i like your eyes

i like your eyes
they penetrate into me
like a pussycat's claws
deep and probing
painful yet blissful

i like your eyes
they speak the truth
like they're sweet lies

i like your eyes
i'm had with their mere stare


--------
a silly poem written on the spot at the MSN window when a friend's photo is that of a pussycat... weeee... i miss japan! :p

regret

i was hurt. very hurt. i didn't know if i would be able to get through the pain of losing him. for there was only him. and no one else. yet i had to let go. it was the only way to save myself from further pain. letting go is always the only way to free ourselves from things that we bind ourselves with like unrequited love.

i had to find someone else. i had to have a savior. i had to give myself to someone else.

yes, i found someone else. someone whom i asked to promise me many things. like undying devotion and untarnished love. i made this someone promise me to take care of me. so, i gave myself and my all to this new someone.

but now i regret giving myself to this someone who promised me the world. this someone's promises of taking good care of me and my body along with my reckless surrender bore me something i never expected. something i never wanted.

it is starting to show. no matter how hard i tried to hide it, people are taking notice. i never thought that the heartache which started six months ago would bring about something unwanted through the redeeming promises of someone else whom i came to depend on during the painful nights of recollection.

now i regret for having allowed my supposed savior to keep his promises.

my tummy is getting bigger. everybody's noticing.

i shouldn't have talked myself into meticulously taking care of my health more because my idea of taking care of myself more was feeding myself more and more. i'm getting fatter. i look like i'm 2 months pregnant. arrrggghhh... i shouldn't have asked MYSELF to promise MYSELF to eat really really delicious food and eat plenty and plenty of them!

it's better to vent out your heartaches to others, strangers included. because if you depend solely on yourself in dealing with it, you'll either eat or not eat.

now i have a big tummy! waaaaaahhhhhh!!!

hehehe... para lang may maisulat! weeeeeee... :p

more about dolphin hunting in japan

a friend already had a post about this early this year due to an article in the japan times. it was futo, japan that i referred to in the previous post as the remaining fishing village that continues the mass capture and slaughter of dolphins. and if i'm not mistaken, it was ric o'barry who was featured in the national geographic show i watched last night spearheading the fight to stop this dolphin genocide in the country.

to quote ric o'barry in the article:

I captured about 100 dolphins myself, back in the 1960s, including the five that played Flipper. I changed when Flipper died in my arms from suicide. I use that word with some trepidation, but I don’t know another word that describes self-induced asphyxiation. Dolphins and other whales are not automatic breathers. Every breath they take is a conscious effort, which is why they don’t sleep. If life becomes miserable, they just don’t take the next breath. Flipper looked me in the eye and stopped breathing.

read the entire article at:

http://ideru.kansaiblogger.com/2007/02/23/dolphins/

spread the word in any way you can. through your blogs, for example. the japanese public just needs to be aware because, apparently, they are not.

japan and dolphins

i originally planned on posting about what i did on april 17 in japan; however, while watching a national geographic episode earlier about dolphin hunting in japan, i began to lose interest in the country.

graphic photographs and videos of hundreds of dolphins (mostly bottle-nose) being caught and slaughtered en masse were shown. you'd hate the country for it especially when the government gave permits to the fishermen to do the hunting and killing and when the village folks would defend such acts citing that it's part of their country's tradition. the sorriest thing is that the income for dolphin meat is not one too big and substantial to make the country rich.

good thing i didn't abandon the tv early for feeling so grossed out with the cruelty and graphic images. the practice of mass hunting and killing of dolphins in japan is becoming history. over the years, the fishing villages that practised this had, one by one, stopped doing it. if i'm not mistaken, only one fishing village is left still doing it. i'm not sure if it's true until now. i stopped watching in the middle of the show actually.

that's good news already. thanks to the few people who fought to stop such animal cruelty, i can continue writing about my japan trip and loving the country as well. everybody deserves second chances! ;)

celebrity kiss

it's in my list of things to do in my life: to kiss a celebrity!

i didn't know that i already did! :p

visit www.ogs.jp for some clues! :p

that's one thing-to-do ticked off my list! :D

nihon turipu apr 16: the oldies went to the old town

on a miraculous monday morning, emman woke up at around 7 am! i was very excited for this day. i was headed to a high mountain where an old town is nestled. i was headed to takayama all by myself.

the trip took more than 4 hours. i had to make a brief stop at nagoya. i asked from a tourist information staff what i could do for about 30 minutes in nagoya. she laughed and just pointed me towards a new building. since i didn't have enough time to tour the city, she suggested i just look at the newest building in town! fine!

i just photographed this structure in the middle of the road instead. at least i could say i was in nagoya! :p

i made it to takayama at past 2. i think. hehehe. i forgot already! :p that's what i get for postponing this entry too long. that's what you get for not pestering me enough to continue my japan trip account! :p

after a quick meal of bland ramen, i set off to hida folk village which is an open museum of old houses of japan of yore. dazzling!


actually, the houses, including the smell indoors, reminded me of the houses we had in my province, bantayan island. it reminded me of the warm scent of burnt wood. there were just plenty of woods everywhere! hehehe.

it was during that time that i unleashed my full potential as a supermodel. you know how supermodels are. they should be capable and willing to do any poses, to take on any character, whether they like it or not. in this picture, i was forced by some unexplainable outer entity to pose like a man. i found out about this when i saw the picture. it's quite a shot really! i'm so supermodel like! go me! never mind the manly profile. it's just make up and camera trick. behind that is the face of an angelic girlalou! :p supermodel talaga! :p

i had plenty shots of myself. good thing the oldies i toured with were nonchalant to my running around whenever i setup my camera on a tripod, set the timer, and posed like nobody's watching. or were they? they could be passing by eyeing me with peripheral vision! hehehe.

yeah, the old town was, i guess, more frequented by the oldies. that's what i saw. not a single kiddo was there. i was the only youngster there. that's why i felt so seventeen! :p

after spending 2 hours or so at the hida folk village, i went back to the town proper. i had only 1 hour left to tour the old town. gosh! you could run in the streets of takayama without getting run by a car! what car??? there were only a few cars!

the streets were people-less except for tourists and some shop vendors! at 6 pm, the shops started to close! waaahhh! there was no night life there! hehehe. but it was a very serene town. i just wondered how the businesses there thrive.

actually, that saturday, apr 14, they had their annual spring festival where they had floats of some kinds. the hotels were full according to my source: the internet. i was supposed to go there on saturday but my boyfriend, ahem (inangkin na hehehe), left me confused with my schedule. read my previous posts for it! :p

the following picture shows the old houses of the edo period (samurai samurai ek ek yata to) that still stand up to this day. they didn't look really old to me but they certainly were.

the sakuras were beautiful there too.

the trip back to osaka took another 4 hours plus. i was onboard the trains for 8 hours. i only toured takayama for about 4 hours. ah, i should have stayed overnight but i was having moolah concerns already at that time! :(

hay, i want to go there again! :( the place was very serene. so me: serene diva! :p if you should go to japan, this is a must-go-to place. the old town and hida folk village are not for the oldies alone. it's for youngsters as well. take it from the seventeen year old (feeling) supermodel who had most of the best shots of her trip taken there! :p

takayama can surely provide you with a drama setting! :p

sharing with a stranger

ever thought how easy it is sometimes to share our thoughts, secrets, and problems with a stranger than with someone we know?

and since we can't just pull a stranger out of the street to share our stories with anytime, a virtual stranger might just be an alternative.

if you want to talk with someone with full anonymity, you can share your stories with the blogger otikins. visit her at http://otikinspirationline.blogspot.com/

the small world phenomenon series

i started my memoirs of a "gay sya" series due to memorable gay experiences. my own and my friends'. i failed to realize before that i could have started another series, and that is the small world phenomenon. i've had posts about it before pero parang ordinary posts lang of experiences that made me go "whaaaatttt???" "my gaaaaaaadddddddddd" "grabeeeeeeeeeee" "ang liit ng mundoooooooo" "aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" "ohhhhhhhhhhhh". hmm, ignore the last two. i think those expressions should have another series of their own! hehehe.

due to two small world phenomenon events recently, i'm going to start this new series. it seems like the world is closing in on me. ang dami nang small world events na nangyari sa akin dito sa singapore. i will write about them in the coming days. di muna ngayon kasi antok na. hehehe.

but to remind me and to give out some hints as well, the first recent experience had something to do with elton john. the second one had something to do with my company and my search for a new home! :D

abangan! ;)

p.s. the nihon trip account will be continued soon enough. kailangan lang matulog ngayon! ;)

nihon turipu apr 15: kyoto cute cute

i'd been waiting for this day! kyoto! being the old capital of japan, it holds many attractions: UNESCO world heritage sites, castles, temples, shrines, the geisha district, the loveliest sakuras during spring, the flame-coloured leaves of trees during autumn, and handsome guys! :D the latter i discovered when i got there!

in fact, when my trip was coming to an end, i told my friends, in retrospect, that kyoto had the most number of handsome guys! osaka and tokyo came in close second and third, respectively! :p it was probably because kyoto was smaller and the guys were concentrated in the central district where tourists went around, where i roamed around. plus there are two big universities there. so there were handsome students. and handsome tourists. but i was a beautiful tourist, mind you! :p

i will only relate two handsome experiences. hehehe. they were those that lasted in my memory. the first was when kay and i boarded a bus going to kinkakuji temple. the bus was packed; but at the back was a student sitting on one seat while his bag was also sitting on the seat beside him. he was actually not friendly at all! people were standing yet he didn't offer the seat where his bag was placed to anyone. he didn't budge even if people were looking at him, even if kay and i were talking beside him about him! well, we were talking in the vernacular so he never understood our backstabbing! hehehe. but he was handsome as hell, and heaven too! hahaha. good thing kay was sitting. i was standing but i didn't allow my bitchy side to ask him if his bag paid for the seat. i was cool because i wanted to stay standing so i could talk with kay. but my bitchy side had to surface. when a lady boarded the bus and had no railing to hold on to, i finally asked the handsome-yet-inconsiderate japanese student to stuff himself into his bag! hehehe. no, i simply asked him if he could give the seat to the lady. he threw his bag to the floor without looking up at me then vacated his seat for the lady. right then and there, he fell in love with me. that i'm very sure of. i knew when kay and i got off the bus, he was thinking of me. he would be thinking of me for the entire day, seething with anger at the humiliation i caused him. then at night i'm sure he dreamt of me. i'm sure he'd remember me for eternity! weeeee!!! :D

the next handsome experience was when kay, idel, and i had our dinner in a traditional ramen stall. i was super duper tired so when we sat on the stools at the stall, i sighed the deepest sigh of relief of my life! then the ramen guy, in all his colorful slow-motion handsomeness, exclaimed with glittering eyes that spelt love and tender loving care "tsukaretta?". what else did the awestruck emman say but "hai. aruite forever" hahahaha. ramen guy just smiled while idel and kay broke into a boisterous laughter. aruite forever! :p i didn't know the japanese of forever ne! pardon me ne! at least after that, ramen guy kept stealing glances at me! oh diva? :p

here's the ramen that ramen guy gave me. oh ramen guy, you were so delicious, este ramen pala! :p


below is a UNESCO world heritage, the ginkakuji temple or silver pavilion. it wasn't as appealing as i thought it would be, actually.

and below the kinkakuji temple or gold pavilion, another UNESCO world heritage. this one blew kay and i away.

the sakuras were indeed lovely in kyoto. i loved this one. the flowers hung like pearls from above. they dangled like earrings made of pink tears from heaven. wow! enough puwetic, este, poetic already!


we just had to pass by gion. i watched and read memoirs of a geisha and i just had to be at gion! we were only able to spot a geisha from afar but we were too tired to keep our lookout or even run after one should we have spotted one. i heard they'd scurry away if foreigners tried to take pictures of them. so there was no use. i contented myself being at the street and looking at the traditional geisha tea houses.

ahhhh. but i had to have some proof that i was really in gion! this was what i first took! hahaha. the japanese passersby were laughing at me! they must have thought who would want to have a souvenir shot of a pachinko center (slot machines game center)??? well, i had to have proof you know that i was really there! :p

ahhh... we were dead tired by the time we got back to osaka. kay suffered from muscle pains the next day. but we loved our tour! the guys were cute. hehehe. what we ate tasted cute. what we saw were cute. kyoto was a cute place! hehehe.

but there was one thing i wasn't able to do there which i planned on doing: becoming a maiko or apprentice geisha for a few hours. i was willing to pay up to 6,500 yen. aside from not knowing which shop to go to, we didn't have much time. well, this would be one reason why i should go back!

ahhhh, the handsome guys will go gaga over me when i become a maiko. how much should i charge for my mizuage? probably, i'll beat sayuri! read or watch the memoirs of the geisha folks! you'll want to go to kyoto after that :)

memoirs of a "gay sya": dyke sya

conscious ang paglalakad ng isang girlalou. mabagal at mahinhin pero alam mong conscious. dahil na rin siguro sa bago nyang hairstyle. maiksi. kulay brown na may highlights na blond. hindi naman sya mukhang igorota, ang kinatatakutan nyang itsura kapag sya ay nagpakulay ng buhok. papunta sya sa kanyang hairstylist.

hairstylist: antayin mo na lang ako sa labas.

girlalou: o sige.

umalis si girlalou para ikot ikot habang antayin ang kaibigang hairstylist na nagkulay ng kanyang buhok.

boss ng hairstylist: is your friend a lesbian?

hairstylist: huwahahaha. you should tell that to her when she's here lor!

boss ng hairstylist: she looks like a girl who tries to be a boy.

hairstylist: wahahaha.

dahil na siguro sa pagiging conscious sa sarili nya at naging awkward ang mga kilos ni girlalou. ok na rin. at least nasabihang babae si girlalou. besides, patok ang mga lesbiana sa pantasya ng mga lalaki!