oo
mahal ko sya
mahirap bang paniwalaan yun?
mahirap bang intindihin yun?
baka dahil malungkot lang ako
o, baka panakip butas lang sya
ewan ko
di ko alam kung bakit
baka kahibangan lang
na tinuring ko agad na pagmamahal
at mawawala lang agad
sa maikling panahon
sana nga mawala
sana...
gowvi kaayo owx niya!
pero asnuhon ta man aver?
una, ej owx kawav asnu ang tahuvon ever.
ikaduha, kawav owx nga ej owx makakabuti niya.
ikatulo, arum ej jud sya manahanag sa owx the way owx na-gowvi sa iya!
tovma na ngal jud!
mafaet ang life!
what if i stopped being me? what if the jolly, outgoing character that i am stops and becomes the mysterious, silent alien i thought i'd like to be takes over? would i still have my friends? my enemies? what changes would there be that goes along with this change in persona?
sometimes, i think of changing myself. sometimes i think i joke too much to the point that some people ignore me. maybe i have an attention deficit problem. uy, wala naman siguro! :p
anyways, have u ever thought being like that before? that makes you think, why not change yourself into someone opposite of who you are now.
what do u think? would someone like me?
was it just me??? or did i really hear the fire alarm sound off? i'm quite sure of it! nagising ako eh!
i rushed and peeked outside the door. kahit sobrang lakas nya parang ako lang ung naantig! naisip ko tuloy na baka ghost lang yun. at nung binuksan ko, nakapasok sya! waaaahhhh! katakot! eto nag-blog na lang tuloy ako. hehehe
kinatok ko ng once ung room ni romae tapos the alarm stopped ba naman. weird noh? tawagan ko sana ung guard kaso baka magmukha akong tanga kung wala naman pala. baka guni guni ko lang.
makatulog na nga. nagutom pa tuloy ako. yokong kumain. diet ako. laki na ng tiyan ko eh. 26 na. gosh!
daghan nang laki niagi sa akong kinabuhi apan wala bisan usa nagpabilin nga ako. kay, in the first place, naa bay na ako?
lately, na-realize nako nga lahi lahi ang akong gibati sa nagkalainlain nako nga mga laki. para sayon na lang unya sa pag-catalog sa akong mga laki kung moabot ang panahon nga maglista ko kung unsa akong mga gibati kanila, nakahimo ko aning mga kategorya kung asa nako sila puede ibutang:
1. ang mga wala lang. katong mga forgettable. katong mga dili nako ganahan tagdon or murag wala ko kabantay nga naa ra diay sa akong palibot bisan pa og unsa ilang pagkaibog nako.
2. ang mga bubble men. mga laki nga sama sa bubbles. ganahan ko motan-aw og bubbles. pero kung mobuto na, mawala ra pud sya sa ako. sama pud ni sila sa bubble gum. yummy pero mahutdan ra og katam-is after a while so iluwa og ilabay na lang.
3. ang mga kilig killers. kini ang mga crush crushan. kung makit-an mura na kog maglutaw sa hangin. kung smilan lang kog gamay, bugto na akong panty.
4. ang mga friendships. mga laki nga kutob ra sa istorya. mga ka sharing sharing about drama in life. incest ang dating kung naay something nga bation or mahitabo.
5. ang mga gidamgo. kini ang mga laki nga gi-seryoso. makapahilak sa gagmay nga butang. makapalipay sa gagmay nga butang. kadaghan ni nahitabo nako.
6. ang THIZ IZ IT! kini ang laki nga nakapahunahuna nako og tarong sa akong direksyon sa kinabuhi. kini ang laki nga nakapamunimuni nako nga ganahan na ko mo-settle down. kini ang laki nga gusto ko makauban sa akong pag-rampa ngadto sa katigulangon.
mao na sila ang kategorya so far. og leche nang number 6! niabot na sa wala nako damha! naguba akong state of mind and heart karon. hahay!
ganahan na ko mo-settle down. apan wa ko kahibalo if ganahan pud siya nako. buhey!
Nakakahiya na ang blog ko. Puro na lang kadramahan sa puso! Puro na lang kabadingan! Ang nilagay ko pa naman na intro (look at the leftmost topmost text) dito sa blog ko ay magsusulat ako ng tungkol sa lahat ng bagay na meron akong masasabi. Kaya ngayon mag-fi-film review ako para maiba naman! :p
Last June 6, 2006, I watched the movie "The Omen". Ang film review ko? PANGET SYA!
Yun lang. Ganun lang ka-simple. Tapos na ang film review ko.
Now, off to more important matters…
Kasama ko manood si Papa Ken. Dun pa kami nanood sa napaka-pangit na sinehan. Para syang mga sinehan sa downtown area ng Cebu. To think na nasa Singapore kami! Pang-chancingan yata ung sinehan na yun eh. Malas lang ni Papa Ken at maraming nanood that time. Wa success ang plan nya (kung ano man yun! Sayang! Tsk tsk tsk! Hehehe). Anyways, hindi naman puro kapangitan lang ang labas naming yun. In fairness, para syang meant to be dahil sa date. Parati kasing na-me-mention sa movie and date na june 6. I later found out in the news na june 6, 2006 is considered a lucky day para sa mga chinese. Di ko alam yun. Lucky pala un? Eh para sa iba satanista ang numbers na 666. ang interpretation ko naman sa date na yun ay oh-sex oh-sex oh-sex! Bwhehehe. Ang daming nagpakasal that day kasi nga lucky day daw. Aba kung alam ko lang yun, sana sa simbahan ko na dinala si papa Ken instead na sa sinehan. Hehehe. Pero as I said, enjoy naman. At least napag-usapan namin ung gf nya na may laban naman pala sa kin kung kagandahan ang pag-uusapan. Un nga lang di pa ko ganap na babae. Sirena pa lang ang pinakamataas na status na nakamit ko! :p So masaya ako para sa kanya.
Ang bango pala ni Papa Ken. Tuwing napapatili ako sa movie (oo kahit pangit ang movie, may takot and tili moments din ako), napupunta ung ulo ko sa shoulders nya. Wow, amoy baby cologne! Hehehe… Hindi! Mamahalin naman yata ung pabango nya! :p kulang na lang "hug mo naman ako. I'm so scared eh. Promise!" :p
Anyways, naalala ko lang before pala nag-start ung movie, napadaan kami sa malaking poster nung superman. Sabi ba naman ni Papa Ken, "Guapo kaayo na sya noh?". Aba, type ba si bagong superman??? Sabi ko na lang "oo, kamukha nya si albert martinez". Teka lang. kung sakaling type ni Papa Ken si superman, karibal ko sya. Kasi crush ko si bagong superman eh. At since crush ko rin si Papa Ken, karibal ko naman si superman kasi kaagaw ko sya sa atensyon ni Papa Ken. At since SINCE, may something din sa akin si Papa Ken, karibal ako ni superman sa puso ni Papa Ken. At ito pa ang mas matindi! Since sure ako na pag nakita ako ni superman in person willing syang i-give up ang superpowers nya para lang sa akin. Ganyan nya ako ka-mamahalin! At since hindi naman kapangitan itong si Papa Ken at uso na ngayon ang bisekswalidad, so posibleng ma-attract itong si superman kay Papa Ken. Omigod! Mag-karibal ako at si Papa Ken sa puso ni superman! Grabeh! KARIBALAN na itu! :p Ok lang! Threesome na lang kaya kami? The more the manyer. :p
Anyways, masaya ung nood namin ni Papa Ken. At di na yun mauulit! :p
Kasi wala nang darating pa na June 6, 2006. Mag mantra na lang tayo. Sabayan nyo ako. Oh-sex oh-sex oh-sex!
Author's note: Ang mga nakasulat sa itaas ay hango lamang sa guni guni ng isang walang magawang magandang nilalang ni lord na nag-iidolo sa sex-starved lola ni booba sa pelikulang booba! Mabuhay ako! :D
tiningnan ko mga old posts ko since i arrived here in singapore. naku! halos lahat matters of the heart! puro kabadingan! yun lang ba ang drama sa buhay ko? hahay, opkors andyan din ang matters of the mind, matters of the money, matters of the self, at iba pang ek-ek. mas masarap lang isulat ang tungkol sa matters of the heart. corny kasi. and corny things interest people! bwehehe
anyways, di na naman ako makatulog. nag-iisip ng kung ano-ano. tulad ng: pano kaya? what if? why? why not? kung sakali? posible kaya? ano kaya? pano ba? ano ang gagawin ko? kumusta kaya? sino ba ako?
hay! antok come over here pretty pretty puhleaze!
i saw ken's pics earlier. the ones that were taken during our bbq party at sue and johnny's place. i forgot how handsome ken can be in the pictures until i saw those pics. (coz honestly i don't find him that handsome in person. bwehehe)
i also saw a candid shot of me in the kitchen. i think i was slicing mushrooms or pineapples which i used for the spaghetti i was preparing then. that pic reminded me of a fleeting moment at the kitchen while i was putting something in the microwave oven. i looked towards the sala to catch a glimpse of ken. i saw him looking at me. the moment i looked at him, he hurriedly looked away. there was something in the way he looked at me and in the way he looked away from me. i'm not sure what it was but i felt that it was a special kind of look. the kind of look with a longing attached to it. i didn't want to believe it then but now that i think of it, it really was possible.
i already liked ken then. that look could have been my cue. but i never took courage to do anything about it. now, he has a girlfriend. i'm happy for him. we've stopped communicating. i have moved on. it's easy to move on when you know the object of your affection is happy with someone else.
i may never have had the chance to be with him; looking back though, i'm happy i had that "look and look away" moment from him. it feels special to know that i stirred something within him.
the lesson learned is to take courage in expressing oneself so that there won't be any more "missed" chances or "missed" people. i know this truth. i've known it since forever ago. but i don't know. i'm still afraid. more so now.
courtesy of SkyChasers.netiba ka
kumpara sa iba
uhm, hindi pala
may mga nakilala din ako
na katulad mo
tahimik
misteryoso
mukhang malalim
mukhang matino
ngunit
bakit ganun?
iba ang dating mo sa akin
iba ang pakiramdam ko sa yo
kumpara sa iba
yung iba
tahimik din
misteryoso
malalim
matino
at minsan mas
kaakit akit pa
kesa sa yo
ngunit iba
ang pakiramdam ko sa yo
gusto ko sila
yung mga katulad mo
pero di tulad ng pagkakagusto ko sayo
oo, gusto kita
kakaibang gusto
kumpara sa pagkakagusto ko sa iba
at dahil dyan
natatakot ako
worrying over things...
so tired... better get some sleep...
but i'm still worrying...
i hope i don't dream of crying again...
and wake up really crying...
over someone...
(and sung by elliott yamin)
I see us in the park
Strolling the summer days of imaginings in my head
And words from our hearts
Told only to the wind felt even without being said
I dont want to bore you with my trouble
But theres sumptin bout your love
That makes me weak and
Knocks me off my feet
Theres supmtin bout your love
That makes me weak and
Knocks me off my feet
Knocks me off my feet
I dont want to bore you with it
Oh but I love you, I love you, I love you
I dont want to bore you with it
Oh but I love you, I love you, I love you
More and more
We lay beneath the stars
Under a lovers tree thats seen through the eyes of my mind
I reach out for the part
Of me that lives in you that only our two hearts can find
But I dont want to bore you with my trouble
But theres sumptin bout your love
That makes me weak and
Knocks me off my feet
Theres sumptin bout your love
That makes me weak and
Knocks me off my feet
Knocks me off my feet
I dont want to bore you with it
Oh but I love you, I love you, I love you
I dont want to bore you with it
Oh but I love you, I love you, I love you
I dont want to bore you with it
Oh but I love you, I love you, I love you
Darling I dont...
ang dami ko nang utang dito sa blog ko! here are what i will be writing in the coming days when i get the time:
- bintan escapade with sue, johnny, sachi, colai, kiko, and bob
- one emotional roller coaster of a day/night (following bintan escapade)
- memoirs of a "gay sya" (isang maikling kuento)
- ang aking samsung q35-c006 laptop
- sparks or volcanic eruption?
- the omen in 06/06/06
well, singilin nyo ko if di ko pa nasusulat! :p
antok na! babush!
you are an unexpected visitor. to my heart. you are the dream i never dreamed of. yet i am drawn towards you.
your nod. your shrug. your smirk. your one-word replies. your fleeting smiles when i whip up some lucky jest. your silencing look. your blank look. and most often, your silence. these are all your varying answers to my attempt at speaking to you in poetry to know you. all these add to the mystery that you are.
you've created your presence in me so suddenly, unexpectedly; that i am caught off guard. you've stripped off me my defenses. i am hardly myself when left alone with you. i'm left with too much thinking. about you. about me.
you came suddenly. and more suddenly was your leaving. the night i thought would be the last night i'd see you, you gave me one of the most poignant and beautiful waves along with your usual shy half smile. that was all i could remember of that night. it was sweet. like love. and it was also painful. just like love.
