superman returns (a film review)

note: this is not your ordinary film review. you get that everywhere! :p

my gaaaaaaaddddddddddddddd!!!! ang guhapo nya!!!!!!


that's brandon routh! the next big thing! well, aside from being rumored to have been so big in the, uh, (how do i say it?) meaty department (for lack of a more decent yet catchy word), i predict (and more often than not, i am right coz i'm perfect) that he's going to be a big star like the divine and unforgettable christopher reeve.

for one, there's some resemblance between the two. take a look:


meron diva? kung di nyo nakita, ay magpatingin kayo sa optometrist! :p according to sue, her friend, russel, while watching the movie exclaimed that it's a bit creepy sometimes because there were moments in the movie that even the voice was similar to the late superman actor. sobrang fan siguro si russel ng superman for him to say that. ako di ko alam. pero i believe him. guapo kasi si brandon! hehehe. it brings me to my next point, sobrang na-gu-guapuhan ako kay brandon kasi he looks like my super duper crush na actor, si albert martinez! look, look, look:


ang guapo noh? ang daming beses naputol yung panty ko while watching! :p parang pinaghalong christopher reeve and albert martinez si brandon. kaya SUPER duper perfect MAN!

the movie was perfect except for some minor things which i think shouldn't be that big deals! unang una, i noticed na parang may mali sa katawan nya! walang proof nung rumored big thing! hehehe. i read somewhere that that part was digitally edited so as not to "bother" the children who'd be watching! pero seriously, that's not what i really noticed ha. i found his body too big. may moments na hindi perfect yung proportion between his abdomen and chest. while surfing earlier for his pics, there was one comment including an edited pic, that the "S" shield on his suit is small. it could have been improved by making it bigger. his abdomen would have looked smaller. i saw the edited pic, and totoo nga, mas maganda ang dating if mas malaki ung shield. sorry, i forgot the link of that. :( surf nyo na lang. hehehe.

secondly, hindi man lang sya umuwi sa nanay nya para mag-hi-hello or beso beso man lang! mas pinuntahan pa nya si lois! i cringed a bit at the part where his mother, martha, was waiting outside the hospital. feeling ko tuloy, magiging kalaban si martha sa next installment ng superman! ano kayang magiging power nya? sagging skin attack superman! parang blob! super elastic perfect skin na mahirap talunin ng steel! :p

thirdly, hindi pa rin nila kita ung semblance ni superman at ni clark kent??? haller! spot the difference lang kaya:


tanggalin mo lang ung glasses nya, hubaran sya, at imbis mousse ang gamitin eh gel, superman na sya di ba??? well, at least it stayed true to the original superman series where kamukha ni christopher reeve ung sarili nya as superman and clark kent! eh ano pa nga ba? it makes the movie actually endearing for it to retain it's original plot.

suot pa nya lagi sa ilalim ung costume nya. parang undergarment. pano kaya nya napagkasya sa likod ung cape nya? or baka nakatupi lang. hehehe

and finally, as commented by my ever beauteous friend romae, merong religious innuendos ung movie. tama sya! hindi nga subtle eh. right in your face talaga! remember the lines from kal-el's father? ung mga i sent you chu-chu to the world. aba saviour!!! and then when superman himself told his sleeping son: "the father becomes the son. the son becomes the father." aba! jesus christ! :D kulang na lang holy ghost para maging trinity! and then if you saw the movie, pay attention to how superman fell right after inihagis nya ung big mass of land made from the crystal and kryptonite sa space. di ba, sign of the cross!!! hehehe

well, maganda ung movie! eh, bakit naman hindi? kahit pa kung naging pangit ung story, ang guapo kaya ni brandon! sabi pa nga ni romae, "i like the movie. but i like him better." so the story doesn't matter that much! hehehe

hay, brandon, will you be my superman and save me from him who must not be named? :p