regret

i was hurt. very hurt. i didn't know if i would be able to get through the pain of losing him. for there was only him. and no one else. yet i had to let go. it was the only way to save myself from further pain. letting go is always the only way to free ourselves from things that we bind ourselves with like unrequited love.

i had to find someone else. i had to have a savior. i had to give myself to someone else.

yes, i found someone else. someone whom i asked to promise me many things. like undying devotion and untarnished love. i made this someone promise me to take care of me. so, i gave myself and my all to this new someone.

but now i regret giving myself to this someone who promised me the world. this someone's promises of taking good care of me and my body along with my reckless surrender bore me something i never expected. something i never wanted.

it is starting to show. no matter how hard i tried to hide it, people are taking notice. i never thought that the heartache which started six months ago would bring about something unwanted through the redeeming promises of someone else whom i came to depend on during the painful nights of recollection.

now i regret for having allowed my supposed savior to keep his promises.

my tummy is getting bigger. everybody's noticing.

i shouldn't have talked myself into meticulously taking care of my health more because my idea of taking care of myself more was feeding myself more and more. i'm getting fatter. i look like i'm 2 months pregnant. arrrggghhh... i shouldn't have asked MYSELF to promise MYSELF to eat really really delicious food and eat plenty and plenty of them!

it's better to vent out your heartaches to others, strangers included. because if you depend solely on yourself in dealing with it, you'll either eat or not eat.

now i have a big tummy! waaaaaahhhhhh!!!

hehehe... para lang may maisulat! weeeeeee... :p