FLAMES

we started out as Friends
and almost became Lovers
i've always been your Admirer
dreaming of someday Marrying you
though recent things have made us
act like Enemies, cold and unbending
part of me is still hoping
we'll end up as Sweethearts for eternity

we have all letters covered
in this rollercoaster relationship of ours
but when we do everything by the rules
you remain my Admirer
while i act like we're Enemies
but we'll still end up together
as Lovers for ever after
weeeeeeeeee


------

hehehe. i feel so teeny bopper today! :p

nihon turipu apr 14: the center of attraction

i started apr 14 on the dot. as in at the strike of 12 midnight on apr 14 (tama ba? 14 na pag 12 midnight?), i was rhythmically gyrating to disco music at arty farty in shinjuku with roland and our newfound friends kazuya and jun. i think it was around that time that i became drunk that i started to dance with people i didn't know. hehehe. people around were looking at me. instant star si emman! :p

although i was drunk, i was still sane enough to ignore those guys who were giving me more than either admiring or disgusted looks. (hey, you can't please everyone with your dancing! hehehe). some were giving me the "come on baby. you're too hot to be left alone. you need to cool down. come here to be wetted!" hwek hwek hwek. of course, i went there to dance with roland lang noh! :p

roland wasn't overshadowed by my exotic beauty and groovy moves at all. my friend is a hottie so he got a lot of attention from everyone around us as well, especially from the japanese guys. but we're not easy to get or, worse, sluts, so we had to ward off all those temptations around us. somehow, without planning or really talking about it beforehand, we started introducing ourselves as lovers to the guys coming up to us who were either not our type or were just plain nuisance. hehehe. besides, naibigay ko na kay roland si kazuya. aba! ba't bigla kang nagtagalog emman? eh kasi po, baka mabasa ito ng mamang kaibigan ko at magalit. masyado syang sensitibo na ipagkalat ko ang mga ginawa namin! hehehe. pero wala naman actually eh. hindi dapat big deal pero alam nyo na, mahirap nang magtampo pa sya. baka di na nya ako padalhan ng sustento para sa ginawa naming bata, este, mga regalo pala tulad ng libro at tsokolate at postcards. :p

nakilala lang pala namin si kazuya nung gabing yun. actually, ninakaw ko sya sa isa pang kakilala ni roland na kasayaw ni kazuya. yup, patok na patok itong si kazuya sa mga caucasians! buti na lang kasama nya si jun at may kasayaw ako habang ang kaibigan ko at itong si kazuya ay sumasayaw sa sarili nilang mundo na masyadong masikip at madikit at mabagal kahit ang tugtog ay pang-warla! :p buti na lang at game si jun sa lahat ng kalokohan ko sa sayaw. masaya! :D

at past 4am yata, the four of us with the addition of shinichi (kaibigan nina kazuya and jun) went for early breakfast at jonathan's, a famous 24 hour restaurant in japan. nawala na ang kalasingan ko but that was the first time that roland heard me sing. eh pano ba naman? ang mga pinapatutog sa restaurant were songs that i knew how to sing like "what if" and "my heart will go on". lumabas ang pagiging showgirl ko! hehehe. aba, titig na titig. di makapaniwala na aside from dancing diva eh, singing diva din pala ang kaibigan nya! :p sinabihan na nya ako the previous week nung una naming disco na gusto nya yung pag sayaw ko. eto na naman, namangha sya sa pagkanta ko. plus plus ganda points! :p

at around 6am, we went our separate ways with jun keeping on asking me when i was going back. uy, na in love din! hehehe. i told them kasi na i was going to osaka and the whole week i'd bee travelling to different places. i promised him i'd meet them the next friday. we bid adieu with a hug! charing! at around 8am i was in ueno retrieving my trolley bag from a locker and getting a bullet train ticket to osaka. my departure was 11am pa so i had to sit in one of the seats in the waiting area inside the station and slept. wala kaya akong tulog since apr 13 ng umaga!

i arrived at osaka at past 1pm. kay met me there. we went to her apartment and rested for a couple of hours. at 4pm, we headed off to umeda to visit one of my castles. :p


the sakuras in osaka were beautiful!!!


at night, we still went to the sky garden, much like an observatory, to get a view of osaka city at night. lovely!

surprisingly, i wasn't too wasted despite having only about 3 hours of sleep na putol putol pa! tingnan nyo, maganda pa rin di ba? :p hehehe. that view is still at osaka castle.

this day was filled with attractions at the start of the day pa lang like at the strike of 12 midnight! this was one of the most memorable days during my trip! ;) too bad lang, i couldn't go back to tokyo anymore to accompany roland at james' party. i was looking forward to getting to know james pa naman. sayang! di na talaga kaya ng powers.

on the bright side, i got to get to know better someone else who proved to be one of the good friends one can make, my host kay. i thought of her kasi dati na a bit reserved and mahinhin. hay naku, buhakhak kung mokatawa, tabian pa sa tanang tabian, and just so much fun ikuyog! hehehe. what was most touching was kay really showed me around. good thing pud na nagkasama kami kasi her eyes were opened to the wonderful past time of boyz looking and admiring! hehehe.

thanks for the hospitality kay and rose! ;) (rose was kay's amiable housemate who's as sweet as staying at home hehehe) mwah!

dream salary

ang sarap magkaron ng 90k USD na annual salary noh? very tempting. pero sayang. walang IT! hay! hehehe

http://pinoyjobiraq.blogspot.com/

apply na! :p

missed connections

it is no mystery that there are people whom we connect with. some happen instantaneously the moment you meet someone. some are nurtured over time through constant communication. and some are a combination of both: you click with someone on the first meeting and your affinity towards each other grows and deepens as you get to know each other. it is no mystery because it happens. we all establish connections with others, may it be friendly, romantic, or familial. these are the connections we deem special compared to our relationships with ordinary acquaintances.

but it is a mystery why some of these connections, at some point, lose their strength or, worse, become severed. there might be reasons why the waning or the cutting of these special kinships happen such as distance, misunderstanding, neglect, or cowardice. at the moment it starts to wane or when it is cut, it is no mystery; but over time when you try to remember and re-trace all the things that transpired leading to such dis-connections, it becomes a mystery. sometimes you fail to understand whatever happened. even if you recall the reasons, you miss what used to be there brought by the good times and even the bad times that were never allowed to bring the relationship down. mystery, after all, is characterized by confusion and uncertainties.

we miss our connections when we remember them. we miss our connections when time has healed all there is to heal. we miss our connections when we feel lonely. we miss our connections when everything in our lives are turning out perfectly well because behind that seemingly perfect life we know the connections that were lost. whatever happenstance that brings us to missing our lost connections, something tugs at us to rekindle those connections for they were, are, and will be lovely. not beautiful lovely but love lovely. all we need to do is reestablish the communication. even those connections that were lost severely due to grave misunderstandings or quarrelling can be bridged. all one has to do is reach out. the wonderful connections can be regained. that is no mystery because that can be done by choice as long as pride is stripped away.

nihon turipu apr 13: pressing matters

i was tense on this day. i couldn't decide what to do. i only had two sure things. first, i had to leave sendai on this day, be at kita-senju, and have dinner with old friends: kobayashi-san and yuko-chan. second, i had to meet roland afterwards.

my dilemma was, or rather, my dilemmas were:
1. after meeting roland would i be able to catch the last bullet train to osaka? what time was the last train???
2. if i stayed all night until the wee hours of the morning with roland, where would i sleep??? what time was i going to osaka?
3. if i went to osaka in the morning the next day, april 14, will i ever be able to make it back at around 8 pm to tokyo to attend a party where roland invited me??? would i still be able to tour osaka if i did that??? waaaahhh...
4. do i attend the party on the 14th? or just watch roland's choral performance on the 15th instead?

kakalito!

you see, roland told me earlier in the week that he had planned two surprises for me. one was he'd bring me to a party on april 14 where i would be able to meet james whom he introduced to me via the latter's blog (http://www.gay-persons-of-color.blogspot.com). the other was he reserved a ticket for me to his choral concert on april 15. i'd been bugging him about letting me watch him sing when i found out in 2005 that he's in a choir. he planned for it, pala! gosh! laglag me that day! :p eh? wasn't it supposed to be a surprise? why did he tell me that, you may ask. it was because i told him of my plans of staying in osaka on april 14 and 15. he had no choice but to tell me his surprise plans so that i could make some adjustments. ang lolo nyo nga naman. he was probably thinking na everyday sa kanya ako. tsk tsk tsk. hehehe.

i was calculating my days against the places i planned to go to. my plan was shaken because of his planned surprises. i wanted to meet james and i'd been waiting for the moment that i could see roland sing on stage! i was finally going to be able to get what i demanded because, apparently, he's too shy to have his friends watch him sing! but i also promised my friend kay in osaka that i'd be there on a weekend. osaka and tokyo are 2.5 hours away from each other by bullet train. gosh! what was i to do?

hmmm... you'll find out in the next posts... hehehe :p

what i did on april 13 was i left sendai. waaaahhh, bye bye na kay auntie si ea.

i went to kita-senju to meet kobayashi-san. i arrived at the meeting place first! wow, that was something new, emman arriving early! hehehe. i knew that a certain mr. zambi was also coming with us. while there, i saw a filipino guy na nagpapa-cute. ilabas ko na ba ang pepper spray ko??? hehehe. he turned out to be zambi who told me that he recognized me as we've met before in 2004 at his training center. i told him i didn't remember him at all! hahaha.

before going for dinner, zambi, kobayashi-san, and i went to an exhibit featuring the bombing of tokyo in 194gotten (read as nineteen forgotten) hehehe. i can't recall the year actually. sowee.


then we went to an exhibit on the art of pressing flowers, fruits, and leaves. sugoi ne! the frame below is just one of the many framed collections of pressed flowers, fruits, and leaves.


below, we were trying our own hands at pressing flowers and leaves in a postcard. zambi had a better flair at it than moi! how embarrassing for a girl! hehehe.

then dinner with two old very good friends, kobayashi-san (leftmost) and yuko-chan (the lady sandwiched between the two other ladies) and three new friends. :)

after dinner, went straight to shinjuku to meet roland. i found out from the station that the last train to osaka was at 9pm. i was going to stay overnight at the disco with roland after all! weeee!

so what happened next? it's for the apr 14 account. teeheee! :p

will i ever be there?

i guess i have to remove mexico from my list. but thailand? well they're road accidents. but avoid ladyboys??? gosh! are they as dangerous as pirates and rebels??? why avoid them when they're lovely??? hehehe.

to know what i'm talking about, visit: http://www.nmg-uk.com/blog/holidays/10-most-dangerous-holiday-destinations.html.

nihon turipu apr 12: auntie's love for birdies

it was one of the most memorable days during my trip. with otik and ea in matsushima bay, around 30 minutes away from sendai. matsushima is known as one of the three most scenic spots in japan due to its pine clad islets. the islets looked like big rocks to me protruding out of the water. they didn't look special really to me. probably because i'm used to seeing a lot of islands in cebu because of my wanderlust that brings me to different places. the matsushima islets would have probably looked sublime in winter when the they're covered with snow. thats' what i saw in the postcards. hehehe. hmmm, siguro partly why i didn't get to see the beauty of these islets was because i got so engrossed with a lot of birdies: the seagulls of matsushima bay.


they were following our ferry due to people feeding them. i tried to feed them with fries. nakatingin yan pero actually they never bothered to catch the fries i threw at them.


kaya pala! they didn't want any other food other than the prawn crackers being sold sa loob ng ferry. aba, kinontrata yata ng ferry owners yung mga gulls na huwag kumain ibang food para bumili yung mga tao ng binebenta nila. business partnership yata eto. tsk tsk tsk. hehehe. so i bought one na lang. pero bakit ganun? feel na feel ko ang paghahagis pero walang kumuha!!!


dinaanan lang nila ako. hmph!


bigay ko na lang kaya sa hapong to. ready na sya o. naka-nganga na eh! hehehe.

sa wakas at napansin na rin!!!


tukain mo na birdie! :p

after the ferry ride, the otik, ea, and i surveyed the surroundings of matsushima. we went to temples, bridges, trees, and shops. ea took hold of her mommy's camera and just started shooting at us!!! buti na lang magaling kaming mag-pose ni otik! at nakapasok kami sa karamihang shots ng isang 3 year old. hehehe.


one notable characteristic ni ea is how she refers to herself as a third person. she doesn't use the first person pronouns like "i" and "me". it's always ea. she'd say "mommy, punta si ea duon?" or "auntie, ea wants to play" or "daddy, gutom si ea". hehehe. kakatuwang bata. i guess she got that from her parents who would always use her name in all things they say like "gutom na si ea?" or "uu si ea?" hehehe.

at syempre pag mahaba ang araw ng lakwatsa at may batang kasama, ang bata ay susumpungin ng pa-cute with matching pa-cry-cry. hehehe. buti na lang, ice cream always hushes a chikiting like ea.


the day was fun but tiring. good thing we had a very heavy dinner of gyuu tongue or ox tongue! i eat lengua estofada in the philippines so kinaya ko naman ang grilled ox tongue! masarap sya in fairness especially i paired it with sparkling wine! gibati og ka laishu si emman! :p

hay, that's one of those experiences that makes me want to go back there and do everything all over again.

vote for danton remoto

philippine elections is coming up. i haven't registered here. have i become apathetic? i don't think so. more of forgetful really and just engrossed with my own world inside my head. hehehe. so a little selfish, probably, but not apathetic to the affairs of my ever so beloved country. i still listen to those who rant about philippine politics and throw in my opinions from time to time.

whether i'll be able to vote or not on may 14th, i'd like to promote one candidate: danton remoto. apart from his running contemporaries, he's the only and the first openly gay candidate in the philippines who'll be fighting for gay rights. we already have a number of politicians who have similar promises. whether they keep those promises or not is a different story. we should add someone who will do something for the minority. and it is not just any someone. danton remoto is a u.p. professor who had been actively involved in gay movements in the philippines. that just shows his dedication as well his track record of getting things done.

here's a short article about him: http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/07/04/01/10115203.html.

and oh, we already have a representative actually in the government. he hadn't confirmed it even though jokes have been circulating around about his hybrid nationality being half filipino half filipina. it is sad that he hasn't done anything for his sisters (of the rainbow flag). he has busied himself, instead, bickering with our petite governor in cebu. they enjoy calling each other igat (malandi) in public. you know what they say, in the philipines the politicians provide the entertainment.

be sure to vote for danton! :) para naman maging free na ang mga girlalous na gawing mas lalong makulay ang pilipinas. kasi imagine na lang natin na wala ang mga girlalou...

or imagine natin na suppressed or reppressed si emman...

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hindi carry di ba? unimaginably sad! hehehe. kaya vote na! pero pangalan ni danton remoto ang ilagay nyo sa balota at hindi pangalan ko ha! :p

reason to rejoice and be gay

in singapore, sexual acts between men is punishable by imprisonment; but, there's good news. lee kuan yew has pronounced his intentions of introducing an amendment to the bill banning gay sex. late last year, the law against unnatural sexual acts between straight people had been removed. (unnatural daw ang oral sex and excluded pa rin ang mga diyosa)

this is a good step. people will be coming out. singapore will be filled with colors!

can't wait to make this place gay! teehee!

read more pala of the report at http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/04/042307singapore.htm

nihon turipu apr 11: auntie arrives in sendai

from nagaoka, i went back to omiya in tokyo to go to sendai as there aren't any trains that go directly from niigata to sendai. my plans of travelling on late nights or dawn (like 12 midnight to 2 am) so that i could arrive at my destinations on early mornings (like 5 or 6 am) never happened as the last bullet trains going anywhere are usually at 9 pm. so i ended up sleeping at my friends' houses at night and travel the next day at noon time even if i woke up early.

at sendai, i was graciously welcomed by the the wing family: the debonair wayne, the gorgeous otik, and their loveable daughter ea (pronounce it as ee-yah people and not e-a hehehe), who is a carbon copy of her daddy.

i was treated to a gastronomically appetizing and fulfilling meal in a fresh seafood restaurant which cost my hosts one laps (isang lapad hehehe or 10k yen in figures wow!)

the raw fishes tasted great! but i had to taste the shrimp too. it was sweet and slimy. i really wouldn't do it again if you ask me, although the taste wasn't really bad.

i think i just wouldn't be able to take it anymore after tasting them raw shrimps while i knew that their kins were swimming in some aquariums near us. i'd rather have them cooked in butter next time, thank you!

ea brought much of the laughter that night. first, when she was looking at the live seafood an the side of our table, she suddenly exclaimed "SPIDER!!!" while pointing to a group of crabs. i wonder if tobey maguire would still look hot if his spidey costume included pinchers as his hands and eyes that pop out and move like antennas right in front and above his forehead. wehehehe.

secondly, while i had to endure the pain of hearing ea's mommy teaching her cute daughter how to regard me like "oh, ea smile at uncle", "ea listen to uncle", or "ea, go to uncle", this very bright chikiting, when we left the restaurant, just suddenly called me "auntiiiiieeeeeeeeeee"

weeeee! i didn't know if should jump for joy with that as i felt old being called auntie. ba't di na lang tita, ea ha? buti na lang wala tayo sa singapore! hehehe. but i guess it was better than uncle! :p

of course, i had a great meal (raw shrimps included) with great people (uncle references included) hehehe :p

thanks wayne, otik, and ea! mwah! :D