vuzy az a vee

i'm going home. oct 24. till oct 30. gosh! would that be enough? so many things to do. so little time. kailangang: bday party for my mama (pronounced as mamahhh), meet the friendships, pampering at senses twice, hair makeover at franz, meet the igats, visit fe and my inaanak jeya, girlalou laag with some girlalous, meet d---e-, meet -r---, meet -d-, meet j-----a-, attend toastmasters, weekend mania in boljoon (in my dreams baby!), and of course shopping galore!

but before i go, do i even have time to finish all my tasks here??? i'm waiting for deliverance while working out for my deliveries!!!

kaya ko toh! darna!

soulmates

i never had a firm belief (or disbelief) about soulmates. at some point in my life, i believed in people having soulmates. but at this time, as i think about it, i believe that a soulmate is just something that people want to believe to exist because they are longing for that someone to fill a void in their lives, someone to understand them, someone whom they can share interests, hopes, and dreams with, someone to defy the world with, someone to fully open up with. but if we really think about it, we can do this with ordinary people around us especially with people whom we can love or who can love us.

but if one meets such person, one might just consider him a soulmate nevertheless because he fits the description. it isn't that bad to believe in soulmates after all. but what we should be conscious about is that we don't have to wait for that kind of person. we just have to be open as well as open our eyes. love is just lurking around in some people for us. they can just very well be our soulmates. they break through us if we allow them to. we can share with them our dreams if we want to. they can fill the void in our lives if we open up ourselves to them.

fair nga ba?

they say all is fair in love and war. but what if your rival has an advantage over you? like in the case of love, even if you have more love to give than your rival, but the object of both of your affections will, predictably, choose your rival because of what she has that you don't. in my case, my rival has the V to be proud of just by being a woman. anong panlaban ko dun?

the soft side

i always feel a pinch in my heart every time i witness softness in a person especially from a person whom one doesn't expect to show some emotion.

earlier i witnessed someone whom i just recently come to know a little bit more, someone who i think epitomizes a hyperactive and outgoing personality, wipe the tiny tears forming from the side of his eyes that tried to betray his jovial personality. and he wasn't even ashamed to exclaim that he was teary eyed!

it's admirable to see someone like that and from someone whom i think has gone through a lot with his life but has kept a very sunny disposition.

i wish him well in his life! ;) and i wish all those with a soft heart well in life. well, actually, i wish everyone well in his life! :D

friendster and trust

i was walking down memory lane earlier via friendster. i looked at friends' photos. while looking at their pictures, i remember how i had formed bonds with them. it makes me smile recalling how a number of those friends have shared so much of them to me. i recall most of them sharing sensitive things they've never shared to anyone except to me and to a handful other friends. and, to think, that some of them aren't what i consider really close that at this time i haven't heard from them anymore. but still they trusted me with information about themselves that they're confident i'd bring with me to the grave. yeah, i guess people see me as someone who can be trusted with their secrets (most especially the unpleasant or dark ones). and just recently a number of people have shared to me some things i never thought they'd share to me. well, they're assured of sekwecy from me! :D

as i've told some of them who trusted me, i could blackmail them and a lot other people if i wanted to. good thing that's not my nature! :D

it always pays off to be trustworthy. you get to have plenty of friends whom you can turn to anytime, anywhere, anyhow! :)

pag-ibig nga ba?

marami ang palatandaan ng pag-ibig. tulad na lang ng:

- kaya mong tingnan ang buhok nya sa ilong na sumisilip pabalik sayo kahit nakakadiri at yan ang ayaw na ayaw mong makita sa isang tao. pero pag sya, ok lang kahit mahaba ang hair... sa ilong... hehehe
- kaya mong pagmasdan ang pagtulog nya habang naaamoy mo ang bad breath sa hininga nya. ini-inhale mo ang ini-exhale nya kasi ang nasa isip mo lang is that that is the closest you could ever get to him.
- tanggap mo ang sakit ng hindi pag pansin nya syo. iniisip mo na lang na magmahal lang ng walang kapalit na kailanganin.
- pangarap nyay pangarap mo rin para sa kanya.

nakaka-relate ba kayo? may tao na nakakapagpagawa sa inyo ng ganyan? iilan lang yan sa mga ka-cornyhan na kaya mong gawin pag meron kang kinikislapan ng iyong mga mata. may mabababaw kang nagagawa tulad na lang ng paghigop ng bad breath nya at meron namang malalalim tulad ng paghahangad ng kabutihan para sa kanya kahit na ang kahahantungan nun ay walang magiging "kayong dalawa".

sige lang. ok lang. pag-ibig naman yan e.

sabi nga ng isang kaibigan at housemate, hindi sa pag-ibig nagmumula ang sakit. nasa rejection! ano daw? pakiulit! rejection! oo nga naman. masarap ang magmahal. pero masakit ang hindi ka mahalin ng minamahal mo. subalit. datapwat. ngunit. di naman siguro kailangang mahalin ka ng minamahal mo para ka sumaya. makita mo lang syang masaya, dapat masaya ka na rin. ibuhos mo pa rin ang pagmamahal mo na walang ini-expect na kapalit. pero kung hindi mo kaya ang hindi ka nya mahalin, aba mag-evaporate ka na lang o di kaya i-unlove mo sya. magsimula ka sa pagtitig ng mabuti sa buhok nya sa ilong. hehehe

a kiss in the dream

i never thought i'd be very excited over someone's coming over until i dreamt about it the other night. yeah, i'm happy that he's coming soon but to dream about it is so haller!!!??? errr, i didn't really dream about his arrival but i dreamt that there's a "we", an "us". he even kissed me in my dreams! and i thought, "in his dreams baby! in his dreams!" :p

i've always considered him only as a very good friend. although, he's always grumpy and suplado, i'm always able to ward off his negativity away from me, and away from him as well. that's probably why he always wants to see me when we're not separated by oceans and seas. hehehe. assuming! :p

anyways, i'm looking forward to his coming! heck, i'm excited! very very excited! it's been a very long time since i saw him. and if ever my dream would come true, a very dear friend of mine will be celebrating! tsk tsk tsk! hehehe.

the real blues

waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............

just came from the wash room (toilet, cr). and guess what? what??? the handsomest singaporean ever nandun. naka-blue. HUWAT??? napatingin sya sa kin. napatingin naman ako sa sarili ko sa salamin!!! ang HAIR ko HINDI mahaba!!!! ang sagwa! itong trabaho talagang toh oo!

naalala ko na now... nung nag-cr ako kaninang umaga after ako dating sa office, ang gulo gulo ng buhok ko! kaya pala siguro ma-chika si baoxiang sa kin kanina. baka gusto nyang isingit sa conversation namin ang tanong na "mahangin ba sa labas???". at kaya siguro tingin nang tingin sa kin si prasana ay gusto na nya akong suklayan!!!

ano ba toh! nag-blue pa talaga si beaumont, the handsomest ever singaporean to ever walk this earth! (daming nunal eh!)

balik na naman ang blues!

morning blues and whites

as i walked away from home this morning for work, i was feeling a bit melancholic recalling the text message i got from raki, the one word that francis coined about me the previous night, and yeah, the previous night.

i read raki's text when i woke up. she must have sensed that i felt stressed the day before yesterday. my psychic friend said she was just singing "healing" in her mind and remembered me! i miss you too raki! :)

francis asked me last night if i was already fine after the "episode" i displayed the night before. was it really that bad? for him to call my momentary withdrawal from the group an episode??? when in fact, part of the reason i was so stressed out when i went home was i couldn't connect to the internet due to the number of spywares in my computer that accummulated only that day! haven't told him this though. i have to find a good timing with me having a good mood! :p but i feel sad for my other friends to witness that "episode". i didn't mean to be obnoxious guys, gay, and gal. if i was, i'm sorry.

good thing my morning didn't just invoke the blues out of me. the whites came out of nowhere that made the blues disappear! ;)

when i arrived at buona vista mrt, there was white #1. baoxiang, my cutie cutie team mate. he's wearing a WHITE shirt. :) i caught up with him at the bus, sat beside him, and he was the first one to initiate a conversation. he seemed interested in me. hmmm interesting. :p

white #2. as baoxiang and i crossed the street near our office, out of nowhere came prasana, the only indian guy i found really really handsome in singapore! he smiled at baoxiang but kept looking at me. he stole baoxiang away from me but he kept stealing glances at me too while talking with him. and guess what? he was wearing a WHITE shirt as white as his teeth! when we exited at the same time from the man-trap doors to our department, i saw him, at the corner of my eyes, take a last glance at me with a smile before proceeding to his cube opposite my direction. of course, i didn't look back. i had to appear hard to get! hahaha. he seemed very very interested. hmmm very very interesting! :p

so now, i'm not feeling the blues. i was quite excited by the interest they showed. and i was drawn to the whiteness, the whiteness of their shirts! :p

what a morning! :D

thumb drive

b: ah, m, do u have a thumb drive?

(e overhearing, swivels around to the two talking, m and b.)

e: i have a thumb drive. (thinking: did i give a beautiful smile?)

b: oh, ok.

(m smiling behind b.)

e: but it's only 256mb. is that enough?

b: ahehehe. i have a 256mb too. maybe both will be enough. can i borrow it?

e: ok. ah, it's one dollar per minute.

b: ahehehe.

(e thinking: how super duper cute!)

(later)

b: here it is. thank you.

e: ok. (thinking: were my lashes batting the right way?)

(and a bit later)

b: can i borrow your thumb drive again?

e: sure. here it is. (thinking: you can borrow my thumb too! hahaha)