sleeping beauty's wish

what wiser witch would do
than cast
a sleeping spell
with just a prick
from a single spindle
and have my father's kingdom
wait for you
for a hundred years

but, my prince
i do not wait for you
nor have i wished
for only a hundred years
of slumber

you see
it was not an easy feat
looking for that spindle
or for the kind hag
to escape
the humdrum world

please, my prince
do not place your lips
upon mine

why don't you just
leave me be

or

you could simply curl up beside me
and sleep as well

---
i wrote this as an answer to a poem posted in INQ's YOU website titled "Prince Charming's Lamentations". here's that poem: http://you.inq7.net/express/11242004/exp1-1.htm. my poem was also featured in YOU. check out this link: http://you.inq7.net/express/12082004/exp2-1.htm.

emmanuel

Emmanuel

God is with us : Hebrew

Versatile, intelligent and artistically talented. You love to enjoy yourself and tend to experience a happy domestic life and material success. You have a methodical and thorough mind and are able to organise large projects easily. Charming and likeable and with more than your share of sex appeal you tend to find yourself in the spotlight and much admired by others. Life is more fun with you around.

in simpler words: sex goddess! :p

--
check out: http://www.bostonuk.com/index.cfm?id=572

a pie from the sky

at some point in our struggle for something, we lose hope. take for example our fight for love. when you've fought hard to win the affection of someone who remains nowhere near to reciprocating your love, you start losing hope. you contemplate on giving up. you think of things that make further pursuit not worth doing. some would say to keep on fighting for it; but i would say there should be an end to the fight. it doesn't mean that you abandon everything totally. accepting defeat in a current aspect may give you opportunities to win in some. and who knows, the greater scheme of things might just give you more than what you've been bargaining for in your previous struggles!

life offers us some surprises. when you lose some, you gain some. when you let go of something, you might just get some pie from the sky; an answer to your deepest wishes. it might not be wishes you attach to falling stars, but wishes that reside deeper in our being. and this pie we get from the heavens may just turn out to be one of the handsomest surprises you ever get!

thank heavens for the freedom of letting go and for a new pie from the sky.

---

ano na naman tong nasulat ko? kailangan lang mag update ng blog. wala nang nababasa ang fans ko! hehehe. parang gusto ko lang siguro magkarun ng pie! :p

mga celebrities

i just watched earlier ryan seacrest's interview with tyra banks. both are one of "my" celebrities. the former being a celebrity love interest because of his striking resemblance to someone i went super gaga over in 2003, and not to mention ryan's wit. and the latter being the supermodel of supermodels. after finishing the interview, i stayed tuned to E! still watching the latest celebrity tidbits. after a while, i started to feel the silliness of being interested and engrossed in the lives of those celebrities. i told myself how pathetic it is to know the most trivial things about those celebrities when i have "real" people around me who should matter more; "real" people who happen to be my family, friends, and acquaintances. have i known some of them like i know some of those celebrities?

it's not bad to adore celebrities. it can be just sad that we sometimes know more about them than the people around us. i suddenly missed my friends and started looking at old pictures like this one with my college barkada, the igats. and good thing i've been receiving messages lately from a lot of friends who just wanted to keep in touch, and i, in turn answered and sent out messages to some. and lately i've been having this penchant for writing testimonials to everyone! that's a good start huh?

i just remembered joey's post in his blog about "celebrity dreams". read it at http://jobarclix.blog-city.com/update_20060727_celebrity_dreams.htm. the people who matter should indeed be our celebrities! ;)

visit joe's blog at http://jobarclix.com/ and http://jobarclix.blog-city.com/. they're the best blogs in the whole wide world. simply my favorite! ;)

taboo daw

earlier i had a chat with a colleague regarding a volunteer work i was considering of doing. as we progressed in our discussion, i relayed my involvement in a homosexual group before that was formed as a support community for gays in cebu. it was obvious that he was taken aback when i told him that i was gay. actually, the reaction he had merited my "inner" laughing because when i said "i'm a homosexual", he immediately pressed his index finger to his lips to hush me while looking around with paranoia written all over his face. he said "it's a taboo here to say you're homosexual".

apparently, a lot of my officemates only toyed the idea that i might be gay but never concluded that i really am despite the way i flaunt myself like my swishy swoosh runway walk, or sultry voice, or my designer tight so gay outfits! hehehe. the gay scenario and awareness in singapore is totally different in the philippines. if i were just sitting somewhere in the philippines without batting an eyelash, people would instinctively know that i'm of the higher kind, the diyosa! hehehe.

i didn't witness this kind of shock learning about my sexuality from this guy alone. i had two more officemates who were surprised with my openness. of course i told them "haller! am i not obvious???". one conversation even went like this:

she: are you serious.
me: yes, of course.
she: then why are you so open about it?
me: why not?
she: how did your company and colleagues before take it?
me: oh they love me!
she: really?
me: really really.

hehehe. oh, well. it's about time singapore learn true gayness and the beauty that comes with it! and with me! :p

team vts

of course, the blast of all blasts of the teams i was in was the vts team in nsp cebu. we were the craziest bunch thanks to crazy gly, crazy noel, crazy nanie, silent but crazy pong, silent but crazy korn, and most of all, alluring but crazy me! hehehe.

the picture was taken during our christmas party last year which was crazily made. imagine, there were only 6 of us yet we made a program for our party complete with invitation cards, opening remarks, welcome address, games, raffle draw (consisting of pepsi, cornflakes, bottled iced tea, pringles, etc), claim stub for the food, closing remarks, sing and dance presentation and contest, and my farewell walk and speech due to my resignation. and our exchanging gifts was worth 1,500 pesos each!!! just take a look at the picture at what each of us received! hahaha.

the vts was sooooooooo much fun! you were the best guys... i miss you all TOO! :D

unraveling

watch me
as i unclose myself
like a flower

petal by petal

my stories

shall unfold

before your eyes

- this was the heading i had to my old blog -

grrrr

wag na wag nyo kong gagalitin!

send me a wind

* this is one of my favorite poems i wrote way back in 2003 *

hey

you there

sitting

on your throne

atop

the clouds

send me

a wind

strong enough

to carry

me to you

for

my wings

are too

small

and feeble

to lift me

to your

kingdom

for me

to worship

you

and

your body

palpably

with my lips

and to hold

and feel

your skin

with my being...

hey

you there

god of my skies

catch

a bird

and listen

to its song

for

i've whispered

to it

my longing

team tmf-agent

i was scouring through my collection of pictures last night in search for a childhood photo of myself. i found myself looking at old pictures instead and came to fondly remember friends and colleagues like my team mates in NSP manila way back in 2002. we were a bunch of young, talented, and beautiful guys and gals building to success what seemed to be an impossible project that time: the tmf-agent.

this photo brightens my day because despite of the nerve-wrackingly tight deadlines and horrendous overtimes, the team bonded and was having fun being together. aside from that, we learned cool technical stuffs (like corba, orbix, openorb, versant, roguewave, etc) and more importantly cool personal stuffs about each other. the team members are now in different corners of the world; but before we parted, the poetic juices of yours truly oozed out just before i went home to cebu for good that time.

our voyage

we boarded the ship of the unknown
each, armed only with a torch of hope
to prosper in each' assigned quest
and conquer fears both within and without

when on we faced the capricious sea
we each held on to his own rail of knowledge
but time, an ally, bound us in a knot
a blessing preparing us for tempests to come

indeed storms beset us, both great and small
but through a united hand we kept our sails aright
though some travails had been dreadful and tiring
our common goal had kept our will lit and going

and now to some this voyage's end is nearing
as each' land of dreams ahead can be seen
but be deceived not of their joyful smiles
deep within tears trickle for the ship they've known

and i am one of those who'll say adieu
and whose heart is stricken with pangs of sadness
though i'll wave farewell to kiss my land
i'll remember you everytime i breathe a salty air

to those who'll continue the journey of this ship
with certainty, you'll triumph over the tempestuous sea
and by every ounce of sweat should you fight
then your own land of dreams won't be far from sight

and hail, most of all, to the captain great
our beacon, her unyielding wisdom and care
in the darkest struggles we waged against the sea
we surmounted them all through her steady light

and i have penned in so little words
the adventures of this voyage we've shared for long
although in separate ways we'll sail or tread
in our hearts memories are carved of feats unsaid

quote of the night

no butts, no glory!

bilas, atbp

kahapon may natutunan akong bagong tagalog word: bilas. courtesy of mareng sue. mega react ako internally sa isip isip ko kasi parang bastos ang dating. sa cebuano kasi, iba na ang meaning pag pinalitan mo ng "t" ang "s" sa bilas. o sige, palitan mo ng "t" ang "s". bigkasin ulit. pakiulit ulit. di ba ang laswa? hehehe. :p

so ano nga ba ang bilas? sabi ni sue, ako at si johnny daw ay bilas. ava! may tawag pala sa relasyon namin ng fafa nya! hehehe. ang pagkaintindi ko dun ay bilas ang tawag sa kasintahan ng kaibigan mo. mali! bilas pala ang tawagan kapag ang dalawang taong walang koneksyon ay nagkaron ng koneksyon dahil sa dalawang taong merong koneksyon. ang koneksyon na ito ay dugo! ewww. hehehe. malabo? si johnny at ako ay walang dugo, este, koneksyon pala (hindi kami magkadugo kasi pula blood nya, berde naman sa kin hwek hwek hwek). si sue at ako ay walang koneksyon din (kahit delinquent twin sisters kami, hindi kami galing sa isang ama't ina). so pano kami naging bilas ni johnny? eh di pano pa? sa letrang B! ava! ikinasal na ko ni mareng sue sa kapatid nya! talaga naman! botong boto ang kumare ko sa kin! :p

napakagandang word pala nitong bilas! eto na naman ako sa letrang B. napaisip naman ako, kung sakaling ikasal nga kami ng kapatid ni kumareng sue, meron na akong monicker naming mag-asawa: the bald and the beautiful! o diva? mga B na naman! hehehe... pero, eto pa, mag-iiba na pala ang magiging tawag sa kin o ang tawag ko sa ibang tao. makiki-mum na rin ba ako kay tita? ano ang tawag namin ni sue na kumare ko at delinquent twin sister ko??? mag-aate na ba ako kay sarj? :p may k ba ako? of course naman! nagkaron din ako ng K sa buhay ko! :p at finally, ano ang tawagan namin? baby na lang! hehehe. :p

at sa ibang balita naman, kahapon din ang daming nakaalala sa akin! may mga nag-email. may mga nag-post sa blog. may mga nag text. ava! maligayang pasko talaga! nag-aantay yata ng aginaldo! hehehe. pero in times like these, i don't need a juicy fruit gum. napapaisip lang ako bakit may mga times lang na kung maalala ka ng mga kaibigan o kaIbigan mo, parang lahat naman yata ng kakilala mo ang nakaalala sayo sa isang araw! tulad kahapon. nagkaron pa ko ng friendster testi galing sa isa! (thanks mark :) so touchy you hehehe) sa mga times na to, naiisip ko tuloy, end of the world na ba para sa kin? at bigla akong naalala ng mga kaibigan ko ng sabay sabay? baka nag-astral projection ako sa harap ng mga kaibigan ko at eto ang mga naiisip nila nung nakita nila ang aking astral representative:

1. ang ganda talaga ni emms. ma-email nga.
2. ang sexy talaga ni emms. ma-text nga.
3. nakaka-miss ang kabaliwan ni emman. mabasa nga ang blog at mag message.
4. ang sawap talaga ni emms. ma-tawagan nga! :p

sa mga nakaalala sa kin kahapon, maraming salamat po! miss ko na rin kayo! ;)

at sa iba pang balita, ang gay persons of color na blog ni james ay nanalo ng GOLD for best cultural blog and SILVER sa best new blog sa canadian blog awards! sa mga lahat ng bomoto, maraming maraming salamat po! visit nyo po blog nya parati. :)

kagabi, iginala din namin ni romae si lindo sa clark quay and robertson quay para naman makita nya ang alkaff bridge na dinesign ni pacita abad. nag-dinner kami sa indochine. wow! fine vietnamese dining! and to top it all off, sa kabilang table ay merong napaka-super-duper gorgeous na lalaki na nakita namin. sabi ko kamukha nya si roland, my swiss friend. at since kamukha nya, tinawagan ko na rin sya. nakaka-miss na rin syang kausap. with roland, nasabi ko nga opposites do attract. sobrang different kami. masyadong maayos at mabagal magsalita si roland while ako naman parang armalite kung mag-ratatatat sa pagsalita sa kanya. pero nagkakaintindihan naman kami! ;) at syempre pa hindi natapos ang gabi ng walang pa-cutean with the gorgeous guy! the rest was then history! :p

hay, salamat sa word na bilas... :D

to the one you love or to the one who loves you?

in february 1999 during a toastmasters meeting's table topics, i had three people role-play based on this question:

would you choose the one you love or the one who loves you?

that time, i had a formula as an answer to that. if you're a woman, go to the one who loves you; but, if you're a man, choose the one you love. i used to believe this based on "my" premise that a woman falls in love easily. a man who goes to the woman he loves, with the latter falling in love with him in time, will be a happy man. a woman who chooses the man who loves her, with the latter adoring his beloved, will fall in love in time and will be a happy woman. it's a formula for a happy ending. it was even validated by the result of my toastmasters role-playing game when the lady i asked to choose between two guys chose the one who loved her (the one who promised her devotion and love) instead of the one she loved (the other who promised her sweet nothings and excitement with no strings attached).

this time, though, i'm thrashing this formula. it is outmoded and filled with loopholes. primarily, it does not serve the homosexual and bisexual scenarios! ;) apart from that, having observed a lot of people (myself included) who are/were in an uncompromising situation of having someone to love and someone who loves them (or at least someone whom they think loves them) and choose between the two, made me rethink what i believed. even if i put myself in the shoes of a woman, it is not easy at all to choose. no matter how special you are treated by someone, you always go back to the one who is special for you.

i'm no longer banking on my old formula. it just might turn out to be a formula for disaster rather than for happy endings. i'm already in limbo as to how to answer the question i posed many years back. the times have changed. people's cultures and mode of thinking have changed. people have become bisexuals and trisexuals. it is not easy to choose between the one you love and the one who loves you when you're intent on becoming truly happy with someone. it's just difficult!

well, no matter the difficulty, in the end, we just have to make a choice and never regret when looking back. for me, it still holds true that happiness can be born out of a choice one makes.