di ba? unimaginably sad! hehehe. kaya vote na! pero pangalan ni danton remoto ang ilagay nyo sa balota at hindi pangalan ko ha! :p

reason to rejoice and be gay

2007-05-10T02:10:00.000+08:00

in singapore, sexual acts between men is punishable by imprisonment; but, there's good news. lee kuan yew has pronounced his intentions of introducing an amendment to the bill banning gay sex. late last year, the law against unnatural sexual acts between straight people had been removed. (unnatural daw ang oral sex and excluded pa rin ang mga diyosa)

this is a good step. people will be coming out. singapore will be filled with colors!

can't wait to make this place gay! teehee!

read more pala of the report at http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/04/042307singapore.htm

nihon turipu apr 11: auntie arrives in sendai

2007-05-08T02:20:00.000+08:00

from nagaoka, i went back to omiya in tokyo to go to sendai as there aren't any trains that go directly from niigata to sendai. my plans of travelling on late nights or dawn (like 12 midnight to 2 am) so that i could arrive at my destinations on early mornings (like 5 or 6 am) never happened as the last bullet trains going anywhere are usually at 9 pm. so i ended up sleeping at my friends' houses at night and travel the next day at noon time even if i woke up early.

at sendai, i was graciously welcomed by the the wing family: the debonair wayne, the gorgeous otik, and their loveable daughter ea (pronounce it as ee-yah people and not e-a hehehe), who is a carbon copy of her daddy.

i was treated to a gastronomically appetizing and fulfilling meal in a fresh seafood restaurant which cost my hosts one laps (isang lapad hehehe or 10k yen in figures wow!)

the raw fishes tasted great! but i had to taste the shrimp too. it was sweet and slimy. i really wouldn't do it again if you ask me, although the taste wasn't really bad.

i think i just wouldn't be able to take it anymore after tasting them raw shrimps while i knew that their kins were swimming in some aquariums near us. i'd rather have them cooked in butter next time, thank you!

ea brought much of the laughter that night. first, when she was looking at the live seafood an the side of our table, she suddenly exclaimed "SPIDER!!!" while pointing to a group of crabs. i wonder if tobey maguire would still look hot if his spidey costume included pinchers as his hands and eyes that pop out and move like antennas right in front and above his forehead. wehehehe.

secondly, while i had to endure the pain of hearing ea's mommy teaching her cute daughter how to regard me like "oh, ea smile at uncle", "ea listen to uncle", or "ea, go to uncle", this very bright chikiting, when we left the restaurant, just suddenly called me "auntiiiiieeeeeeeeeee"

weeeee! i didn't know if should jump for joy with that as i felt old being called auntie. ba't di na lang tita, ea ha? buti na lang wala tayo sa singapore! hehehe. but i guess it was better than uncle! :p

of course, i had a great meal (raw shrimps included) with great people (uncle references included) hehehe :p

thanks wayne, otik, and ea! mwah! :D

japan pics

2007-05-07T11:21:00.000+08:00

no post lately as i'd been busy with uploading more pics at my multiply site due to popular demand! hehehe... actually, i already uploaded about 204 pictures there but since there were some requests to add more, then i'd been editing some captions here and there, and selecting those photos which are worth sharing. i couldn't share all as it would drive multiply crazy having about 1400 pics uploaded at one time! yeah i have over 1400 pictures during the trip. i only uploaded only a little less than 600 shots. they're the interesting ones naman. so visit my multiply site at www.emmanv.multiply.com for the pictures.

tataaa...

nihon turipu apr 10: lone wanderer started to wander

2007-05-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

this day started my lone wandering in the different sites of nihon. from nagaoka, i went to niigata. tooooooooooooo cold! but the place was beautiful! it was like tokyo minus the crowd.

the sakuras lined along the canal are found at the back of the nagaoka station. my friends who lived there didn't know about it but the gay who stayed there for a night only discovered the beautiful blossoms! and what else did i discover there? well, nothing much except that a lot of young guys were stealing glances at me.

oh, no wonder! i was a fashion victim again! ang lamiiiiiigggggg super! nakangiti yan jan sa baba pero numb na ang kamay. i had to wear everything i had in my day travelling bag. in niigata, i went to their observatory to observe. ano pa nga ba? hehehe. i walked for about 30 to 45 minutes from the station to that building behind me.

career change

2007-05-03T22:03:00.000+08:00

i've been contemplating it for some time already. there are signs! ang dami kong pinagpipilian ngayon. the opportunities are just right in front of me. all i have to do is choose. but alin ba dito?
1. technical/application/production support (nandito ang moolah eh)
2. qa tester or qa lead for a gaming company (huwow!!! i'll get paid for playing games in all imaginable consoles and platforms! waaaahhhh... this will be a dream come true!!! yeah, there's an opening!!! kaba. kaba. kaba.)
3. software engineer with 75% travel overseas (frequent travel??? frequent travel!!! FREQUENT TRAVEL?!?!?!)
4. google (need i say more??? they're opening an r&d here!!!)

so alin ba jan? ha? can't i just be a game tester at google travelling 75% of the time and paid like an application support in a swiss bank??? waaaahhhh, libog! ahhh, sa mga tagalog, i mean libog to be gulo sa isip!

gosh! i have to decide! az if matanggap noh? :p

bye bye love

2007-05-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

hay, he's out. i saw it coming, though. and i'm not sad unlike when elliott was booted out last year. siguro na rin because the four left are very deserving to be in the top 4. anyways, i'd like to retract what i wrote kaninang madaling araw na i'll die if chris is eliminated! hindi pala puede! aside from hindi pa ko ready, sino mag-aalaga kay chris pag wala na ang soulmate nya??? :p

so it's down to four. the three divas and the beat boxer. i'm expecting even more votes going in as the four are really good! go jordin! and melinda! and blake! and lakisha! hehehe. sino ba talaga? :p

to chris, don't worry. you're my american idol! heck, you're my universal idol! my galactic idol! i love you TOO! mwah! :p

joke muna

2007-05-03T21:17:00.000+08:00

hihihi... wala lang... read these from one of the mailing lists i subscribe to... tawang tawa ako sa tatlong to! :D

Isang pangit na babae, hinoholdap
Holdaper:Holdap ito!Akin na gamit mo!
Babae (sumigaw): RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper:Anong rape?Holdap nga to eh!
Babae:Nagsa-suggest lang.

Pare 1:Pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare 2:Nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare 1:Swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare 2:Pare ako nanalo!

Sa isang mumurahing airline:
Stewardess:Sir,would you like some dinner?
Passenger:Ano ba ang mga choices?
Stewardess:Yes or No lang po

nihon turipu apr 9: the start of the vagabond life

2007-05-03T03:09:00.000+08:00

this day marked the start of my vagabondish trip: wandering from one place to the next, crashing at friends' places or wondering where to wander or, worst, where to sleep next! hehehe. i went to nagaoka to visit two very good friends, mae and rizza. :)

and i got to see my grown inaanak, danna, once more. how the time had passed!

i stayed at rizza's place and slept a bit earlier than usual (12 midnight ms rhyze?) to prepare for the big things the next day. there were five things that were extra memorable this day:
1. it was the first time i boarded a shinkansen (bullet train) which had comfier seats than airplanes.
2. i got to see mae, danna, wawang, and rhyze.
3. i discovered that a walk along eerie dimly lit streets on a very cold spring night will make you blow cold steam from your mouth as if you're smoking just to keep yourself from getting scared.
4. i discovered that japanese men never check out on you (your eyes, lips, face, body, legs, etc) no matter how hot you are! :p
5. the best itlog maalat i had in my life was had at mae's house during dinner. it was courtesy of ms rizza!

i'll stand by you

2007-05-03T02:49:00.000+08:00

- by the pretenders -

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Dont be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
cause Ive seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You dont know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you

So if youre mad, get mad
Dont hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well Im a lot like you
When youre standing at the crossroads
And dont know which path to choose
Let me come along
cause even if youre wrong

Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And Ill never desert you
Ill stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
Youre feeling all alone
You wont be on your own

Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you

Ill stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And Ill never desert you
Ill stand by you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you
Wont let nobody hurt you
Ill stand by you

i've heard it twice on american idol already and love, love, love, love the song! maybe because i could have sung this to someone. awwww! but it actually goes out to all of you my beloved friends out there. MUWAHHHH!!! :D

here's a lovely video of this song! but oh, gosh, just great! two american idol hopefuls on it both of whom remind me of two other people i know so i find it quite weird; nevertheless, chris is oh so handsome! :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ31Qgtym0o&mode=related&search=

and oh, i watched tonight's performances and was quite disappointed with jordin's performance. i'd been banking on her since she sang "i who have nothing" but tonight she was the worst! blake and melinda were the best! chris was adorable and i hope he stays. i'll die if he doesn't! hehehe. phil had a good voice but didn't like him. lakisha's was so-so. the latter two should go home. i'm still rooting for jordin! :p

memoirs of a "gay siya": straight

2007-05-02T13:53:00.000+08:00

suzie: uhm, to starhub bldg...

uncle driver: ohkay... hmm, so your friend doesn't work with you?

suzie: sorry?

uncle driver: i mean, you don't work at the same place?

suzie: oh.. nope, i'm working at starhub.

uncle: straight?

suzie: hm yeah.. (sinabi ko na nga na starhub bldg e..)

uncle: oh really? i thought your friend was more of a girl rather than a guy!

suzie: oh you were asking if my friend was straight? i thought you were asking if we should go straight!

uncle: yeah, no wonder! but i think i don't need to ask. i know already.

suzie: ok. :)

________________________________

a verbatim et literatim retelling

of a timeless dialogue

written by

suzie cutie!

a walk in an untrodden path

2007-05-02T00:44:00.000+08:00

i walked and talked with a friend a while ago. haven't done that with him for some time now. it's refreshing to get to do that once in a while with people whom you connect with, with people whom you share your thoughts with, unbarred and spontaneous, and who, likewise, share everything about themselves with you.

we talked about how things here have become "the same" to past situations. it's actually just the monotony of everything. once you get so used to the place, everything seems routinary. even for someone like me who constantly seeks new things to do, new people to meet, and new ideas and emotions to explore, there comes a point when where i am becomes humdrum.

after i sent off my friend at the station, i continued walking on past the place where i live just so i could have an exercise, ponder on things i did this year, and reflect on what my friend and i talked about. i treaded the path i haven't used before. and i treaded it on a late night. it had helped me put things in perspective. there's still so much to experience.

i've known it like forever ago, but i have to be reminded of it once in a while because our zest for life tend to wane in the midst of perplexities and adversities. it's the same case as love that starts to lose its flavor when you don't see your beloved, but it still beats in you. it runs the risk of being lost when it shouldn't be because it's too lovely to be forgotten or cast away.

once, a friend told me that he planned on dying at the age of 40 because he didn't want to get so old. someone else once told me that 70 would be the right age for him to leave this world as by that time he would become bored with life. but i think that a thousand years to live wouldn't be enough for me to experience everything that there is. there is just so much. places to go to. cultures to experience. food to taste. songs to hear. people to love. people to hate. feelings to relish. there is so much that even in the things that may seem similar to us are not at all similar but vary in one way or another. for example, one's feelings for someone cannot be the same for another one even if you call it love for both. if we are able to relish our experiences, i think we'll be able to hold on to a life that's vibrant, never dull, and never boring.

when i went to japan, my senses were alive due to the new things that i was experiencing. when i came back to singapore, it was like i turned back to my routinary lifestyle. my senses became passive as everything around me was familiar. what i failed to realize was that even in a very familiar place, new things abound waiting to be done and discovered. even in your regular companions and friends, there are things that can be learned.

walking an untreaded path tonight reminded me of this. in a place that i've become used to, i can take on paths i haven't taken on. i can take a walk with old friends and discover things that are new with them. i can even dream new things. that would still be something new. there's just so much to do in life that not a thousand nor even a million years would afford me to experiencing.

nihon turipu apr 8: araw ng pag-ibig

2007-05-02T00:33:00.000+08:00

SECRET!!! :p

hehehe. well, it was just an afternoon of coffee and strolling with roland at roppongi. a night of dinner with roland, nobu, and rob. and a late night of dancing at arty farty with (who else?) roland, kazuya, and hiroshi. i just met nobu, kazuya, and hiroshi that day. very nice gays indeed, not to mention, good looking! :D

L to R: moi, roland who doesn't smile coz he said
he looks better not smiling, nobu (good looking and
good natured), and rob the wacky

grammar issues

2007-04-30T01:34:00.000+08:00

ang daming wrong grammar ng posts ko after reviewing the last one. mali mali pa ang punctuations! ay bayaan mo na! at least resulta ng spontaneity. :p

tamad lang actually...

hay antok!

laterzzzzzzzzzzzz............

nihon turipu apr 7: sakura sakura and surprise surprise

2007-04-30T00:51:00.000+08:00

i finally got to see up close and personal one of the primary reasons why i went to japan on a spring! i relished my time with grace at shinjuku park taking all inside me the beauty of the various types of sakuras.

i just had to be there this spring. i promised that to myself last year. nakailang balik na ko sa japan before but never in spring.

and later that afternoon, someone was in for a big surprise! ms lily and i had been plotting it weeks before my trip. she communicated with roland what i dictated her to do. hihihi. thanks ms lily. roland was all along thinking that he would be meeting lily ann that afternoon since my padala akong pasalubong from singapore kung san nag business trip si lily for a few weeks! mga sinungaling! hahaha...

the plan was that i was to come up from behind roland while he was waiting for lily ann and i would say "excuse me sir, are you waiting for someone." ohhhh, i could imagine the surprise in his face. but disaster always strikes. hindi ko sya nakita. kasi naman naharangan sya ng isang wall. so while looking for him and napunta ako dun sa wall kung san sya naharangan, we came face to face with each other, both of us having a surprised look! hehehe. imbis na sya lang ang ma-surprise, na-surprise din ang nag-surprise! weeeeeeeee! :p sabi na lang nya "what are you doing here?" si emman natameme sa kaguapuhan ng ka eyeball nya! :p

at habang mega hug hug kaming dalawa, aba, may mga sumulpot na mga ususera! hehehe. nag-plan din ng sarili nilang surprise for me sina lily ann, rizza at tess! na-surprise ako at pumunta din sila dun. ang daming surprises!!! so i introduced them to roland. and mega bulong bulong ang mga babae. starstruck sila sa kaguapuhan ng kaibigan ko! hehehe... at tama ba namang sabihin nila na "sayang at married na sila!"... hindi sayang dahil bading sya kundi married na sila!!! talaga lang ha... pag planuhan ba! akin sya! wehehehe... ms rhyze sorry di kita na beso beso kaagad. i was really surprised that all of you were there. plus, ang dami kaagad naming pinagkuentuhan ni roland. di sya makapaniwala. lalo syang na in love! hahaha. :p

that was a fun afternoon. and of course, the best part of the day was going to tatay's and nanay's place and play mahjong. yeah, i wanted to play mahjong in japan. i lost millions! oh well, i still have plenty! :p

sleep na ko... grabeh ni ka-pressure ang mag-himog account sa trip uy! wehehehe. tawgan na lang mo nako tanan para makig-chika about it. or better still, i'll hold an press conference na lang! :p

nihon turipu apr 6: fashion victim caught by (fashion?) police

2007-04-27T00:48:00.000+08:00

waaaaaahhhhh!

that's the reason why i had to sleep at ueno the previous night. i miss miss miss miss ichiran ramen, the best ramen in the world!!! just look at the fat content! yummy! i needed that! :p

yeah, i had to have my ramen that morning. alam mo na, you just don't know what will happen to you next. so you have to have your favorite food always. take me for example. after i had my ramen, i went to ueno station, probably the biggest and busiest station in japan (ne?), to go back to lily's place. while inside the station, i was looking up at the train schedules in the monitors when a man suddenly approached me. he said "sumimasen. police." he said that in a manner that was movie-like. while uttering the word police, he discreetly showed me his badge pinned to his wallet. huwat? hinuli si emman ng police??? opo. and this was our conversation.

police: gakusei desu ka?
emman: iie, chigaimasu. prostitute desu.
police: huwaaa, hontou?
emman: hai, hontou desu!
police: eto ne. ano ne. ikura desu ka.
emman: takai yo!
police: huwaaa, onegai shimasu!

:p hehehe... hindi po ganyan... eto po ang totoong nangyari.

police: gakusei desu ka?
emman: iie. i'm a tourist.
police: ah, sou desu ka.
emman: do you want my passport?
police: yes.
emman: how can i go to yokohama?
police: ah, eto ne. take yamanote line all the way to shin-yokohama.
emman: arigatou gozaimashita.
police: hai! here's your passport. sumimasen.

kinindatan ko na lang ang police. isa na naman sa countless japanese guys na hindi makakatulog dahil sa kin! wehehehe.

so ayan, eat all you can your favorite food kasi you'll never know when a police makes huli to you. pero ok lang din kasi pag hinatulan ka ng death penalty may premyo ka namang eat all you want. :p

in the afternoon i went to roppongi hills with ms lily and tess. gosh! i only spent 30 minutes there since i had to go to abiko for the party with my ex-nsp bosses and friends. i was supposed to meet them at 6 pm. i was late for one hour because i fell asleep on the train and got lost. :(

i was very ashamed and felt that yammy-san, who prepared the party just to welcome me, was a bit disappointed with me. waaahhhh. di ko kaya yammy-san! :( but good thing the ohanami (night picnic under the sakura trees) went so well with my ex-bosses and colleagues being there! i didn't expect that they'd throw a party for their once engineer.

true love nya ako.

bawal na pag-ibig.

dahilan kung bakit ngayon nagbabalak na akong magka-baby. uy, hindi ang batang to ang gusto kong gawing tatay!!! gusto ko lang magkaron ng ganyan ka-cute na anak! :D

i felt so loved! charing! hehehe... to think that these bosses of mine tried to dissuade my decision of resignation before, but there they were throwing a party for me with two senior managers present! awwww... of course, my ever handsome boss yamanaka-san tried again to talk me into going back into his arms, este, team pala! :p i'll think about it yamanaka-san! ;)

i went home at around 12 midnight to the gracious home of graceful grace. i was a walking fashion victim. just look at my batman costume in the previous post. cold japan had done that to me twice. the first was when i climbed mt fuji where i put on a raincoat and used my socks as mittens! that was worse than this time pala! hahaha... this time, i wore everything i had on my bag because of the cold.

hmmm, could it be that the police approached me because of my fashion sense? :p

japan friendships unforgettable shots

2007-04-26T23:15:00.000+08:00

lily: macro shot model

jay: mickey mouth

rizza: the mahjong lecturer

mae: wonderwoman wannabe

emman the batman: the fashion victim

nihon turipu apr 5: brrrrrrrrrrr...

2007-04-25T23:15:00.000+08:00

arrived at nihon at around 8 am. when i got out of the airport, i asked myself "nasan na ang lamig?" it wasn't cold at all! so i took off my jacket.

japan has earned a lot of tourists since the last time i went there in 2004. i queued at the immigration counters for tourists. it had longer queues than the counters for japanese nationals, which, after about five minutes were already empty while our queues took 48 years.

i took the narita express train going to yokohama. i paid 1500 yen only for the ticket instead of the usual 4000 plus. what is guapa gud! :p really, there was a promo for tourists whereby i could purchase a narita express train ticket for only 1500 if i also got the suica card, which is the contactless card for the trains (similar to ezlink in singapore), at 2000 yen. i arrived at okurayama station at around 11 am. good thing i didn't get lost in translation and in the directions considering i made 2 transfers along the way.

the beautifully preggy ms lily and her exquisitely gorgeous sisteroo, tess, picked me up at okurayama station. at their abode, after hauling my supposedly light luggage 3 stairways up their building, i fell asleep with all my clothes on. thanks to ms lily for allowing me to sleep for about 3 hours. gidaman pa ko siguro ato! hehehe.

we went out at night to meet jay at yokohama. manlibre man daw sya nako. he treated me to yoshinoya at yokohama! hehehe. that night it was soooooooo cold compared to the temperature in the morning.

and since i didn't have any place to stay at that night yet, i booked a very expensive hotel. the picture below is the lobby of the hotel.

not!!! hehehe. ako pa! ang mahal kaya sa japan. if i stayed in a hotel kahit one night lang, ubos kaagad pera ko. that pic was taken at the top floor of a mall in yokohama. later when i bid adieu jay, ms lily, tess, and lloyd, i was debating with myself if i'd stay in a youth hostel in yokohama or in a business inn sauna in ueno. both places i didn't know where to find actually and it was nearing 10 pm. hehehe. i finally decided to try the one in ueno. i was drawn by the promise of ichiran ramen the next day there! waaaahhhh...

and the highlight of the day? well, walking and getting lost in ueno between 1130 pm till 1 am trying to find where the sauna was in a freezing temperature of 8 degrees! that was probably the coldest i experienced in my life. i had to put on all clothing i could put on including leg warmers, mittens, and the green starhub pashmina which sue gave me. i was a walking fashion victim in ueno at midnight! :p

when i couldn't find the place, i walked inside a hotel and asked for directions. good thing i did that because i was walking at the opposite direction. if i didn't ask, i would have reached hokkaido by 5 am. :p

anyways, reaching the place was bliss since i was able to take a bath, sleep, and dream wet dreams. kay tugnaw man with imagined snow and rain! :p

nihon turipu apr 4: flight of the goddess

2007-04-25T01:36:00.000+08:00

at 840 pm, i was onboard thai airways bound for bangkok. it was just a stopover with japan being my final destination. i was in bangkok's newest airport, suvarnabhumi, past 10 pm thailand time. my flight to japan was 730 in the morning on apr 5 so i originally planned of going out of the airport and go to silom where bangkok's night life bustles, hustles, and rustles. but since gulay goodness gracious, going out of the airport meant paying around 1,000 baht for roundtrip taxi plus 700 baht for the terminal fee, i decided against it and tried my luck on finding a spa inside the airport for a massage with extra service (body scrub po! you ha!). before i did that though, i tried my luck with the check-in counter ladies (not hotel check-in ladies mind you) to have my flight to japan moved at an earlier time.

i was surprised at the efficiency and the helpfulness of the two thai ladies at the check-in counter for transiting passengers. they got me a seat at the 12 midnight plane without shelling out a baht and bahting an eyelash! :p they were even able to have my luggage transferred from the 730 am plane to the 12 midnight plane! i was impressed since i did not expect them to be customer-oriented (i'll illustrate this when i account my trip back home! so watch out for it 19 days from now! hwek hwek hwek)

i had no pictures taken on this night as the suvarnabhumi airport hasn't made any picturesque impression on me except that it was humongous (bigger than japan's and singapore's airport, i think), the ceiling was still in a "skeletal" state, and the existence of travellators with a voice booming "the end of the walk is ahead. please watch your step." above you when you reach the end point the transporter.

and since my flight was made earlier than my original, i didn't get to have my authentic and blissful thai massage! darn! i was very much looking forward to the extra service even if a woman had to do it! wahahaha. mahilig kasi ako sa body scrub! kay flawless me. you noticed? hehehe. :p

apr 4 marked the start of my adventures/misadventures. i guess i was meant to experience an efficient service from the staff of suvarnabhumi airport on this night so that i would know how to close my account of this trip due to the experience i had while transiting on my way back to singapore. you'll learn what happen after 19 days nga! wehehehe.

i'm back! :)

2007-04-24T01:42:00.000+08:00

arrived sunday night. dead tired. after all the running i made at both narita and suvarnabhumi international airports. the running along with the ambivalent emotion i had for coming home punctuated my japan adventure. there are lots of tales to tell. a few i have to keep to myself. ahem! :p some i will share in confidence to close friends. weeeee. and most i will be broadcasting to the world via this self-praising blog of mine! hehehe.

so watch out for it in the coming days! i'm very much tempted to start blabbering about now but i have to get some sleep as i've been deprived of it most of my time on weekends there including this weekend when i was about to go home.

so i'll hold my stories for now. and i'll hold my breath as well for i would like to relay the events that transpired with gusto, hopefully, equaling the enthusiasm i had during my experiences.

watch out for it mga kababayan ko! lalo na jan sa mga nasa japan! wehehehe. :p

as requested

2007-04-18T21:11:00.000+08:00

i went to europe today, specifically, holland!

o ayan! :p

and now walang matutulugan... ah, meron na in a while... nakahanap na ng youth hostel ;)

mega adventure... di ko na yata magagawa ang pagtulog sa buddhist temple overnight :( sobrang mahal eh... ginastos ko na ang pang buddhist temple ko sa isang buffet lunch kanina with matching champagne... that was the most expensive food i bought for myself :p pero ang sarap grabeh! masarap pala ang food sa holland :p

ah, halo-halo pala ang food nun... hehehe

anyways more updates hopefully sa friday :) huwag mainip... may mga kuentong marami... everyday may THIZ IZ IT moments!

for roland

2007-04-10T10:36:00.000+08:00

dear sir,

i might be able to go to james' party, after all!

i won't email you about it. i'd like to see if you do have some extra-sensory capabilities to know or at least sense that you have to read my blog today and read this piece of letter. :p

anyways, i'll see you again on saturday evening. i was, actually, debating if i join you on saturday or on sunday. as you know i can't do both as i have to be in osaka for at least one day in a weekend this week. i chose going to saturday at the party instead as i can still interact with you, rather than going on sunday where i doubt if i can sneak into your life at that time. besides, i can ask you to sing on saturday for me! hahaha. nice plan, huh? that would probably be the best surprise! :p

so i'll see you then? send me email, sir. i'll call you too! ;)

see yah! mwah!

the dancing queen,
emman