the return of the queen

if my memory serves me right, i had my last entry to this forsaken blog of mine november last year. i've still occassionally visited this blog since then thanks to some people who asked me if i had my own blog. i would pay it a visit and reread the entries then tell these people of the URL. as always, i've been tempted to rewrite my first short story titled "coming out" (like now) but i just don't have the motivation to do so. i feel lazy doing anything especially when i'm here at the office trying hard to get it through the day.

awww, i'm feeling a bit melancholic. not so me if you compare me to how i projected myself in my old posts. plenty of things have changed since november; not actually just changed but plenty of things happened that altered my views in the many facets of this so-called life of mine.

yesterday, an old high school friend's friend read my palms! i kept teasing him about my lovelife and about any dormant psychic powers i had which i pestered him to awaken for me! i'm sure he was a bit irritated with me but he gave me simple but profound "readings" nevertheless. he said i made many problems. in contemplation, i'd have to say he is right. i complicate things. i seem to many to be an adventurous person. i am. but i sometimes take my adventures to the negative side of things. thus sometimes i create my own problems. these are things which i should be forgetting but i tend to mull about over and over again in the duration of weeks or months. and this mulling takes me to bitterness and anger --- at my job, at others, at myself.

pathetic! that's how i'd pronounce of myself if i would be staring at me from an outside perspective of myself. but i've had these feelings before and i've emerged quite well from them. though i can be really bitter, i do not dwell in bitterness far too long. i'd say i'm still able to pick up the lessons despite all the resistance boiling within me.

anyways, as i write, my words become mixed up reflecting the perplexities that are housed in my soul right now. i have to get rid of them soon; these confusion and bitterness of mine. well, i'll be doing that soon enough. i'll be ushering out of my system all these anger, confusion and bitterness. soon. soon. soon. and i'll be bidding goodbye the thanklessness where i am in right at this moment.