dec 17: pang-himagas

ang sarap talaga ng silk soya milk! grabeh! i just might consider moving here or not leaving because of it! hehehe

now sleep na talaga! :p

dec 16: pahabol

pumunta pala kami sa isang malaking place na factory outlets ng branded rtw. gosh! ba't ko ba nakakalimutan yung mga names nung places na pinuntahan namin??? i think it's just the cold! :p

hay, etong mga kapatid ko nahihiya pang ipag-shop ni ateh! ako na lang tuloy nakabili for me! isang sapatos na naman from hush puppies! darn! sira ang budget.

pero babalik ako dun bago umuwi! hekhekhek!

dec 16: crab galore

wala lang. gumising ako. kumain ng chimichanga. breakfast yan ha. pang-restaurant ko yan sa singapore. :p at uminom ng pinakamasarap na soya milk na natikman ko! natulog ulit. pagkagising, 130pm na. kawawa ang mga kapatid kong nag-antay. walang lunch!

pumunta kami sa anumang pangalan ng lugar na yun. basta sa fisherman's wharf. ung parang sutukil ng cebu or dampa ng manila. pero crabs lang yung buhay na pinipili namin. we got 4 rock crabs and 1 spider crab. naloka ako sa spider crab. sing-laki nya si tobey maguire! at medyo chewy din sya kainin. inimagine ko na lang na nginunguya ko ang muscles ni mr tobey! hehehe.

it was super duper late na lunch. then pecture pecture dun sa dock. may mga yachts. pagkatapos nag drive lang sa isang place na ang mga bahay ay nag-decorate for christmas. ok naman. not really as elaborate compared kung yung pinoy ang nag-decorate! although, masasabi mo ginastusan din talaga kasi ung iba may singing santa clause pa sa gate nila at mga umiilaw at tumatango-tangong reindeers!

uwi lang. then sa lahat ako lang ang nagutom! ano ka ba emman? sawa na yata ang alaga mo sa tyan! imagine, ung mga kapatid ko nag-milk lang then tulog na? habang ako nagluto pa ng hash brown and egg. tapos eto umiinom ng soya milk habang tinatapos ang kaeklatan tong blog na to! hehehe. hay, na-entice ako ng ben and jerry's ice cream sa ref. pagtikim ko, YUCK! parang sira! hay ang expiry date aug 2005!!!! ha? ano ba yan??? two years ago pa ba yan na pinabayaan sa ref??? kaso di ko sila matanong. tulog na lahat eh. eh pano ba naman? 4pm pa kaya sa nasanayang kong bansa! so bukas na lang.

at eto ako, tatapusin ko na to. iinom na lang ako ng soya milk ulit! ang yummy! :) night night!

good night v. i miss u already! hahaha. ang na-intriga, iniintriga ko lang! :p

dec 15: maganda pa rin

pagkalabas ko ng eroplano sa pang-daigdigang paliparan ng los angeles (tama ba? hala, mag-tagalog ka pa emman), otherwise known as los angeles international airport, aba umikot ang aking mundo. para akong lasing na rumarampa palabas ng aeroplane. sa isip ko, eto na ba ang jet lag? di ko kasi alam kung ano talaga ang jet lag. kalasingan lang pala? :p

napatingin ako sa isang glass door. laking gulat ko! ang ganda ko pa rin! :D talaga naman talaga! kahit saang lupalop ng daigdig. kahit anong oras. kahit anong kondisyon. ang kagandahan ni emman walang kakupas-kupas, parang papayang hindi naaagnas! wehehehe.

pero ha, nalusyang ako sa trip na yun. akala ko kasi maluwag ang mga upuan ng eroplano. eh kasi naman 12 hours kaya ung byahe so medyo high ang expectations ko. hay naku, tulad lang ng regular na airplane seats and spaces. imagine? good thing na lang at bakante ung gitnang upuan at may napatungan ako ng aking mga faa. in fairness, masarap ang fagkain. subalit, nakakainis ang nasa likod kong mag-ina kasi mega tantrums ang anak maya maya. parang baka kung umiyak at parang lindol kung sumipa ng upuan ko. hindi ako nag-reklamo kasi bata nga naman at napaka-uncomfortable nung upuan.

nung nasa immigration na ako, mega ang aking kaba. syempre baka i-deport nila ako. baka bawal ang exotic and erotic beauties. baka ayaw magkaron ng gulo sa bansa nila. mahirap pa naman magkagulo ang mga amerikanong lalaki. mga aggressive. lalo na yung mga guapo! :p anyways, dun ko napatunayan ang aking androgenous beauty. kasi habang nakapila kami ng 48 years (equivalent to 1 hour human time), mainit so hinubad ko ang aking jacket at naka-sleeveless na lang. may dalawang babaeng mexicana (feel ko), na tingin nang tingin. at nagbubulungan. ang nakuha ko lang ay "hombre"... di ba lalaki yan? so bale, nag-gue-guess sila actually kung anong kasarian ko! hay naku, 0.5 points lang maibibigay ko kasi half lang ang tama nila. of course, i'm half-man half-goddess! :p

come interview time with immigration officer, simple questions. what are you doing here? how long are you going to stay? how many times have you been here before? after that, you can go na ang sinabi. huwow! praise heavens! ;)

ang next na challenge ay paghahanap ng aking bag. gosh! iba ang kinuha ko na kamukha nung bag nina sue. grabeh mega bigat pa naman. na-mroblema na ko kung pano ko ibalik. di ko na sya carry. siguro within 5 minutes na naibaba ko, nagmagandang loob ang isang pinoy (although nag english sya) na ilagay ung bag kasi malamang hinahanap na daw. ows? style! nagandahan ka lang sa kin eh! hehehe

at nung nahanap ko na, hay pila na naman sa customs bago lumabas. may interview portion din. are you bringing any meat, poultry or fish? no, sir. i come in fish, este, in peace only. how about seeds and plants? the seeds have been planted already in my stomach sir a few nights ago! don't worry, it will only grow babies. how much money did u bring? secret! :p

pagkalabas ko, wumawagayway ang aking ina, ama, at mga kapatid. at no sue, walang mega drama. ngiti lang. siguro glint of a tear or two. ;)

then off we go. aba, ang sasakyan bago at maganda. kakabili lang nung dec 19 in preparation for my arrival. gosh! puede ko bang iuwi yan? :p

nag-dinner kami sa denny's which is just behind nung tinitirhan ng pamilya ko. first time nila dun kahit nasa likod lang ng bakuran nila. ang damages? 80USD including 15% tip. ang laki noh? for meals na pang-breakfast ang dating (bread, toast, hash browns, etc).

hay nung home sweet home na, syempre labasan ng pasalubong, tingin tingin sa paligid (sobrang okay), at ang ref punong puno ng pagkaing dito ko lang yata makikita sa 'tate. yun ung okay for me. ang food. pero sa drive drive at gala gala namin, nothing really special. just very wide roads. wala pa kong super guapong nakita.

mega ang aking tulog. di ko maintindihan ang oras. nalilito ang aking katawan! :p

sikat

tau-tauhan: big boss, mystery girl, kaibigan ni mystery girl, officemate.

boss to mystery girl: how do you know each other? (referring to the kaibigan of mystery girl) did you work together in cebu?

mystery girl: ah, no. but we come from the same school. we just met here at our company.

boss: ahhh...

sa kabilang bahagi ng mundo.

officemate to kaibigan ni mystery girl: oh, so you went to the same school?

kaibigan ni mystery girl: yes.

officemate: is she famous there? (more of like a rhetorical question)

- abangan ang susunod na kabanata -

career change?

i had a brief chat with someone whom i encounter almost on a daily basis:

she: are you in advertising?
moi: nope. why?
she: oh. well, you look like you are.
moi: ah. hehehe.

gosh! my look is so advertising! hmmmm.... napapaisip tuloy ako! :p

gay news

November 21, 2007

archbishop tutu criticises churches’ 'gay obsession’

By News Editor

Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu has criticised his own church - in a BBC radio programme to be aired next Tuesday - for being "obsessed" with homosexuality at a time when the world is beset with other pressing problems such as poverty, HIV and conflict.

South Africa's retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu has criticised the Anglican Church and its leadership for being "obsessed" with homosexuality. He told the BBC’s Radio 4 in an interview last week he was ashamed of the church for its attitude toward homosexuals. The 40-minute radio programme, to be aired next Tuesday, will focus on the conflict over homosexuality in the worldwide Anglican Church. One of South Africa’s most outspoken critics of apartheid and winner of the 1984 Nobel Peace prize, retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu He said that the Anglican Church had appeared "extraordinarily homophobic" during the debate over whether Gene Robinson - an openly gay priest - should be allowed to be the Bishop of New Hampshire. One of South Africa’s most outspoken critics of apartheid and winner of the 1984 Nobel Peace prize, the 76-year-old said God "must be weeping" at seeing that the Church had such misplaced priorities. He further criticised the present Archbishop of Canterbury for not demonstrating the attributes of a "welcoming God." "Our world is facing problems - poverty, HIV and AIDS - a devastating pandemic, and conflict. God must be weeping looking at some of the atrocities that we commit against one another. In the face of all of that, our Church, especially the Anglican Church, at this time is almost obsessed with questions of human sexuality." "If we are going to not welcome or invite people because of sexual orientation, yes. If God as they say is homophobic I wouldn't worship that God." Reiterating what he had previously expressed, the Archbishop admonished religious conservatives who say that homosexuality is a choice that gay people make: "It is a perversion if you say to me that a person chooses to be homosexual. You must be crazy to choose a way of life that exposes you to a kind of hatred. It's like saying you choose to be black in a race infected society."

kayrami...

hay naku!

there's friendster. there's myspace. there's multiply. there's tagged. there's sms.ac. may facepic. may wayn. may guyslink. ngayon may facebook. at may odesk na naman!

hay naku! ang dami! naloka na ko sa mga network sites na yan! ayoko nang gumawa ng profiles. nauubos yung oras ko!

ayang facebook na yan. accept lang ako nang accept kasi parang ang daming naloka maglaro ng kung anik-anik!

hay, gawa na lang ako ng emmster! tingnan ko if mag-grow yung network ko! :p

tama na muna ang mga sites na ganyan... kailangang mag-concentrate sa ibang activities. kailangang panindigan ko ang aking pagiging presidente! ahem! :p

kung ano man yan. akin akin na lang! :p

mahirap pala maging pinuno. lalo na pag ang pinagpre-preparean eh para sa 900 na katao sa singapore! ssshhhh!

puede na nga ako gumawa ng emmster. kayrami na din pala akong puede ipa-subscribe! :p

ostracism

do you call it ostracism when you stop inviting someone to gatherings which he was almost always present in just so you can give yourself the chance to heal and move on?

i don't think so especially if other people in your group have the liberty of inviting that someone.

just a thought to ponder coz that's how a friend penned a situation, long over, i described to him.

anyhow, despite having at least one hurting in the past because of that, i think everyone's happy now. that's the most important thing. :)

at the top

pag unti unti ka nang umaangat at na-expose sa maraming corporate angles (whatever that is), you'll encounter a myriad of personalities. the worst thing? well, the worst ones of course!

at ngayong araw, i met an asshole! they do exist pala! promise!

sabi nga nila, it's lonely at the top. no wonder he's like how he is.

hate and love

it's bad how you're kept awake by you're hatred of some people's remarks done in a distasteful tone of voice characterized by superiority complex! just a fraction of hearing that kind of assuming and superiorly tone brings back all the bad events that happened during the day! ugh! enough of that please! i don't want to talk to the likes of you!

good thing there's youtube to keep me company at this unholy hour. it's keeping me from banging my desk. and it's allowed me to relive my love for this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06L1gV1tLy4

i tag you!

di ba tag kay hikap hikap man? :p

ganahan man tingali pahikap si dongky, so manghikap na lang ko!

una ka dong! wahahaha

i tag dongky!

i tag madonna salome diez!

i tag mrs klit!

i tag mrs lily!

i tag nolanie!

i tag madam rizza!

i tag mr camus!

i tag ms lendu!

i tag all of you na lang uy!

ngeh! kadaghang babay sa lista!

ang kanang babay wala nako gihikap ha... tuklod na lang! wehehehe

tagged!

good thing di tagged me! i remembered i have a blog! LOL! :p now, it's awakened from its hiatus. so here goes mine di! thanks for tagging moi! mwah! ;)

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Seven facts about me: the only daughter in a children of four, jane of all trades mistress of none, supermodel wannabe, dreamer, wanderer, wonderer, deluded goddess

A - Age: 29
B - Band Listening To Right Now: Caedmon's Call
C - Career: Software Engineer
D - Drink or Smoke: long island iced tea, i hate smoking
E - Easiest Friends To Talk To: they know who they are ;)
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: both
H - Have a Boyfriend : :)
I - In love: :)
J- Junk Food You Like: lay's sour cream and onion
K - Kids: if i get pregnant
L - Longest Ride Ever: boat from cebu to manila
N - Names For Your Future Kids: emms junior
O - One Wish You Have Now: have a taste of....
P - Phobias: high places with very low ledges waaahhhh
Q - Favorite Quote: what doesn't kill you will make you stronger
R - Reasons To Smile: THE trip!
S - Sleeping Time: 1am
T - Time You Woke Up: 8:20am
U - Unknown Fact About You: i'm shy
V - Vegetable You Hate: i don't quite like okra but i still eat it ;)
W - Worst Habit: tardy
X - X-rays You’ve Had: chest
Y - Yummy Foods: i forgot their names! :p
Z - Zodiac Sign: capricorn/snake

song of the week

"Power of Two"

Now the parking lot is empty
Everyones gone someplace
I pick you up and in the trunk Ive packed
A cooler and a 2-day suitcase
Cause theres a place we like to drive
Way out in the country
Five miles out of the city limit were singing
And your hands upon my knee

So were okay
Were fine
Baby Im here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
Im stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Well look at them together then well take them apart
Adding up the total of a love thats true
Multiply life by the power of two

You know the things that I am afraid of
Im not afraid to tell
And if we ever leave a legacy
Its that we loved each other well
Cause Ive seen the shadows of so many people
Trying on the treasures of youth
But a road that fancy and fast
Ends in a fatal crash
And Im glad we got off
To tell you the truth

Cause were okay
Were fine
Baby Im here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
Im stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Well look at them together then well take them apart
Adding up the total of a love thats true
Multiply life by the power of two

All the shiny little trinkets of temptation
(make new friends)
Something new instead of something old
(but keep the old)
All you gotta do is scratch beneath the surface
(but remember what is gold)
And its fools gold
(what is gold)
Fools gold
(what is gold)
Fools gold

Now were talking about a difficult thing
And your eyes are getting wet
I took us for better and I took us for worse
Dont you ever forget it
Now the steel bars between me and a promise
Suddenly bend with ease
The closer Im bound in love to you
The closer I am to free

So were okay
Were fine
Baby Im here to stop your crying
Chase all the ghosts from your head
Im stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
Well look at them together then well take them apart
Adding up the total of a love thats true
Multiply life by the power of two

===================
going out to you who've been played with many times. stay away from those jerks! ;)

quote to reflect on

I expect you can share some nice songs with me…...

ano yaaaannnn??? etong mga chinese talaga. kailangang ayusin ang pag phrase ng sentences. napapaisip tuloy ako. hindi ko na naman sana sya crush! tagal na! ahem! :p

hindi ko tuloy ma-delete ang email! :p

funny clips

naloka ako sa mga clips na to... the first two were shown in the training i'm in to right now. grabeh, ako pinakadakog katawa sa mga participants! wahahaha

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1WaF4WS-yaU

http://youtube.com/watch?v=prSQv6aTfDI

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BRwXtD7HUCo

pahabol sa buzy

waaaahhhh i forgot to mention that my manager asked me to prepare an itinerary for our team's team building activity which we should be holding either end of october or first week of november!

ok ka lang???

everything's out of my system. now i can sleep.

oh, i should still send someone a book via snail mail! :D watch out for it sweetheart! :p

buzy buzy buzy

october is definitely the busiest month for me in 2007. so far. it's not only about work. i'm not staying late at the office like i used to because of work but i'm still busiest now because i'm juggling a lot of things to do and i'm sorting out a lot of things in my mind.

oct 1 - 2. i was on external training for unleashing my creativity! wow! contrary to public understanding (courtesy of sue), this seminar is not about singing, dancing, acting, or what else have you. it's about problem solving and innovating at the workplace chuvalences. i didn't like it. at all! :p

oct 3 - 5. craziness! being the vice-chairman of the recreational club of our company, i'll be taking over the chairman's responsibilities as she is leaving the company this month. ging gang gooly goodness gracious! i've never handled such big a responsibility in planning, monitoring, and making decisions for activities for a company with almost a thousand employees! gosh! we have a family day coming up this 20th october. i thought everything was running smooth in our preparations but when we had our meeting, everything was in shambles. when i called up our organizer, the payment hasn't been made. panic mode in full force! good thing the goddess rose to the occasion and was able to discover what's been thought to have been all right and made some actions and decisions before it's too late. it's my first time to be exposed to the complicated process of raising PRs and what nots! i had to give myself a pat on the back for a job well done today!

but gosh! i hope everything turns out well next week for the planning as i will be out of the office for another three days! waaaahhhh!!!

oct 8 - 10. project management training. it's good to have connections. teehee! a training that's not supposed to be yours can be yours! :p well, somebody backed out. i was informed. i wasn't supposed to be eligible but connections connections! :p

but what about the family day! my gaaaaaaadddddd!!! panic again! we have to have 1,350 people for this company activity! ok emman. calm down. breathe. say banana. not yet okay? all right, think of a bigger banana. there you go! should be happy now! :p

oct 11 - 12. family day again. meeting with the organizer and emcees for program preparation. prizes not yet decided. registrants still to be determined. there's only one week left to prepare!!! breathe. stay calm. banana. big banana.

oct 15 - 17. another external training. vb .net. good addition to my resume! wehehehe. hay, this month is training month. good company. good company! :D

oct 18 - 19. nervous breakdown. noh! be a goddess of serenity and calm emman. go to a church. pray on your knees from door to altar. the family day will be a success! ;)

oct 20. pandemonium! waaaahhhh... hehehe. it'll be very very fun and successful! pwamis! ;)

oct 22 - 25. cramming time to get all my acts together to give a good impression to a visiting french boss who will be discussing project matters which i'll be playing a big role in. pressure! :(

oct 24. supposed to go home for one of my closest friend's (fe's) wedding. wahhh cannot lah! french boss discuss project to me lah! :( will go home on the weekend instead! waaahhhh, airfare sky high lah! miracle please! miracle for airfare to go down. i'll only go home on the weekend to meet fe and her english fiance.

in between those dates mentioned, i've got to squeeze in my study for my new project which will be starting in 2 or 3 weeks, my mentoring of the new validation engineer assigned to me, planning and monitoring for the biggest company event happening in november which is the dinner and dance (nervous... nervous.... raffle draw mechanics... interesting gimmicks... gosh... it's just a month of preparation after family day), and my preparation for the trip of my life in december (tickets are way over my budget!!!).

waaaahhhh, just reading all these makes me wanna cry in the loving arms of a husband. but i don't have a husband. bob doesn't want me to be his wife. roland hasn't sent me an email or anything. kenneth is off womanizing. and viel is only sending me take care sms once in a blue moon! and i'm 100% not giving in to any of my stalkers! waaaahhh... hehehe... i don't have time pala for lovelife this month... or until end of this year...

focus emman. focus. you'll get through it all. all you need is faith in yourself and in others who are working with you. some good rest and proper eating. and of course, your source of strength and life: banana! everything will be all right! :p

quoteable quote

"We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives."

~Dr. Meredith Grey~

---

thanks madz for sharing it :)

an eventful day

a series of interesting events happened today.

1. i was the last to arrive at my company-sponsored seminar on creativity at tekka mall in little india. when i arrived, the second to the last latecomer was playing his guitar and singing as punishment for his being late. when i got in, waaaahhhh, people were giving me the "you're next look". they all clapped for me to take the floor and do my own performance as punishment. ang kapal ko. :( i didn't do anything at all. i just said "i don't have any talent". i chickened out. well, i didn't want to make a fool of myself especially that the handsomest guy in our company was there! waaaahhhh... hehehe. besides, i could only sing with a mic and there was none so i couldn't do it. next time na lang. sana wala nang next time! :p

2. a colleague whom i never interacted with except regarding work came up to me when i was alone to ask me if i'd been in gay pubs. hmmm, nagduda na ako! through our conversation, she confided that she's also like me: diyosa. pero sya, babae ang gusto nya. babae rin syang tunay. aba, mega shock ako for her to trust me with that information. and since she trusted me, her secret is safe with me. :) secret eh sinulat ko dito! hwek hwek hwek. secret ang identity nya i mean! :D

3. my ex-crush bxk, who was seated in front of me, kept leaning towards me until his back would touch either my hands or knees. aba aba aba!!! hmmm, sige crush na nga lang ulit! :p

4. uwian time, i walked from little india to bugis. when i was near bugis already, i suddenly stopped walking to look at where i was supposed to go when also, all of a sudden, a guy who was walking so fast stopped in front of me, looked at me intently, and he seemed to take all of me inside his eyes. gosh! there was a little fear in me but i regained my composure. i walked on, changed direction and whola lowla, the guy was following me. he would go ahead of me and then look at me. wala pang smile yan ha! i just looked at him and walked to the nearest bus station to examine the bus guide. aba, to my upper left view, nandun ang mama at inaabangan ako. i didn't bother to look at him straight because i didn't want to encourage him to get on with his plans! ayokong ma-rape in broad daylight noh! hehehe. the guy was either from bangladesh or sri lanka. i'm not really sure. he wasn't bad looking. it was just i was not in the mood! hahaha. hindi noh! the truth is, hindi ako easy girl! :p seriously, medyo natakot talaga ako ng konti because he really followed me around. buti sana kung nag-smile sya eh parang rapist yung dating nya! hay, sa singapore lang talaga ako nagkaron ng mga stalkers! pangalawa sya sa pinakamatinding stalker ko! mahirap talaga pag hot mama ka! :p

5. finally got my w660i sony ericsson walkman phone at a low-whooping 38 singapore dollars! well, thanks to promo and my 100 dollar voucher! grabeh, mas mahal pa ang bed sheet ko kesa sa cellphone!

6. at the escalator in plaza singapura, i noticed a girl. and NO hindi attraction yun but distraction! :p cebuana kasi talking with her other cebuana friend. she looked at me and i looked at her. then we looked at each other again sabay sabi nya "waaahhhh di ko matandaan saan kita nakilala" at sabi ko "familiar ka". naaalala na nya raw. ako daw ung crush nung brother nya at barkada nung brother nya. may pic daw ako sa kanila. naka-frame sa room ng bro nya! jowk! sa dami kong stalker, hindi na ko magtaka na yung brother nya ang connection namin! wehehehe. seriously, schoolmates pala kami in college. small world na naman.

7. when i came home, i wasn't feeling well. nauseated, pa-vomit-vomit kahit walang vomit. i think i'm pregnant! :p and noh, hindi si number 4. nag immaculate conception lang ako kasi may napanaginipan lang ako :p

baby leila

congratulations to ms lily and lloyd for a healthy and beautiful baby :)

news flash

there's one good thing that happened to me lately. well, actually it's not so new anymore as it happened around 3 weeks ago. due to having so many things on my mind lately, i only got to announce it to my friends whom i interact with everyday leaving some of my other close friends to find it out from other people. of course, it would be nice if the news comes from me personally.

the closest of my friends know one of the things that had been eluding me for the past 5 years. finally, i have it in my grasp. when i earned it, i didn't know how to feel actually. more than 5 years of waiting to finally be reunited with loved ones is finally possible. i'm not one who cries easily but at that moment, being alone, i cried. not buckets but tears that i could not contain.

happiness can really make you cry. when you have happiness within your grasp, you feel it's even sweeter after all the wait and suffering you had to endure.

happiness can come in the form of a visa. :)

post vacation musings

it's probably a default thing that happens. when i took a taxi from singapore's budget terminal to go home, i started thinking about work that awaits me the next day. good thing such thoughts never bothered me while i was on vacation. although, my 2 days 2 nights stay in phuket over the weekend wasn't as superb as i hoped it would be, i didn't worry at all of the things that i have to do this week.

in parts i enjoyed my vacation because of the company i was in but there were just some downtimes which i attribute to my own doing. i had been more reflective at times rather than being sociable and enthusiastic. i was drifting to other worlds in my mind in the middle of some interesting topics that my newfound friends were busy with. roland noticed my silence most of the time. my thoughts weren't about work, mind you. they were about something else. something bigger than the world! hehehe.

anyhow, the vacation actually ended with a bang. the last person i parted with whom i originally had qualms of conversing with turned out to be the best discourse i had in the entire trip. i found a kindred soul. an hour of waiting for our flights gave us a chance to open up ourselves to each other. but no this is not your romantic kind of connection. it's the kind where you realize there are others out there who somehow mirrors you: your way of thinking, your experiences, and pretty much who you are. it's the kind that makes you feel you're not alone.

hmmm, the trip wasn't not superb after all. my musings in between lively group discussions were justified by another capricorn born during that short hour of waiting for our flights back to each our homes. plus, i got to see old friends and gained new ones. yeah it was a superb vacation despite my "out of the party" mood.

o tukso layuan nyo ako!

when i'm down and weary, i give in to temptation.

this time, it's a $79 bedsheet!!! uy mahal na mahal na yan for me ha! i can buy 3 sets with that amount already!

hay, sira na naman ang budget this month! :(

sige na lang, masarap naman ang tulog! ;)

dream interpretation

last night i dreamt of eating glass. yeah like it was something really delicious! i remember that at first, on my plate were pieces of glass from the window of our kitchen at my current house, yet the setting was in a restaurant with my mom and a friend daw ha! i munched on them kitchen window glass with gusto! when i finished eating what's on my plate, the setting changed. behind me was the the window of our dining area at home. i went to the window, stood on a stool, and took two jalousie glasses. people at the restaurant were looking at me as i put the two jalousie glasses on my plate. aside from being aware of the eyes on me, i was wondering how i'd eat the two glasses when they were fatter than my arms!!! well, i think i didn't eat them at all. a little later though, a lady came to our table and told me that there's a furniture shop nearby where i could buy some jalousie glasses! wehehehe. end of dream.

i usually consult www.dreammoods.com for my dreams. here's what it had to say about eating glasses.

"To dream that you are eating glass, highlights your vulnerability, confusion and frailty. You may have difficulties in communicating your thoughts across and getting the right words out. Alternatively, it may symbolize your hurtful and cutting comments. Perhaps you have been hurt or disappointed by something that someone had said. Or you need to be careful in how you phrase and word things or run the risk of offending others."

hmmm. i was amazed at the "correctness" that this interpretation have. well, for my case, that is. i've had some moments lately of not being able to communicate well my thoughts and feelings that i, most of the time, withdrew myself from continuing what i was about to say. it happened to me yesterday and today. and YEAH there's one incident lately when i was hurt (or pa hurt hurt hehehe) by what someone said! i didn't expect that time that words that were supposed to comfort could hurt! hehehe. or baka nag-da-drama lang ako nun! :p anyways, for now, ayoko syang makausap! mag-enjoy syang mag-isa! wahehehe. :p makakakain na nga lang ulit ng glass! mas masarap pa kaysa sa kanya! :p

sweet 20 something

happy birthday suzie!!! :)

mwah!

corrections and keepsakes

i went through my japan memorabilia as they lie cluttered on my desk since april pa. gosh! i still haven't thrown any of the brochures, bullet train tickets, and even the notes i made on an a5 bond paper. i just can't seem to part with them. it seems that i'll forget my experiences if i throw them away.

i went through the huis ten bosch brochure. i discovered that i made a mistake of claiming in one of my earlier posts that one of the pictures i took was that of a replica of netherland's queen beatrix' palace. it was not. it was the ANA hotel. i have to correct it here. mahirap na. baka i-demanda pa ako! :p

i wasn't able to go to palace huis ten bosch pala, which was the actual reproduction of the queen's residence, due to the rain, limited time, and the huge size of the place. the movie feature, where the viewers' faces were scanned and made as characters in it, was called grand odyssey. it's the first participatory movie theater in the world. the restaurant where i had the most expensive meal of my life so far was in hotel amsterdam. the best 3d movie i ever saw was also in huis ten bosch: mysterious escher. the animal park which i failed to go to was called biopark. finally, the tower where i took the "aerial" shots of huis ten bosch wasn't a clock tower at all. (another wrong claim! sigh!) it was a landmark tower called domtoren.

i'm writing all these names since i'll be throwing the brochures and the notes. i can't hold on to them. since i've already decided on what i will be doing, i can't hang on to every item i collect in every place i go to. good thing i have this blog. it will come useful for someone who shall be leading a nomadic life in the months to come. this blog will remind me of the places i went to and will be going to, things i did and will be doing, and experiences i had and will be having.

but until my vagabond life begins, i will hold on to some little things for a while. some are just hard to part with like the little notes i got from friends. even the package wrapper of a book delivered through snail mail is not easy to throw away. i'm not sure if i'll be bringing these with me when i start packing my suitcase; but, for now, they'll stay on my desk waiting for my fingers to run through them once more in times of reminiscing.

ratatouille

watch it! for me, it was the best movie i've watched so far this year! ;)

it elicited mixed feelings and reactions from me. that's what usually makes me love a movie, a song, or a book or anything!

it made me laugh. it gave me a lump in the throat. it even made me scream once although it's not a horror movie. i was just taken by surprise. hehehe. the best feeling? laughing while having a lump in the throat! :p it was a first for me!

to quote suzie q's favorite line in the movie:

if i don't love it, i don't swallow! wahehehe. :p

best movie for the family! i hope there's a ratatouille restaurant opening. but i don't wish for a rat chef mind you! :p

nihon turipu apr 21: such a gay day!

i used to highlight in earlier posts either how early or late i woke up in the days during my japan trip prior to april 21; but this date, it'll be different. i neither woke up early nor late because i slept way way past a decent sleep time hour and so i woke up later than late! :p

from my dinner with the friendships tokyo edition on the 2oth, i went straight to arty farty in shinjuku to party and disco with a friend, who turned out to be a party animal after i left him to fend for himself in 2004! you see, i discovered this multi-colored-eyed (his eye color change depending on many things like surrounding light or his mood) brown-haired hansamuna otoko no hito in 2004 and trained him to full beauty-hood that led him to spread his wings and fly! teehee! i danced all night until, hmmm maybe, around 5 am with roland, kazuya, shinichi, and, of course, the unforgettable jun! :p why unforgettable? well, you'll find out later! hehehe.

despite having not enough sleep and being exhausted from my travel from osaka to kyoto to tokyo the day before, i danced like crazy because i knew that my trip would be ending soon! talagang sinulit! sayang ang ginastos lahat lahat eh! hahaha. and because i danced like there was no tomorrow, roland would regularly tell me of people who were checking me out. pero wa care ako! sometimes kasi, i get too carried away in dancing at wala na akong pakialam sa mundo because i become music itself. charing! may ganun ba? :p but one japanese guy was too good to be ignored. well, at least for roland at first. roland kept telling me that the guy behind me kept looking at me. when i turned around. holy mama of creation! one of the handsomest japanese faces i've ever seen in my life in a black suit with the tie loosened was hurriedly looking at the space above me at the instant that i turned to look at him. there was one problem though. he was too tall for me! wehehehe. i think he was about 6 feet tall. those who know me know my preference for diminutive beings. hehehe. :p

i turned back to roland and told him that the guy wasn't looking at me at all. roland told me that he would look away each time i face his direction and that he'd be observing me every time my back was to him. ging gang gooly goodness gracious! i started becoming conscious. di na ko makapag-sayaw ala shakira! naging mahal at mura na yata yung steps ko after that. and the naughty roland would be pushing me towards the guy. ano yan? nasaan na ang ating mga holding hands ha??? ooopppsss wrong revelation! :p

i tried to be brave but di ko kinaya ang kaguapuhan nya. i tried to dance with him but only for a very short while. naisip ko kasi: am i worthy? nag-dive ang confidence ni emman. hehehe. so i went on dancing with my friends until some other guys, or gays whichever they were, joined us. one of them was a half japanese half pinoy who only knew filipino curse words because he already grew up in japan. another one was ian, a fellow half filipino half filipina, na ni-reto ko kay jun which, later, i regretted of doing. crush ko kasi si jun because of his childish antics. lalo pa akong na in lab dahil talentado pala sya! :p

sometime when i took a break outside the bar, i met the tall handsomest guy ever. i mustered all the mustard-like confidence i could and smiled at him. we talked for about 15 seconds. unfortunately he was going home because his friend was going home. and in a quick instant, time was suddenly frozen or at least i had the movie-like slow motion moment, he hugged me! gosh! it was the best hug of my life! haaaaayyyyy. that was it. he walked away, waved and smiled while i could only look on, melting like ben n jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream! yummy! :p

you cannot blame me for not being able to get his number or email or you could say for letting the moment pass by. i was too mesmerized to do anything. and i guess he was also boyishly embarassed at what he did. oh my god. kinikilig na naman ako ngayon. tinatamaan ako ng arrows ni cupid! :p

enough of him na. sumasakit lang ang dibdib ko. :p

at around 5am, the same gang with the addition of ian, went to jonathan's, a 24 hour restaurant. duon masyado nang kinareer ni ian si jun! hmph! well, kasalanan ko naman kung bakit sila naging close. after having breakfast, we all went for karaoke. ang gagaling kumanta ng mga hapon! lalo na si jun. when he sang an emotional song, ian and i were looking at him with our jaws open! kaka-in love!!! i discovered that jun has a band. and i later discovered when i was in singapore already that he is the vocalist and guitarist of the ogs band with a number of screaming fans to their name! gosh! celebrity pala sya. hihihihi! :p one to-do thing ticked! ;)


i just have to mention that i sang islands in the stream with roland. hmmm, ganun kaya kami?

i think we left at around 9am. i got to lily's place at past lunch time. when i got there nagligpit pa ko. i asked them to let me sleep for a couple of hours. at 630, i was meeting roland again for dinner. i think i slept at around past 2. i planned of waking up at 4 so i could do some hasty pasalubong shopping as i hadn't done it yet.

and tadaaaa! i woke up past 630! panic full mode!!! was it 630 miss lily? i can't remember na actually. pero i called up roland and apologize profusely but he was also very late. hehehe. good thing na lang.

then i met him, rob, kiyo, and kazuya at shin-yokohama for the best katsudon meal i've ever had!


rob gave me a naughty calendar from club one seven. and roland gave me a box of ROLAND something. hehehe. i forgot what that food's called. it was like a breakfast cookie or something. para daw di ko sya makalimutan! haller! so hindi ko ba kakainin yun? hmmmm... pero tingin ko gusto nyang kainin ko yun so he'll live in my body forever and ever! pero ilalabas ko rin sa cr noh! har har har! :p meanwhile i was very flattered with the very friendly and jovial kazuya because he kept referring to me as sugoi omoshiroi or amazingly interesting! aba syempre di sya ma-amaze at ma-interested, eh, kinukuento ko ang mga beauty pageant stories ng pilipinas! :p

when we separated ways, it was roland and i on the train platform saying our goodbyes. hay. tagal na naman naming di magkikita. he boarded the train opposite mine. while the train wasn't going yet, people were looking at us kasi we were like children who played hide-and-seek with our faces from the train windows. para kaming nag-bubulagaan! hehehe. anyways, that was both a fun and poignant time. :) and :(

apr 21 was ending. though it was a super happy and gay day, i was sadly packing my suitcase at lily and lloyd's place. thanks lily. nakitulog pa ako. the next day, i was flying home.

mother teresa

a look at a surprising contradiction yet inspiring nonetheless:

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415-1,00.html

i never imagined the mother teresa we come to know as an epitome of selflessness, love, and piety, could be suffering from inner turmoil. nevertheless, we can draw inspiration from all her works and from how she eventually understood her inner doubts.

masters

congratulations

to

rhyze and gly! :D

ah murag kasal. hwek hwek hwek!

happy for you for getting your master's degrees!

mwah!

the importance of grammar

masyadong makabagbag damdamin ang previous ko na post. haluan natin ng medyong nakakaaliw na chika.

my friend elmer is one of the best writers and speakers (with perfect grammar) i know. one time he was the grammarian in our toastmasters club meeting. when he talked about grammar, he started by asking: "is grammar important?" then he went on saying na not really. he claimed that you can talk anything you want. with a few key words people around you will understand. you don't have to phrase your sentences in perfect grammar. he started giving examples. until he came to some examples of giving similar phrases or sentences that actually mean differently with how the tense or the number involved make the supposedly "similar" statements different. so grammar is important in conveying correctly what we want to convey. it allows the receiver of the message to actually get what you mean and avoid any misunderstanding.

kanina sa office at around 8pm. gutom at pagod na ko pero nung narinig ko ang boss kong nagsabi nagtanong sa team lead ko na "can you check the weather..." hanggang duon lang actually ang nag-sink in although may blah blah blah pa yung kasunod. naisip ko? ha??? check the weather? para saan???? at naisip ko na ahhhh he must have meant "can you check whether this or that..." hahaha

ayan, kaya dapat maingat sa grammar. although ako po, medyo pag pasensyahan nyo na. usually di ko na ni-re-review ang mga posts ko. when i read them the next day, ang daming mali. at ayoko nang i-edit pa kasi tamad eh. asus, actually alibi lang to noh. kulelat talaga ako sa grammar. kaya eto nag-ta-tagalog na lang ako. para di masyado halata!

ang oa ko noh? hehehe. the nerd of me! hmph! :p

kina-career ang trabaho

hahay, late na naman akong nakauwi. 2 weeks na akong mega busy. to the point na pumapasok pa rin kahit may sakit. eh pano ba naman? ung mga counterpart engineers namin sa france, bakasyon nang bakasyon. tig two weeks pa. isa lang matitira then the next week sya naman ang mag-le-leave at papalitan lang ng iba. at itong boss din namin dito, aba, feeling ko nagpapasikat. kabago-bago pa lang kasi eh. so dapat mega ganda points sa mga nakatataas. hmph! supposedly last week pa ang release pero ngayon may problem. next week na naman. kanina may problem na naman. mega escape na nga ako kanina kasi pagod na at gutom, hinabol ba naman ako ng tawag. una sa taxi. then pangalawa nung nasa bahay na ko. pero in fairness, hindi na masungit kung makipag-usap sa kin ang boss ko ngayon. unlike dati na parang tigre pag kausapin ako.

which brings to my next point. dahil sa kasungitan nya, wala akong ganang mag-trabaho. nag mega apply ako actually. ang dami din namang tumawag. medyo marami na rin akong phone interviews. pero lahat binagsak ko! yung 8+ years experience ko sa c++ ay walang sinabi sa mga kailangan ng mga nag-interview sa kin. pero actually hindi ako sa interview bumagsak eh. sa exams lahat at sa isang mega technical interview.

nakaka-depress. feeling ko ang bobo ko na pala. 8+ years wala akong binatbat!

ang mga tinarget ko na investment banks, wala ni isa nag-contact. hindi talaga ako qualified dun with my background. hindi masyado masakit kasi wala lang talaga ako nung kelangan na mga skills.

second merong isang startup na financial company. over the phone ang technical interview. my gaaddd!!! super technical talaga. sa third question pa lang, ayoko na. buti na lang hininto na namin. di actually masakit kasi nagdadalawang isip ako sa isang startup. baka dun na ko mamatay sa opisina nun sa mega ng trabaho.

third sa lta. gusto ko dito dati kasi government office. maganda ang perks and benefits. buti na lang di ako swak actually sa hinahanap nila. di ako puede sa security and crypto. di ako puede component level programming. at lalong wala akong experience sa .net. buti na lang kasi sabi nung manager usually 11pm umuuwi karamihan ng tao nila. di ko na binenta actually sarili ko. so ok lang.

fourth sa borland. hmmm, medyo half-hearted yung application ko dito. tatlong positions ang pinag-submitan ng dalawang agents sa borland. sinubmit ko pa ang resume ko sa isang kakilala. may edge pa sana ako dun sa exam na puro essay. inansweran ko halos lahat kahit di ko masyadong alam ang concept. na-dedo yata ako dun dahil lumalabas na nag-gue-guess lang ako ng answers at mali mali ang pagkaintindi ko. totoo naman. although, hindi naman ako totally naghahangad na mag-work sa kanila, parang bruised lang yung ego ko na hindi na ko tinawagan after nung exam.

fifth sa ea games! wow! ea games! naisip ko agad playstation, psp, nintendo ds, at pc games. bigatin. na-excite akong isipin na eto na yung chance kong makagawa ng games. hmmm, pero nung pumunta ako sa office nila, di ko na-typean. maganda actually ang office pero yung mga tao parang hindi ko feel. at ang exam pa, mega hirap! pinag-code ba naman kami nung mga itoa at atoi functions at mga binary search tree functions. plus nagtanong pa about mga running time. gusto ko nang itigil actually. at nung sinabihan akong time na, well, ang saya ko. walang follow up call. ok lang. hindi masakit.

sixth sa isang japanese company. gusto ko dito! sobra! konti lang sila sa office pero napaka-homey. naalala ko yung vicon and nec. parang pinaghalo nung dalawa. maliit na japanese firm. mabait ang manager. obviously sa interview, gusto nila ako. may take home assignment daw for the next na evaluation. kinindatan pa ko nung HR na kayang kaya ko yun. team lead yung position at visual c++. naku, my skill sabi ko! nung inemail yung assignment, nag-panic ako! drag and drop mechanism between splitter windows! gosh! di ko na-implement ang drag and drop dati sa project. pano ko sya magagawa in one week??? humingi ako ng extension. binigay naman. lumampas pa rin ako ng ilang oras sa extended deadline. tumawag ang agent at sabi na inaantay nila ang assignment ko. lahat nakapag-submit na daw at ako actually ang kanilang gusto sana. buti na lang nagawa ko. hay, kaya ko palang i-implement ang drag and drop. but sad to say, hindi yata at par yung implementation ko sa ibang candidates. eh, pano ba naman? spaghetti yung code ko dahil sa kaka-trial and error ng mga mfc functions. :( eto medyo masakit. gusto ko sana yung company kahit alam kong di nila kayang tapatan ang benefits ko ngayon.

ang huli yung pinakagusto ko sa lahat. ang autodesk. dumaan ako sa matagal na screening. isang 1 hour phone interview tungkol sa project ko dati. grabeh ang pag-gisa sa kin. buti na lang nasagot ko lahat. next 1 and a half hour phone technical interview. ay, eto inisip ko baka di ako pumasa. super hirap. pero ini-schedule nila ako ng final screening which composed of three parts. hanggang first part lang ako. technical exam. meron multiple choice about c++ concepts, multiple choice about mfc, and determining the output ng c++ code. inisip ko baka mababa lang ako dun sa concepts and mfc kasi nakalimutan ko na. medyo confident ako sa code. pero baligtad ang kinalabasan. ang taas ng concepts at mfc ko. bagsak ako sa code! dun ako mega disappointed sa sarili ko. di ko inakala na ganun ko ka hindi nakuha yung mga outputs nung code. nakita ko yung mga tricky statements pero bumagsak pa rin ako? napaisip tuloy ako if tama ba yung answer sheet nila. kasi naman halimbawa yung operator- nila eh addition ang ginagawa sa loob. pero hindi ko tinry i-refute yun kasi baka isiping nagmamarunong lang ako. kahit yung manager medyo na-disappoint. ang taas daw ng expectations nila kasi ok yung first two screenings ko. at pinapapunta lang nila sa office nila for the final three parts ng screening pag sure na silang malaki ang chance na matatanggap. pero nakakatakot din actually ang second part nung tinanong ko kung ano yun. ang sabi eh design walkthrough. ngak! parang bibigyan yata ako ng design problem at i-so-solve on the spot. in a way, parang ok na rin kasi baka atakehin ako sa nerbiyos kung umabot ako dun. pero ang ganda dun sobra. may mga naka-shorts lang. yung iba mga 11am na dumating. ang autodesk ay isa sa 100 best employers in 2006 sa US. wear anything you want ang isa sa mga policies nila. handa na sana akong naka-casual dress parati. hehehe. nagawa pang magbiro kahit bigo! :(

hay, ayaw ko munang mag-apply. hindi na yata ako puede sa development. pero inisip ko in a way they all lost a potential very good employee. nag-trace ako nung lahat ng mga projects ko dati sa entire working life ko. wala akong boss na naging unsatisfied sa performance ko. nakapag-deliver ako ng mga software of high quality! naks! nagyabang. pero totoo naman. ang hirap lang talaga pala ng screening ng mga companies dito. actually lumulusot ako sa interview. pero pag may halong mega technical, medyo pumapalya na ako. kailangan ko na yatang mag-review. pagpatuloy ko pa ba ang development? or stick na lang ako dito sa validation?

sa bagay, maganda rin ang future ng validation. at siguro stick muna sandali dito sa kumpanya ko ngayon. nagiging mabait na sa akin ang boss ko. at pinaparinggan pa nya ako ng team lead role sa validation. ayan! yung mga nag-deny sa kin, ay wala, they lost what could have been a valuable engineer. sa susunod dapat nagtatawag sila nung references ko. or kahit dun sa mga dati kong managers or supervisors. medyo kampante ako na puro papuri ang maririnig nila except na lang siguro na distracting ang exotic na kagandahan ko! hehehe.

hahay ulit. kakapagod tong sobrang subsob sa trabaho. affected na rin ang social life ko. di ko na maatupag ang aking dearly beloved fwends. sa office, pinapaalis ko agad pag gustong makipag-chikahan. sorry janz and neil. i'll make it up next time. hahalikan ko kayo. di na rin ako makasama sa lunchout ng aking pinakamamahal na mag sweethearts. sorry sue and johnex. sama na ko ulit two weeks from now. hehehe. mahal ko pa rin naman kayo. at di ko na maatupag ang aking mga crush. nagkawatak watak na sila sa aking isipan! :p

depressing ang stress at ang ma reject ng maraming beses especially nung dalawang kumpanyang gusto ko. pero sige lang. hindi siguro talaga ako dun dapat.

it's time for plan b. ay plan c na lang pala! :)

-----
napahaba na nitong monologue ko. puede nang maging piece sa linggo ng wika! :p

mainit na talakayan

a filipino writer had created quite a stir recently earning the ire of a lot of OFWs. i wanted to share my views as well about her distasteful articles, letters, and personality; but i read this blog and it says it all:

http://whatdowecare.blogspot.com/2007/08/regarding-malu-fernandez.html

i've heard of some who are not totally disagreeable to what she wrote, claiming that she has the right to pen her opinions. to this i say that everybody else has the right to judge her in turn.

and what a stir she'd indeed made. i'm not sure if this is her real public apology letter; but she surely reaped ugly consequences:

http://www.geocities.com/fernandez_malu

vanity is my favorite sin - the devil's advocate

You Are 50% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

nihon turipu apr 20: memoirs of a geisha

i was already panicky! not paniki mind you. may kaitiman ako pero pasado pa rin ako sa pagiging angel because of my angelic nature naks! naalala ko lang kasi ang isang story that went:

a black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy. the baby asked, "does this mean i'm an angel?" to which the fairy laughed and said, "ambisyosa ka! paniki ka!"

hwek hwek hwek. anyways, before i chatter only nonsense here, let me go back to my japan account.

i was already panicky! it was already the 20th. i was 2 days away from going home. :( there were a gazillion things i still wanted to do! :( like:

1. go to koyasan and spend overnight in one of the buddhist temples, wake up at dawn and pray with the monks, and have vegetarian meals at a minimum whooping cost of 9,000 yen (lunok)
2. go to himeji castle, the biggest and most beautiful castle in japan (sigh)
3. go to odaiba, my favorite place in tokyo (sigh)
4. do some souvenir shopping (panic)
5. go back to nagaoka to say goodbye, beso-beso, and hug mae, danna, and rizza (sakit sa dibdib)
6. go back to kyoto and be a maiko or apprentice geisha for 2 hours for a minimum whooping cost of 6,500 yen (waaaahhhh)
7. go back to kyoto to visit fushimi inari

and the list can go on!

but i could only do one due to my limited time, depleting moolah, and reserved plans for the night and the remaining next day (ahem!). i really wanted to be a geisha. i was already prepared of withdrawing money from either my credit card or atm; but i thought against it because with the little time i had left, i wouldn't be able to enjoy my being a maiko for a day. balak ko talaga kasing maglakad sa daan at ibent ang aking mizuage. i was already imagining my sales pitch to handsome locals and foreigners:

sumimasen. mizuage o buy-shimasen ka? watashi no mizuage ha oishii desu. onegai shimasu! big discount if hansamuna hito ka!

hehehe. sa mga marunong mag nihongo jan, pasensya na. tagpi tagpi lang ang alam ko! :p

anyways, i decided of going to fushimi inari instead to trace the trail where sayuri of memoirs of the geisha ran. it was a good decision! grabeh!


the orange torii was everywhere in all sizes. this was where the child sayuri in the movie memoirs of a geisha ran through. i can't recall the exact scene, though. i tried to imitate the running of sayuri but everytime i finish setting up my camera on a tripod and go inside the torii, people would be appearing from everywhere. eh, mahiyain ako so i ended up with half baked acting. di puedeng maging artista si emman.

the place was very big that i spent almost 2 hours there roaming around. well, torii galore lang naman ang meron dun but i still found it mesmerizing.

after sa pag-career ko ng pagiging photographer and model at the same time from all the photo shoots, i surveyed the neighborhood restaurants to sample their local dishes. i passed by one restaurant to the next contemplating on having an unagi don (eel meal or ill meal if u don't like it hehehe) because i haven't eaten one yet. i ended up in a restaurant at the middle of the lined restaurants just because the very old lady who was there smiled at me. her unagi don was more expensive than the ones in the other restaurants i passed by; but my heart melted to the old lady's, somehow, imploring smile. there weren't any customers kasi sa restaurant nya. but good thing was, i wasn't disappointed with my first ever taste of eel. :)


from osaka then to fushimi inari, kyoto, i was then headed to tokyo. it was really a blessing that i had a japan railway pass. it allowed me to travel great distances in a few hours only via shinkansen or bullet train.

eto ang babaeng walang pahinga


dahil sa sobrang nasanay na sa lamig, nainitan na ko during lunch time. confi na ulit mag sleeveless si emman kaya ang mga haponeses ay nakatingin sa akin. i was actually walking like that in fushimi inari. ;)

when i arrived at tokyo at night, i met up with lily ann, lloyd, and tess at the tokyo tower.

and dinner with the friendships, tokyo edition: lily, lloyd, jay, tess, and grace. thanks guys for the hospitality and wonderful company. (singhot, hikbi)

after whole day of travelling and good night of dinner and chatter with the friendships, i went home to the open arms of a disco bar and partied all night until the wee hours of dawn with who else? abangan na lang sa apr 21 story! :p

the filipino name generator

dongky sent to the friendships mailing list this funny filipino name generator. he included in the email the "equivalent" filipino name of my name. :p

Emmanuel Villaceran (M) - Manuel Allan Pangarap Callangan
Emmanuel Villaceran (F) - Evangeline Pilar Little Flower Quililan

tama bang may Male at Female version ang name ko???? wala bang girlalou? hehehe. medyo swak sa akin ang name ng Male kasi mahilig akong mangarap. at hindi rin nalalayo sa pagiging true ang Female version kasi may tinatago akong little flower! wehehehe.

hmmm, what if i change my name according to the name generator's suggestion? ma-try nga ang iba't ibang combinations. and makapili alin ang super duper swak sa personality ko. :D

Emman Villaceran (F) - Evangeline Pilar Little Flower Quililan
Emman Villaceran (M) - German Allan Pangarap Callangan
emms villaceran (F) - Estrella Pilar Little Flower Quililan
emms villaceran (M) - German Allan Pangarap Callangan
emmanuel pescador villaceran (F) - Evangeline Xalbadora Little Flower Quililan
emmanuel pescador villaceran (M) - Manuel Pedring Pangarap Callangan
emman pescador villaceran (F) - Evangeline Xalbadora Little Flower Quililan
emman pescador villaceran (M) - German Pedring Pangarap Callangan
emms pescador villaceran (F) - Estrella Xalbadora Little Flower Quililan
emms pescador villaceran (M) - German Pedring Pangarap Callangan

for sure ayokong maging pedring at pilar. mapili na nga ang evangeline xalbadora little flower quililan. just call me little flower for short. kasi makipot ako! har har har! :p

try it out at http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/6547/

nihon turipu apr 19: let there be peace and party afterwards!

at this point of my travel tale, i won't post the map of japan anymore to show where i went next because from this day until i went home, i only had to go back to a few places that i'd been to before.

like the previous day, emman was up at around 5 am. you can conclude by now that the place i was staying for two nights is a place that closes and shoos away their customers at 5 in the morning!

here's a blurred photo i took of an otherwise bustling hakata city had it been later than 5 am.


at past 7 am, i was headed back to hiroshima. i was there two days before but had to go back for two reasons: the a-bomb dome and the best okonomiyaki.

i got to the peace memorial park, where the a-bomb or atomic bomb dome still stands as the symbol of hiroshima city, at around 9 am. i only took pictures of the place, its structures and symbols with nary me in them because aside from being too exhausted from having less than 5 hours sleep and walking for 30 minutes from the train station to the park, it just didn't feel right to be posing ala-beauty queen flashing a fake smile and voluptuous body. :p i felt that the place which was nearly wiped out by the atomic bomb had to be "felt" and reflected on. yeah, i had some drama moments there.

being there also amazed me at how the japanese citizens are the number one tourists of their own country. it was early in the morning but there were groups of school children and groups of adults touring around, examining the surroundings, and seriously talking about what they see.


aside from the a-bomb dome, hiroshima is famed for its okonomiyaki. i already had a yoshinoya breakfast. despite being full, i still had to have a taste of the okonomiyaki which was cooked right in front of me! waaahhhh, i just had a mistake of saying yes when the cook asked me if i wanted soba or udon. i really thought that that was a basic ingredient to the dish. grrrr! it turned out to be an add-on. i ended up paying more and having a 3/4 of the original size leftover! but it was worth it! yummy!


after hiroshima, i went all the way back to osaka to meet my gracious and beauteous osaka host, lola kay, and three other gorgeous lasses, lola idel, lola rose, and lola anna mae. unfortunately, lola idel was sick and lola rose allowed herself to be enslaved by her boss in ways i cannot imagine! hehehe. so the three girls, moi, kay, and anna mae, had ramen in a ramen house with a cute guy whom we kept calling for water, soy sauce, more orders, and what nots! but he would send another guy instead to do our bidding! grrrr... and the fun part of our dinner was talking in japanese to the guy asking for their part time job! he was smitten right then and there by us ladies! :p

afterwards, us ladies went down to an empty bar and danced until past 11pm. and it was a thursday night! para kaming mga baliw sumasayaw sa dance floor na kaming tatlo lang! but it was fun beyond craziness! ;)


idel nikuyog unta ka! naka-harvat mi didto girl! :p

nihon turipu apr 18: going dutch

at 5 am i was already out in the streets of hakata. i had a glimpse of how southern japan's metropolis feels like at the break of dawn in springtime. it felt cold but not indifferent. it felt serene despite the concrete structures that surrounded me. or maybe it just felt wonderful to be fully awake at 5am, solitary in streets that are bustling during daytime.

ang nasabi ko talaga: wow! ang aga ni emman! :)

when i got to hakata station, i also saw some disturbing scenes. the train station was littered with vagrants sleeping on boxes laid on cold floor. the exploratory nature in me actually had a crazy thought of trying it out myself in the coming night: sleeping on the floor at one of the nooks in the train station just to have a feel of it, to experience it; but seeing a police officer harass one of the homeless and the latter fighting back to get more sleep, i reprimanded myself for thinking of such silly thoughts. i should be feeling compassion for those people instead of feeling adventurous. well, that's contrast for you. japan, despite its affluence, cannot shelter everyone.

i stayed at mister donut for over an hour waiting for the train station to start operating. in 2 hours time, i was already aboard a rapid train going to huis ten bosch, the farthest i got to southward during my solo trip in japan.

since the south was the warmest part of japan at that time, i changed into something daring. hehehe. i wore a sleeveless shirt, my pajama-like trousers with leg warmers underneath, a pair of violet toe socks, and slippers. yeah, nabuang si emman for a while. when i got off a the huis ten bosch train station, ay naku, it was the coldest ever, as in EVER during my trip there. it was raining hard and i think huis ten bosch was on higher altitude. so emman changed again. this time full gear. i had layers of clothes! sleeveless shirt underneath a long sleeve shirt underneath a jacket underneath a trench coat! asa ka ana! :p


since it was raining, i bought an umbrella. when i set off towards the huis ten bosch park, ay naku, i knew that the rain and strong wind wouldn't deter me from exploring the whole place. the place was spectacular! it was a true dutch sight!

below is the huis ten bosch palace which is a replica of netherland's queen beatrix' palace. huis ten bosch, by the way, means house in the forest.

the goddess and her windmills.

gosh! the most expensive solo meal of my life! but it was all worth it: beef steak, strawberry white chocolate mousse, sparkling wine, and all!

an aerial view of huis ten bosch. how did i take it? i flew of course! :p nah, it was taken in the tallest building there which was a clock tower.

huis ten bosch wasn't just dutch structures and flowers. it was an amusement park at the same time. i went into a lot of museums including a teddy bear museum and a bell museum. there were also some virtual shows. the most unforgettable one was a galactic virtual show where the audience are participants themselves in the movie. before the show, we had our faces scanned. we were not allowed to smile or make any funny or weird faces. so emman, instead, made a maldita face by raising her left eyebrow.

movie time, i was looking what character i portrayed. and my ging gang gooly goodness gracious! my face appeared as one of the guardians/defenders/warriors of that galactic story! ang masakit ay lalaki ang role ko! waaaahhhh! at ang mas masakit pa, yung katabi kong hapon na lalaki ay babae sya sa movie! nakasaya sya! gosh! pero buti na lang leader kunyari ako nung tropa ng mga warriors! and in the end i saved the day! charing! :p yeah, being a guardian was better than those other roles na receiver or other ek-ek na puro chika lang ang ginawa during the entire movie, while my face was careening here and there in the screen aboard a motorcycle like vehicle that flies. i was pursuing the enemies and trying to save the entire galaxy! o diva! hehehe.

huis ten bosch is one place tourists shouldn't miss. you'll get a glimpse of europe. plus there are lots of fun things to do there. oh there was also an open zoo nearby where one could feed the animals roaming around. mga deers na naman! but there were other animals. i wasn't able to go because it was raining damn hard! at least i'll have reason to go back! teehee! :p

when i went back to hakata at night, i was dead tired that i slept right away in.... hmmm... wherever :p

ay ewan ko sayo!

minsan masyado na yata akong nagiging assuming. dahil may ginawa lang ako para sa iba, iniisip ko na gagawin din nila sa akin ang kagaya ng ginawa ko! hmph to him! and hmph to myself na rin for expecting too much!

pero tuloy pa rin ako! i'm sure i'll have a grand time with the others! phuket here i come once again!

ma-inggit ka na lang maging sino ka man! hmph! sumama ka dun sa kanya sa bangkok! grrr...

small world phenomenon: the emman connection

i'm enjoying recalling all the small world moments i've had since i started living in singapore. i have so many tales to tell. i remember even writing that singapore has become my island. recently, janz even told me that i can run for public office and win. well, we'll see. :p

there's just one experience i want to relay. being connected with me in one way or another has benefits of great magnitude! charing!

once, a friend of alvin, my hunk of a housemate, was lost in singapore. not really lost as to direction but lost in a sense that she did not know what to do.

she was at a place where she was scared to be although it wasn't really scary at all; but being new and alone in singapore for the first time, it's understandable. her only contact was alvin's house number. our house number. she didn't have any other numbers of her other friends.

she called up our house and was a bit panicky already with her situation. she needed someone to fetch her from where she was. hindi sa pag-bubuhat ng sarili kong silya but it was a good thing i was in the house when she called up. alvin's mobile was unreachable. sue, stan, and johnny didn't know her. hermes' and chrismael's numbers were unreachable as well. and i didn't have the numbers of her other friends.

well, emman thought. it's time to pull out the friendster connection list! hehehe. i recalled being introduced to one of my friend from nsp, cha's friend, juvy, whom i met one time with joan, the friend of alvin and who also happens to be a friend of the friend of alvin who was lost! ang daming friend! hehehe. so i got joan's number through juvy whose number i got from cha! friendster.com! :p and so she was fetch by her friends after i was able to call up joan!

emman saved the day! it pays to be connected with emman! wehehehe. :p

if you need something may it require to be done in africa, new zealand, tahiti or wherever, just call me! my fees are.... priceless!!! :p

small world phenomenon: better than ezra

i loved two songs from better than ezra: desperately wanting and good. but this post is not about those songs or about the band. this is about my newfound hunk and handsome of a friend going by the monicker of ezra! naks! magiging feeling na yun if mabasa nya to! kaka-add ko pa lang naman sa kanya sa multiply! :p hehehe

ez, huminahon ka. it's not all about you, promise. it's all about how the world has conspired for us to get together in the most extraordinarily small world way! :p charing! this post is, rather, about the thing that is better than ezra. it's the small world phenomenon that connects us.

i met ezra during my flight back to singapore january of this year. he was one of the flight attendants of cebu pacific. he looked very familiar. i didn't mind him, though, despite his good looks (charing! ayan guapo ka na ha. gibaligya jud taka ser) because i contented myself with thoughts that he was probably a schoolmate in college. besides i was to engrossed with some other being in my mind at that time. then out of nowhere he came up to me and said "emmanuel villaceran?". aba! full name basis ito!

i was surprised. and he narrated a litany of things that connect us! what amazed me was he knows a lot of things about me and i didn't even know what his name was! hehehe. (sorry ez, i really had a bad memory). he said we were schoolmates in high school. he went to our house once since his mother was of the same province as my father. and the shocking thing was his ex-girlfriend was the daughter of my mother's friend in the states. and that he knew that i met his ex-girlfriend in 2005! gosh! stalker ba ito? hehehe.

anyways, i thought it would end there. but i was wrong.

yesterday, my new officemate janz who used to work in nsp told me that israel sent his regards to me. he said israel is staying at the house where he is staying since his housemate is israel's friend.

yes. israel is ezra!

earlier ezra called me up to meet with him. he said he was bringing along the friend whom he's staying with, janz' housemate. tantantararan! when i met him, his friend lutchie looked familiar! she's the one whom i saw regularly near our place in cebu! ang liit na ng mundo ko talaga!

all throughout our dinner i found out that ezra is not just my schoolmate in high school but he used to be my classmate in elementary!!!! gosh! hindi ko talaga maalala ser! sowee... hehehe... he even described that i was a silent boy/girl/gay back then! kaya naging best in deportment! hehehe. he even remembered where i was sitting and who was sitting in front of me! gosh! nakakatakot na! stalker na talaga ito! hahaha... joke lang.... bilib lang ako sa memory ni ezra! and i felt envious that my classmates in elementary had a mini reunion at his house recently!

ang tanda ko na talaga. i don't recall any of them anymore including ez. hehehe.... sorry ser... sana i made it up with the mega dinner na napilitan kang kainin! hehehe. :p

it was a fun night! and looking forward to see you again! ;)

it's raining money in japan

the japanese people never fail to amaze me (like how i never fail to amaze them hehehe). read on:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070729/lf_afp/lifestylejapancharitymysteryoffbeat_070729023457

i'm amazed at how someone has been giving away his money. and i'm even more amazed at how the benefactors are reacting!

if this was happening in the philippines... well, i really can't imagine either! the japanese will be amazed at us! hehehe :p

hay sana umulan ng pera para maging mayaman na lang ako!

nihon turipu apr 17: dear deers

finally, i get to continue it. :D sowee mga fans! hehehe...

early morning of april 17, i was dreaming of him. ngak, wrong entry! i think i woke up at around 9 on that day. i remember leaving around 10 in the morning to head to osaka station for my three day solo tour at hiroshima and hakata.

it was a 2 and a half plus hours by shinkansen from osaka to hiroshima. i was placed in a "silent car" part of the shinkansen. no announcement could be heard in that car so i had to be alert everytime the train stopped at a station. i was seated next to a not so bad looking nihon-jin. hehehe. i was sooooo hungry but i didn't eat because when i tried to open my plastic bag of karaage and rice, i had to desist. i was making too much noise! everybody was sleeping. i had to remember i was in a silent car. aside from making the plastic noise, the smell of the fried chicken was too "loud" in itself! poor me i had to eat the remaining tortilla chips that my ever beloved japanese ex-boss gave me as baon.

since i went too late to hiroshima, i skipped going to the a-bomb site and headed instead to miyajima island, one of the famed three most scenic spots in japan. the torii in the ocean made this island famous.

when i set foot on the island, huwow, i was mega happy despite my grumbling and complaining stomach. (i still hadn't eaten breakfast and lunch during the trip save for the tortilla chips) deers where everywhere. they were roaming around eating everything in their path! i saw some signs warning us to keep watch of our belongings as the deers eat paper, plastics, and clothes! and trulili, i saw a group of them dear deers snatching from a lady her paper bag. after they got it, all deers got their share of good food! hehehe.

and don't ever think that i didn't have my own exciting deer encounters. remember, i was hungry. i went to sit on a bench in front of the sea. i made sure no deer was in 50 meters proximity. after seeing that the deers were quite far, i began to unpack my food excited to bite and chew and swallow while looking at the sea in that lovely spring sea breeze. after two bites or so at my chicken, a deer was running towards me and my plastic bag! waaaahhhh!!! he bit my map! grrrr... i had to stuff all my food into the plastic bag (take note: not into the food container anymore) along with my drinks and tissue! i ran away. the deer actually followed me a few steps!

and i thought they were endearing! next i found me another bench. just when i opened my plastic bag, two deers had their ears pointing at my direction along with their eyes and noses! ahhh, i had to leave. i was walking around trying to find where there were no deers! but my ging gang gooly goodness gracious, they were everywhere like pokpoks in the streets of geylang singapore! i was becoming agitated by then. i trekked a hill going to somewhere (i forgot... hehehe... cable car perhaps). while going up i still noticed some deers feeding on grass in very steep slopes. and then i found a haven! a solitary open cottage with no one around. and no deers! finally! i settled there and was undisturbed halfway through my meal when all of a sudden a deer was coming towards my direction.

my gaaaaaadddddd!!! i screamed at the deer, lubayan nyo ako!!!! this time, i didn't run away. i stood my ground. or rather, i sat my high chair! hehehe. the deer was intent on approaching me. but thanks to having read "the life of pi", i learned how to control the animal. i looked at it straight in the eye. without batting an eyelash i continued eating. everytime the deer averted its eyes, i followed his gaze. the deer started to make some deer noises through its nose. i started to growl like an offspring of a polar bear and monkey. why polar bear and monkey? my confidence was as large and beautiful as the polar bear while my sound was as funny as a monkey. oh oh ah ah grrrr. it went on for about 3 minutes until the deer relented, turned back, and walked away defeated, and hungry perhaps. i was successful! yipeee!!! i was an official animal tamer! :p

after my sweet victory against one big menacing deer and after finishing my meal, i traipsed the island from its high of highs to its low of lows. :)

the five storey pagoda.

looking towards the famed itsukushima shrine.


and getting friendly with a deer. :p

after miyajima island, i boarded the shinkansen going to hakata. weeeee... i was finally going to kyushu! i've heard so many good things about it including handsome and accommodating guys! ahem! hehehe. this is where my ultimate challenge in finding accommodation took place. i couldn't find one!

i stayed at starbucks for an hour asking questions about cheap accommodations. it was nearing 12 midnight. i was already intent of staying there for the whole night but i was so dead tired that i needed sleep. waaahhh. good thing i had my notes about hattenbas in kyushu. hihihi. that was an exciting day. and night! :p

and i thought i would never be able to give a lengthy account of this day. pasalamat ako kay deer at may naikuento pa rin ako! hehehe. :p

till next time! mwah!